Row, Row, Row Your Boat - A Health and Safety Masterclass From The Police

pic.twitter.com/jbB1Q11F1r

— Chemically Unbalanced Memes 2™ (@CUMemesTwo) November 9, 2020

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

#JettyGate - The Monstrous Metallic Carbuncle in Queen's Park Brighton

 

Loyal readers may recall that I have written about the Queen's Park jetty in Brighton on a number of occasions, eg May 2020 I wrote the following:

"A jetty over Brighton Queen’s Park pond is set to open in March – almost a year late following health and safety delays.

The jetty was built in 2019 after park visitors were asked to choose how to spend money contributed by local developers – either to rework its quiet garden to open it up and deter drug users, or to create a dipping platform.

The platform project was chosen and the jetty was completed to the original designs by May – but a surprise inspection by the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents meant it has remained fenced off ever since.

A few weeks later the barriers were then unceremoniously thrown into the pond, and access to the jetty was restored. Then a fortnight ago I saw that the barriers had been re-erected, and restored to their position in front of the jetty blocking access. Two days later they were moved allowing access.

Great, common sense prevailed!

Sadly not, for this morning I see that one of the "safety" barriers has again been re-erected, and placed in front of the jetty blocking access (before and after pictures above)."

Here we are now in the latter part of September, and the 'Elf of Safety has exacted a terrible revenge on those who chucked the "safety" barriers into the lake.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you the monstrous carbuncle, which is a metallic blight on what was an attractive wooden jetty.

I would draw your attention to the gate, which has potential for a padlock to be added!

All this so that councillors can moor their super-yachts on the pond.

Here is #JettyGate The Movie, for your pleasure.

 
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Brighton Jetty Continues To Be Blocked For Health and Safety - #JettyGate

Loyal readers may recall that in January I wrote the following:

"A jetty over Brighton Queen’s Park pond is set to open in March – almost a year late following health and safety delays.

The jetty was built in 2019 after park visitors were asked to choose how to spend money contributed by local developers – either to rework its quiet garden to open it up and deter drug users, or to create a dipping platform.

The platform project was chosen and the jetty was completed to the original designs by May – but a surprise inspection by the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents meant it has remained fenced off ever since."

A few weeks later the barriers were then unceremoniously thrown into the pond, and access to the jetty was restored. Then a fortnight ago I saw that the barriers had been re-erected, and restored to their position in front of the jetty blocking access. Two days later they were moved allowing access.

Great, common sense prevailed!

Sadly not, for this morning I see that one of the "safety" barriers has again been re-erected, and placed in front of the jetty blocking access (before and after pictures above).

Just to remind you, this jetty was meant to open in March 2019!

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Before Health and Safety

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

The 'Elf of Safety Strikes Again In Queens Park Brighton

I see that the 'Elf of Safety Officer from Brighton council has erected (can I say erected before the watershed?) another set of "safety " barriers for the one year behind schedule Queens Park jetty.

Let us trust that they don't suffer the same fate as the last set of barriers, namely get thrown into the pond!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Brighton Queen's Park Jetty Delayed Over Health and Safety

A jetty over Brighton Queen’s Park pond is set to open in March – almost a year late following health and safety delays.

The jetty was built in 2019 after park visitors were asked to choose how to spend money contributed by local developers – either to rework its quiet garden to open it up and deter drug users, or to create a dipping platform.

The platform project was chosen and the jetty was completed to the original designs by May – but a surprise inspection by the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents meant it has remained fenced off ever since.

Brighton council decided that issues raised by the inspectors meant it needed extra work to make it safe for buggies and small children – and delays to that work meant it has stayed closed.

The work has yet to commence.

It beggars belief that the health and safety issues that apparently have caused these delays, were not identified and addressed at the planning and design stage.

It should also be noted that:

1 The RoSPA has no legal jurisdiction wrt health and safety issues.

2 The rest of the perimeter of the pond does not have any fencing or any devices to stop buggies rolling into it.

3 The temporary fencing (seen in the photo above) to stop people walking on it has fallen over, again!

4 The temporary fencing has now been thrown into the pond!

In other words the delay, and planned improvements (which have not yet started) are for nowt!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Auntie Trims Her Tree

The Telegraph reports that Auntie has got rid of her Christmas tree.

The tree stood at the door of New Broadcasting House for just one week before it was cut up and carted off.

For why?

Apparently it was a “security risk”.

Maybe Auntie could have just moved it instead?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Brighton Gets Things Arse About Face - 'Elf and Safety Strikes Again

In Brighton, seemingly, things are built before checking the health and safety requirements.

