Nanny's Hi Vis Horse

Ladies and Gentlemen you are doubtless familiar with Nanny's penchant for shrouding everyone in hi vis attire, I now give you Nanny's hi vis horse!

Seemingly, in the wake of the horsegate scandal, Nanny is worried that we may not able to recognise a horse. The next time your munching your way through a ready made lasagne, and you come across a fragment of hi vis clothing you know that the product wasn't made of beef.

Still, the hi vis wear doubtless has other uses, let's face it without such attire it would be remarkably difficult to see the horse in the middle of the road!

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Nanny's Calorie Labels Are Bollocks

Ah how I chortled (there's a word I haven't used for a long time) to myself when I read about a wee bit of a problem with Nanny's calorie measures printed on food packs.

As loyal readers know, Nanny is obsessed with how much we eat and is very keen to remind us on a daily basis that we should not eat more than her prescribed daily calorie limit (2,500 for chaps and 2,000 for chapesses).

How do we know how many calories there are in our food?

Nanny has insisted for many years that manufacturers print the calorie content on food packs.

All fine and dandy..maybe.

However, it transpires that the calorie labels on our packs of horsemeat lasagne etc may not be entirely accurate.

Really?

Yes, for it seems that the calorie measures ignore the calorie content of fibre. Thus those of you who think that they are being very healthy in eating a "low calorie" bowl of Mueseli are in fact kidding yourselves, you are in fact eating an extra 250 calories per week without realising it.

Gosh!...snut snut:)

Ironically the calorie labels overstate the calorie content of protein by up to 20%. This means that we can all go out and eat 20% more steak, pork, chicken, horse etc.

Hoozah!

Oh, and by the way, cooking and processing food can alter calorie levels by up to 30% because we burn more energy digesting things which are hard and uncooked.

Clean Up On Aisle 5!

Oh dear, this will need to be cleaned up....

On the subject of Horsegate I saw an "expert" on Channel 4 News the other night arguing that this would not have happened if food were not so cheap; ie he was arguing that food prices should increase!

Utter bollocks!

The higher the price of meat, the greater the incentive to commit fraud by substituting cheap/illegal meat.

Clearly these Nannying "experts" have no understanding of human nature.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Fizzy Sugar Water and Shite Food

I see that Nanny's chums from the medical profession are yet again hyperventilating about the dangers to our health posed by fizzy sugared water and shite processed/fast food (sans horsemeat).

The good doctors want fizzy sugared water taxed, and adverts for shite food banned until after the watershed.

The Academy of Medical Royal Colleges, which represents nearly every doctor in the UK, is worried about the obesity epidemic and wants unhealthy foods to be treated in the same way as fags.

As I have warned many times before on this site Nanny, once she has dealt with the smokers and drinkers, will come after those who eat food that she deems to be "unhealthy".

Ermmmm...horsegate anyone (did Nanny herself not serve unhealthy food to our kids?)?

It is very well, and easy, to demonise advertising and the abundance of "cheap" food for the rise in obesity in this country. However, like it or not, people are not forced to eat shite; they eat it (horsegate aside) of their own free will.

I enjoy the occasional bucket of fried chicken and fries, washed down with copious amounts of Red Stripe. Once in a while, with a balanced diet, this does no harm. However, were I to eat that everyday I would become a fat unhealthy lard bucket.

I don't eat that every day for a number of reasons:

1 I don't want to.

2 I enjoy variety in my food intake.

3 I don't wish to become a lard bucket etc.

The doctors press their case on the basis that we don't seem to be able to control ourselves, well how is it that I and a good many other people can control ourselves and not gorge ourselves to death on shite?

The doctors also worry about the cost to the NHS of treating obese people. That is true, the costs of treating obesity are rising. However, were the obese people to be made slim and healthy tomorrow by a flip of Nanny's magic wand we can assume that they would live long lives into a demented, decaying old age. Thus transferring the cost of treating them from obesity to the long term care of elderly and demented.

Sorry to say it, but Nanny knows full well that the younger you die the less you cost the state.

The doctors are failing to look at the overall picture, namely that the demands on the NHS are simply too great for it to be able to bear in its current form; the NHS is like a balloon squeeze one end (eg tackle obesity) and another pops out (ie the cost of caring for the elderly).

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Won't Someone Think of The Children?

Nanny keeps bleating that she cares about kids, if that is the case why has she fed them horsemeat in "Cottage pies" (more accurately termed "Stable pies") in numerous schools around the country?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Back To The Future - The Horsemeat Scandal 1948

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries