Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Prats of The Week - Sunbed Wars

Prats of The WeekIt is a wet and windy Monday morning here in Engerlund, and as such it is time for my prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week my heartfelt congratulations to the passengers of P&O's 77,000-ton Oceana liner who reported Christopher Wells, the skipper, to the Equality and Human Rights Commission.

For why?

There has been something of an ongoing spat on board over the use and reservation of sunloungers. A habit that is normally associated with Germans holidaymakers had spread to the passengers of the Oceana (none of whom were German), whereby towels and knickknacks are placed on the sun loungers in order to reserve them for use several hours later.

It is of course a thoroughly selfish habit, as more often than not the lounger remains unoccupied for several hours.

Passengers became increasingly narked over the lack of available sunbeds on the Oceana during their 15 day cruise of the Caribbean last month; all manner of objects used to reserve the sunloungers - towels, books, bags and clothes etc.

It became so bad that Capt Wells imposed a 20-minute limit on sunbeds being left unoccupied, and made several announcements to try to end the so-called "sunbed wars".

Needless to say, the passengers ignored him. There were increasingly heated rows between the passengers over the reservation of the sunloungers.

Eventually Capt Wells (who is married to a German) told the ship's 2,000 passengers:

"We don't want that kind of Germanic behaviour here!"

Clearly the point hit home, ie it was a well judged observation, and some reported him to the watchdog.

The Equality and Human Rights Commission has launched an inquiry, and Capt Wells has been forced to apologise for causing offence.

I was brought up by my parents to deal with petty matters myself, and not to report ("tell") on people to others. Nanny teaches people to report to the state, and related bodies; by this means she keeps us under control, as we fear that our neighbours, colleagues and friends may in fact be spying for her.

The passengers who reported him are well deserving of this week's "Prats of The Week" Award.

My advice to them is to grow up and deal with the matter yourselves, don't bring others into your petty and selfish arguments.


  1. Anonymous1:35 PM

    Any lawyers out there care to tell me how a UK-based "Human Rights" body can investigate an "incident" that happened in international waters? Would love to know.

  2. grumpy2:31 PM

    Shame on the Captain, doesn't he know 'We're all Europeans now'?

  3. With the rise in the number of "grass lines" attached to government agencies and departments, we are becoming a nation of tell tale tits.

    I too wonder how a UK agency can investigate overseas incidents.

  4. grumpy4:42 PM

    One can only assume that the ship is registered in Britain

  5. This country needs to bloody well lose a war for a change.

  6. Anonymous5:30 PM


    It has, economically, lost many wars.

    But the thing is that very few countries will admit to not winning a war (or indeed anything) unless it is so blatantly obvious that they did lose that no one will even contemplate re-writing history for a few hundred years.

    Which, in the modern age, probably means it will never be re-written since by then it will likely be deemed entirely irrelevant.

  7. Never mind about losing wars - we've lost the peace.

  8. Anonymous9:20 PM

    Why didn't they respond the English way. Steal the things left as markers.
    Maybe start a drunken brawl. Set fire to things.
    Claim everyone is a racist.

  9. english liberation front12:01 AM

    I cannot see what is wrong with using the phrase "Germanic behaviour" in the context that everyone knew what he was referring to at the time. At least he didn't say "Hunnish behaviour" or refer to "Beastly Huns" which would have been unacceptable. That would have implied he was referring to how the Germans behaved towards the citizens of the European countries they occupied in two world wars, before the British liberated them, having fought alone for their own freedom which lasted until 1997.

  10. Anonymous9:35 AM


    We have lost our final war, without a bullet being fired. Brown and the other traitors have given power over this country to the EU.

    Until we leave we are now de facto governed by the EU. Germany and France won in the end.

  11. Only because we've hung back on the sidelines, instead of muscling in and pulling our weight to make the EU work more sensibly and efficiently.

  12. grumpy4:52 PM

    when you say, "...muscling in and pulling our weight to make the EU work more sensibly and efficiently.", surely you mean 'invading the place and shooting a few of the bastards', don't you?

  13. number 610:09 AM

    The EU is an unreformable corrupt political construct.

    It was based on a lie from the start, remember the 'common market' with all of the superstate intentions, single currency, federal rule, common taxation, etc etc hidden from us mere voters.

    Now the slime have the power and they intend to use it. Don't want the constitution, tough, want to control your own borders, don't be silly, bin taxes, the EU will decide how much we pay per binload, road tolls ditto, ID cards yo vill carry your papers at all times, citizen. Expect your vote to change anything merci, dont make moi larf.

  14. grumpy2:54 PM

    Numero six,
    que makez vous think that you vill have ein vote dans le near future?
    Once les ID Cards are issued, nous sommes all going to be comme kleine robots - vous vill do what du hast been told - und like it! They vill know where you live (und everything else about vous), vot vould you need der vote for?

  15. Anonymous10:43 AM


    Sadly, I agree as EU nanny and her local government (the government formerly know as HM Gov) are busily working at running every aspect of our lives and making us into good EU citizens - whether we like it or not. If we don't well, we either get active and join UKIP (I did) emigrate or get ready for the gulag. The gulag won't be a bars and windows prison, but it will be a prison none the less as our freedoms will be totally curtailed unless we conform to all of EU and UK nannies diktats, eg no ID card, no passport, no access to health care (although that might just save your life)no vote as the EU now controls everything of importance from roads through to food production. No ID card upon demand, oh dear, please come along to the station sir, while we sort this out..

    Many snort with laugther at these assertions, but to them I say remember when the idea of a single currency for 'Europe' was laughed at, when the notion of a British government having to run to Brussells to get its laws OK'd would have been risible?