Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Nanny's Troublesome Erection

Nanny's Troublesome ErectionDear old Nanny simply adores monuments, much like a pathetic third world dictator there is nothing she likes better than constructing a massive erection in a public place.

These erections serve a useful purpose, in her mind, of taking people's minds off the real issues in life and of reminding her humble charges as to her magnificence.

One such erection, specially commissioned by Nanny to staunch the media hysteria after the death of the Royal fashion icon, is the Diana Memorial Fountain.

You will recall that this £5M erection has had a few "health and safety" issues since it was commissioned.

It should therefore come as no surprise to hear that it has suffered yet another problem.

Tessa Jowell, Britain's "highly respected and financially transparent" culture secretary, has revealed that joints between the building blocks are showing hairline cracks because of subsidence.

This sorry excuse of an erection, which has now come to symbolise all the major failings of Nanny and her lackeys (cost overruns, badly thought out, unnecessary etc), will need further repairs to help it withstand the effects of weathering and subsidence.

Jowell has needless to say played down this latest problem, well she would wouldn't she?

She insists that the fountain is in no danger of falling down. The question is, would you trust a woman who claims that she knew nothing about the mortgage arrangements on her own home to be able to judge the structural integrity of an erection?

There is further good news for this costly fiasco, the inquiry by the public accounts committee, is expected to highlight a catalogue of errors with the project and lambast those responsible.

So far it has cost over £2M more than originally estimated.

Although there is no sign that the stone itself is breaking, cracks have appeared in the joints between some of the 545 blocks of Cornish granite.

Now if they had only used Italian marble, I am sure Nanny with her impeccable Italian connections could have found a good deal on a ship load!

Nanny clearly used cowboy builders and designers in this sorry little project, if she cannot even build a fountain why on earth should we trust her with more important and larger projects?

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:27 PM

    Ken,

    if you visit the Royal Parks Website, you will read that:

    "The fountain was built with the best materials, talent and technology. It contains 545 pieces of Cornish granite - each shaped by the latest computer-controlled machinery and pieced together using tradtional skills."

    hmmm... I have to agree that Nanny's erections are no longer um, "hard" enough to meet the rigours of our modern environment.

    Nelson's column - now thats an erection to be proud of!

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  2. "cracks have appeared in the joints between some of the 545 blocks of Cornish granite"

    As a Cornishman I can tell you that there is nothing whatsoever wrong with our Cornish granite, have skinned my knees on it many a time when a boy. The cracks are in the joints, the Cornish granite will be there for some thousands of years yet, which is a tad longer than Mrs Jowell!!!

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  3. Anonymous11:32 PM

    One has to wonder about the logic required to commission a water fountain, a likely leaky one at that, in an area with a water shortage potential.

    Must've been influenced by the Bar Steward.

    As for your letter Railwayman39, they would love that. Ever more opportunity for command and control. All staple stuff for Nanny.

    How about wrting to them and suggesting the thing is covered with earth and grassed and then re-classified as a time capsule site?

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