The lovely Queens Park has had a wooden jetty built by the side of the pond. The project started at the end of March this year, and was meant to be completed within five weeks.

Fast forward to today's date (mid July) and, as you can see, the project remains unfinished and boarded off. Completion expected end of August!

For why?

It seems that health and safety concerns have been raised by the Royal Society for The Prevention of Accidents, eg the need for child proof gate etc.

The need for gates etc may be all very well and necessary in this risk averse age (no doubt). However, to my simple mind, should these issues not have been raised during the design phase?


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Kudos To High Cotton Inc

My compliments to the good people of High Cotton Inc. for totally taking the piss out of health and safety warnings on products!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Salt More Dangerous Than Smoking

An analysis, in the Lancet, found that our daily diet is a bigger killer than smoking and is now involved in one in five deaths around the world.

Salt - whether in bread, soy sauce or processed meals - shortened the highest number of lives.

The Global Burden of Disease Study noted that too much salt resulted in three million deaths.

Maybe people should simply drink more water and exercise to build up a sweat, in order to naturally excrete any "excess" salt?

Nanny won't be happy until we are all eating dust!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny To Install Speed Limiters On All New Cars

Euro Nanny has decreed that all new cars sold in the UK and Europe are to be fitted with devices to automatically stop drivers from exceeding the speed limit under sweeping changes to vehicle safety rules provisionally agreed by the EU.

Although Britain may no longer be part of the EU when the rules come into effect, the UK regulator, the Vehicle Certification Agency, has said it will mirror safety standards for vehicles in the UK. Remind me again, why did we want to leave the EU?

Let us trust and assume that there are no software glitches/hacks that cause "unforeseen" problems!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

More "Scientific" Bollocks - Hot Tea Causes Cancer

Drinking very hot tea almost doubles the risk of cancer, a new study says https://t.co/K3YIZZDUfV

— CNN (@CNN) March 21, 2019

Here's why this is bollocks:

1 People don't drink very hot tea, they let it cool.

2 People (at least the Brits) add milk to tea.

3

excuse me? it raises your risk of *oesophageal* cancer, which is fairly rare. Drinking 3 cups of v hot tea a day raises avg risk from ≈0.06% a year to ≈0.1% a year, if I've read it right.

The thing that really raises your risk is getting older, so try not to do that https://t.co/ldtZgYEep5

— Tom Chivers (@TomChivers) March 21, 2019

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny May In Trouble - #MouldGate

NEW Theresa May's advice to eat mouldy jam could expose families to 'unseen toxins' says Food Standards Agency https://t.co/wv4pn2D310 via @Telegraph

— Christopher Hope (@christopherhope) February 13, 2019

Someone tell @theresa_may that she is wasting mould by scraping it off the jam. Here are some of the things she could do with it #JamGate #MouldGate

— Ken Frost (@ken_frost) February 13, 2019

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

We Are All Doomed!

“Nearly nine in 10 had at least one unhealthy trait.” I should hope so! https://t.co/2tMWUXtdEl

— Christopher Snowdon (@cjsnowdon) December 4, 2018

None of us will get out of here alive, and we all go to the devil in our own particular way!

Why can't Nanny simply accept that, and let us get on with enjoying what time we have left?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

People Drink More In Cold, Dark, Wet Countries - Who'd Have Thought It!

A study, published in the journal Hepatology, examined average temperatures and annual sunshine hours with alcohol consumption per capita in 193 countries.

Guess what?


It found that the level of binge drinking and the total number of drinkers went up in countries with lower temperatures and less sunshine hours.

Dr. Ramon Bataller, one of the authors of the study, told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

“Everybody assumed this, but nobody has demonstrated it.

The findings show us that in order to prevent alcohol abuse, resources should be focused more in cold places. People with a genetic predisposition to alcoholism should maybe avoid living in a very cold place as they will probably drink more.” 

So there you have it folks, Nanny will not only start lecturing those who live in miserable climates to drink less (thus making us even more miserable) but also try to persuade those she determines to be "high risk" to move.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Freakshakes

Oh dear I see another unelected group of busybodies, with too much time on their hands, has got their collective knickers in a twist over what some people choose to eat.

Step forward Action on Sugar, which is demanding a ban on freakshakes and all milkshakes with more than 300 calories. 

According to these tossers, the freakshakes contain "grotesque levels of sugar and calories".


The Toby Carvery Unicorn Freakshake came top of the survey with 39 teaspoons of sugar or 1,280 calories. The Toby Carvery Unicorn Freakshake is made with grape and raspberry flavoured ice cream, blackcurrant jelly pieces, milk, freshly whipped cream and topped with marshmallow, skittles and almond macaroon.

