Nanny Bans Tartan Army

In the last couple of days I have written about Nanny banning all things English, and attributed this in part to her hatred of the English.

How wrong I was, evidently she is just as anti Scots as she is anti English.

Nanny's chums in the Commission for Racial Equality (CRE), the body that ensures that we all live in harmony with each other (just like the old Coke advert of the 1960's), have started to fret about the effects that the World Cup (I believe it starts tomorrow) will have on the Scottish persona.

Seemingly Nanny is worried that the Scots will offend their neighbours in the South, during this forthcoming "bung fest", by being a tad anti English.

Evidently the CRE (Scotland branch-isn't that racist in itself?) has received complaints about perceived anti-English sentiment in the last fortnight or so. Nanny won't stand for that, and issued a proclamation through the CRE:

"Scotland's public figures need to ensure [the World Cup] remains a force for integration, rather than a cause of division."

That's all very well, but in case Nanny hasn't realised it yet, the "bung fest" is in fact entirely based on stoking up nationalism and patriotism; that's why teams are divided into countries!

Whilst dick headed comments from so called "leaders" of the Scots, such as Jack McConnell (First Minister) who said that he would not be supporting England, can hardly be called bright; it is hardly a matter for the CRE, let Neanderthals such as McConnell dig their own political graves by allowing them to expose their childlike immaturity and bigotry to a wider audience.

The CRE, by making an issue out of it, will merely ensure that the "piss" is well and truly taken out of the English now. After all, why on earth should we give a toss about what a "bung fest" supporter shouts when he is drunk?

Ali Jarvis, a CRE director, said:

"Racism occurs when any person is stereotyped, harassed or discriminated against on the basis of their colour,

race,

ethnic or national identity.

Using the World Cup as a pretext for hostility against any nation or race,

including the English, is racism."

Herein lies Nanny's problem, she doesn't understand football. It's purpose is not to unite people, but to divide them along tribal lines; in effect, it is war by another means. Were Nanny to really understand the nature of the game, she would ban it.

Notwithstanding the sheer brilliance of the logic of my argument, Nanny will of course ignore me. The CRE is already getting into a bit of a funk over two complaints that it received, one from an Englishman living in Scotland over the sale of "anyone but England" T-shirts.

The other was from a Scot who objected to a newspaper article in which a shopkeeper spoke of selling out of Trinidad strips from Scots, "out of pure hatred for the English team". Trinidad and Tobago play England on 15 June.

Ms Jarvis added:

"We've been monitoring exchanges in the media (Ken says-good grief has it come to this!)

and noticed an anti-English tone to some of the views expressed,

for example in the letters pages.

In one newspaper, someone wrote on Monday that they were not supporting England.

By the middle of the week,

someone else wrote in to say all English should leave

and they were a scourge on Scotland."

Grow up, get a life, and let the children play at war. Sensible adults with well balanced lives should simply ignore this, so what if people wear these shirts?

I lived in Edinburgh for four years, as a student, and had a great time. There were occasions when I encountered anti English sentiment, but so what?

People can be jerks, it is as simple as that; no amount of interference from Nanny will change that.

Incidentally, my favourite anti English joke (note: I am English) from those days goes as follows (best enjoyed when read in a Scottish accent, preferably West coast):

When God created Britain, he took all the perverts, child molesters, deviants and other bastards sent them down South and called them the English!

Meanwhile one Englishwoman has claimed that she was unable to buy an England football top in an Inverness store, because staff told her that stocking such an item would have "offended the public".

David MacDougall, Tartan Army spokesman, summed it up rather well:

"I think in this day and age we might be a bit too sensitive.

People should take this in the spirit in which it's intended

just light-hearted banter and a bit of craic."

Nanny, get a life!