Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Elf 'n Safety
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat (if Nanny hasn't put him on a diet) etc.
As we move inexorably towards the season of festive fun and frolics, Nanny's Elf 'n Safety Gestapo are on the march again.
This time they have put their size ten jackboots into Santa's sleigh. Nanny is worried that Santa may fall off his sleigh, which travels at a mind boggling 5 mph, and have ordered him to belt up.
Recall the halcyon days when a man with a red flag had to walk in front of a car, lest it run someone over?
Nanny brings those memories flooding back with her prissy attitude to Santa's sleigh.
Anyhoo, Santa's visits to Halesowen West Midlands have been organised by Halesowen and Rowley Regis Rotary Club every year for 20 years. Unfortunately our old friends in the money grasping world of insurance almost put paid to Santa emptying his sack (can I say that here?), when they issued an edict saying he must wear a seat belt and upped the premiums accordingly.
Fortunately a modification to his sleigh was made, a harness was added.
Rotary president Barry Wheeler was not that impressed with the Elf 'n Safety knobheads.
"We have done the sleigh round the towns
for something like 18 to 20 years.
Every year we have made sure Santa gets to
go through the town and wave to the children.
But this year we found out we actually
needed a much more wide-ranging insurance
policy for Santa riding on the sleigh
because of health and safety rules.
It would have run into a four-figure sum
which we just couldn't afford to pay.
We pay for the Santa sleigh visits out
of the club funds,
not from the collections we do.
But even club funds couldn't run
to the huge amount the insurance wanted.
It just seemed ridiculous, especially
because he doesn't actually ride on
the sleigh that often.
The sleigh is towed from place to place
by a Land Rover. Santa only usually gets
on once we get to the place of choice
and then the sleigh is towed at a rather
He would be more likely to injure himself
getting in and out of the sleigh than
actually falling out of it."
Insurance companies are getting away with murder these days, thanks to Nanny's zero risk policies and people's greed and desire to sue for the slightest accident/bit of bad luck.