Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

A Conundrum

A ConundrumNanny, the media, the butchers' profession, Tesco and other "experts" have been working themselves up into a bit of a frenzy recently over booze and its "alleged" effects on people's behaviour.

In Nanny's view, booze is the root cause of many of society's ills eg; violence, crime, anti social behaviour etc.

Now herein I would like to present a counterpoint, based on my own modest contribution to the "booze debate".

On Friday I dined in Londinium with an old chum of mine from my days in KPMG. An excellent evening was had by all, first in the Red Lion then in Le Boudain Blanc (I will be adding a review about that to my Restaurant Reviews site in due course); an elegant sufficiency of booze was consumed by all.

I personally rounded off the meal with an Irish coffee (in honour of being half Irish, and it being St Patrick's day on Monday) and four double Remy Martins (the singles looked ridiculous in the glass).

After that I wended my way back to Croydonia, using the underworld railway and Network Snail.

Now, despite having consumed an elegant sufficiency of alcohol, I still managed to get home perfectly safely WITHOUT:

1 Assaulting anyone

2 Stamping on anyone's head

3 Vomiting or collapsing in the street

4 Passing myself off to police as Euan Blair, or a minor member of the royal family

5 Pissing against a wall

6 Vandalising the tube or train

7 Inflicting any form of anti social behaviour on my fellow passengers

8 Putting my feet up on the seats

9 Swearing loudly, or talking on my mobile phone

10 Being attacked, mugged, robbed, assaulted or buggered about with in any way

Brown BottleNow the thought occurs to me, if I a shy, retiring, reserved, middle aged accountant (who wouldn't say boo to a goose) can manage to do that, despite having consumed more than Nanny's preferred/recommended quantity of booze, why is that the yoof of this country (who are less than half my age) cannot manage to do the same having consumed a few water based, fizzy, sugar added shitty drinks flavoured with sub standard vodka?

The answer my friends is this...

It's not the booze, its the personalities that causes the trouble.

The badly behaved scumbags that litter the streets of Britain on Friday and Saturday are badly behaved, because they are badly behaved per se. They are ignorant yobs who have not been brought up properly by their parents to respect others, to respect themselves or indeed to be able to drink in a sensible manner.

The root cause of Britain's behavioural ills lies not with booze, but lousy parenting.

Curing that will require a lot more effort than merely farting around with headline grabbing taxes on alcohol flavoured fizzy water.


  1. Ken:

    You are completely right and it is about time Nanny woke up to the fact, the yobs behave in a yobbish manner because they can.
    A childhood of no boundaries or consequences for their actions.

  2. It is my belief that until parents retunr to teaching their offspring the basics of how to behave, and to respect others (not just expect/demand respect for themselves as is the norm with yoof) this issue will not be reolved.

    A means of encouraging better parenting would be:

    1 The family house arrest scheme that I have proposed many times before

    2 A reintroduction of the stocks for both the yoof and the parnets

  3. did you fall in the gutter then give a false name like euan blair. I blame the parents for the brat and the legislation.

  4. When I was younger, so much younger than today, I often got, shall we say, inebriated, but I never went out with the INTENTION of getting drunk, it just happened.
    Even then, I wouldn't try to pick a fight with anybody.
    The youth of today know that if they commit the crime they wont do the time.

  5. Alice3:06 PM

    I can't drink much anyway for anti-spazz reasons, but I evolved from those yeuchy alcopops onto more proper booze a long while ago. Can't stand beer or wine, unfortunately; I got for the spirits mostly and recently they got me onto Sambuca...I'm a little picky when it gets to alcohol - oh, what, relevant comment? Yeah. I'm usually the half-sober one who leads the way home, but none of the SoCo-inebriated fellows do much except try to get home quickly...

  6. Dear Ken,

    Your problem is that you appear to have been raised by parents who expected you to behave more or less like a human being (even when fairly pissed).

    What's more, you are probably the product of an antiquated educational system that failed to demonstrate sufficient tolerance for the behavioral vagaries of its students, only adding to your victimization and oppression.

    From time immemorial, "youfs" have felt the need to demonstrate their disenchantment with the system, whatever the hell that is. It's perfectly normal for teenagers or early twenty-somethings to want to go out and raise a little hell, challenge the status quo, and make a nuisance of themselves. What's abnormal is a society of adults that doesn't tell them to quiet down, grow up, and stop acting the fool.

  7. Anonymous11:54 PM

    If I were you I would get Trading Standards to investigate the two alcohol vendors you mentioned ...

    Black Sea makes a good point about normality of youth, perhaps even yowth of the female persuasion who these days seem more ready than I remember to disport themselves excessively in public. I blame Germaine Greer and her ilk.

    Outwith the rash abandon that yowth can bring to their decision making skill, such as it is, a number of Nanny's projects over the years would have been, shall we say, difficult to prosecute.

    Anything related to military activity for example.



    Are you ready for a "BT is Crap" offshoot blog? I'm gathering material ...

  8. Dixon of Dock Green12:43 AM

    The answer to the problem is nightstick, paddy wagon and drunk tank in sharp order. After a night in the drunk tank hauled up before a magistrate on a charge of Disorderly Conduct in a Public Place and Breach of the Queen's Peace. Heavy fine, including costs for the wasted time of the emergency services and the overnight accommodation. Order to be bound over to keep the peace for 12 months. If under 21 parents fined too. We already had all these laws years ago. Perfectly good ones too. Unfortunately we no longer have police officers or courts capable or willing to enforce them. They would rather stand around staggering, vomiting, incoherent yoofs in little groups trying to reason with them like social workers and creating incident magnets for every other scumbag and n'er do well in the vicinity. Wasting their time and our money. But what do I know? I've forgotten more than these imitation coppers will ever learn.

  9. grumpy1:00 PM

    Most - if not all - of us can say that, so far as getting pissed and making arseholes of ourselves is concerned, 'Been there, done that!"
    I suspect that most of us can also say that, had we been inclined to act like today's yoof, we would have fully expected to feel the full weight of the law when (and I do say 'when' rather than 'if') we were nicked.
    What many of us would also attest to is that - however rigorous - the weight of the law would have been as nothing compared to the punishment of our parents and our family.
    I received my first lesson in this kind of 'unfairness' when, at 11years old, I was escorted home by a policeman who told my mother that I should not be out at 9:00pm. Having already been given the statutory clip on the ear by said copper (possibly Dixon of Dock Green himself) I naively assumed I had already been punished. Was I wrong!
    The following thirty minutes, during which my parents demonstrated their disapproval made it clear (for ever) that society/authority/my parents expected a certain standard of behaviour, so that, even during my period of yoof-ful rebellion, I never quite lost sight of the law of consequences.
    Some of my kids' contemporaries at school thought that I was brutal and Victorian for making them abide by the same rules. My kids (now grown up) have often thanked me for giving them clear rules; saying, in effect, that it kept THEIR rebellion within sensible limits.
    The major problem today is that the idiots who make the laws have no idea of what life is about, outside their own little spheres. As Ed Balls said in Parliament about struggling pensioners, "Who cares?"

  10. While I'm not denying a problem exists, most comments here are simply demanding a different kind of nanny, one with their own set of prejudice and preference.

    It seems to me you truly believe thay nanny DOES know best, as long as that nanny suits your personal tastes.

    Confusing, is this blog pro-freedom or not.

  11. Furthermore the myriad jokey mispellings of youth make you all look like a bunch of out of touch codgers, trying to out-do each other with your contemptuous mis-spellngs.