Ladies and Gentlemen for once, and once only, I feel I must do a "Nanny" and give you all a wee warning (Nanny has been very remiss in not warning you herself) about the risk of using hotel provided condoms.
The subject came up in discussion yesterday with one of my colleagues who is currently travelling around Asia Pacific, and was amused to see that on top of his hotel mini bar were a couple of condoms.
Hotels have been offering these for years. During my regular visits to the Baltics, in the late 90's, I well remember the mini bars being stuffed to the gunnels with all manner of condoms (ribbed, flavoured, heavy duty etc) and oils etc.
Indeed I recall one hotel had a particularly excellent service whereby the ladies from the in house lingerie shop would come to your room and model the lingerie for you privately, so you could buy some for your wife/girlfriend...quite!
In fact the very Janet Reger bra and peek a boo thong that I am wearing, as I type this article, is a souvenir from those days....halcyon days!....but I digress!
The danger of hotel condoms relates to the fact that there is always some c**t who takes some perverse delight in sticking a pin through them, thus rendering them useless and dangerous.
In the cold light of day, the pin prick would of course be clearly visible. However, in the heat of passion (and having consumed the statutory British mating ritual quantity of 24 pints of lager) the pricks are not so visible to the knackered eye.
Therefore I tell you and warn you all, for goodness sake use your own condoms should you find yourself gripped by the ardour in a hotel!
That is all!
Nanny should have told you this already.
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
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