Here's my humble musings on this subject:

1 I don't have a sweet tooth, as such I don't usually eat desserts let alone milkshakes etc.

2 I wouldn't be seen dead eating this shit.

3 Irrespective of my personal food tastes, it is not my business to tell others what they may or may not eat. People can eat all the shit they like, so long as I am not forced to eat it.

4 It is not the role of the government, or unelected tossers, to dictate to us what we may/may not eat.

5 What is it, and this is a genuine question, that drives certain people to set up "action groups" whose sole purpose is to focus on one specific food/drink etc (eg sugar, salt) with a view to banning it? Why do these people feel they must dictate to the rest of us what we may or may not choose to eat?

Please feel free to answer point 5, as I really can't understand these tossers.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Meat Eaters Healthier Than Vegetarians

Oh dear, it seems that nanny's plans to tax meat (for the benefit of our health) may have just hit the buffers!

A study conducted by the Medical University of Graz in Austria found that the vegetarian diet, as characterised by a low consumption of saturated fat and cholesterol, due to a higher intake of fruits, vegetables and whole-grain products, appeared to carry elevated risks of cancer, allergies and mental health problems such as depression and anxiety.

“Our study has shown that Austrian adults who consume a vegetarian diet are less healthy (in terms of cancer, allergies, and mental health disorders), have a lower quality of life, and also require more medical treatment.”

You can rest assured that Nanny will ignore these findings, as facts are irrelevant to her.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prevention Is Better Than Cure

Nanny wants people need to take “greater responsibility" for taking the strain off the NHS, by taking the approach "prevention is better than cure".

Fair enough, that is a perfectly reasonable maxim.

However, Nanny believes that this will be achieved by people cutting down on how much they eat and drink.


Matt Hancock, who?..the Health Secretary, will apparently tell a health conference that taxpayers have a role to play in taking pressure off the National Health Service by focusing on the prevention rather than the cure.

Nanny intends to focus on stopping unhealthy lifestyles.

Yes, the word "stop" is being used. So much for people "taking responsibility"!

Public Health England will examine how to target health advice at people living in areas with there is a higher preponderance of "unhealthy lifestyles".

Nanny intends to look at "harnessing digital technology" as a form of "predictive prevention" to target people in regions prone to poor diet and bad drinking habits. In other words non middle class areas.

The Telegraph reports that Hancock will say:

“It’s about people choosing to look after themselves better, staying active and stopping smoking. Making better choices by limiting alcohol, sugar, salt and fat.

But focusing on the responsibilities of patients, isn’t about penalising people.

It’s about helping them make better choices, giving them the all the support we can, because we know taking the tough decisions is never easy.”

It sounds to me as though it will be a case of penalising people and telling them what to eat drink, and smoke!

Public Health England will bring together and coordinate a range of experts to build, evaluate and model predictive prevention at scale.

Duncan Selbie, chief executive of Public Health England, said:

"We need to move from a system that detects and treats illnesses to one that also predicts and prevents poor health through promoting health in all policies and puts people back in charge of their own health."

I have a few observations:

1 This will not put people back in charge of their own health, it will be used by Nanny to dictate to people what they may eat, drink and smoke etc.

2 Nanny has her sums wrong, whilst it costs an inordinate amount of money to treat people for obesity, booze, drugs etc.; it costs even more to keep people alive in their old age treating dementia etc etc.

3 Who the hell wants to live longer, only to end up in one of Nanny's homes for the elderly?

4 Given that the NHS is free, people are incentivised to take advantage of it. Until you start charging people for missed appointments, lost equipment etc you will never get people to act responsibly.

5 What exactly constitutes a "healthy lifestyle"?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Hates The Working Class

This is basically "UK's most working-class High Streets" https://t.co/j5xffEglzu

— Pub Curmudgeon 🍻 (@oldmudgie) November 2, 2018

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

BMI Is Bollocks!

Excessively high or low body mass index measurements have been linked to an increased risk of dying from nearly every major cause except transport accidents, new research says.

The study, published Wednesday in The Lancet Diabetes and Endocrinology and conducted by scientists at London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, revealed that BMI that's either too high or too low is tied to increased morbidity from a range of major diseases. 

 

Whilst it is no doubt true that if you are obese or anorexic you may well not be in the best of health, to use BMI as a measure of obesity or anorexia is bollocks.

 

There are far better ways to determine if someone is obese/anorexic eg:

 

- commonsense

- gut size

- bones poking through the skin etc

 

Relying on BMI will lead to false results!

 

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries