Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Prats of The Week - Croydon Council

PratsWell, well, well it has been more than a wee while since I awarded my world renowned and coveted "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the good old boys of Croydon Council, where I used to live.

For why?

Well my old muckers, there are so many reasons.

One of them being that despite being told very clearly and regularly over a number of years that their "plans" for redeveloping Park Place wouldn't work, the council carried on regardless and tore the heart out of the centre of Croydon.

Can you guess ewhat happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the council's plans collapsed and they have left Croydon with a blighted centre.

Will they apologise?

Will they fark!

Anyhoo, as much as they deserve the award for that, I am in fact giving them the award for something else.

Our "good old friend" health and safety is the root cause of this award.

Over the last ten years or so, community groups have been allowed to use the mayor's reception rooms at the town hall for meetings etc.

However, all of this has come to an end as the council and new Mayor of Croydon (Councillor Margaret Mead) have decided that so many meetings there must be wearing out the carpet.

Needless to say, the council invoked health and safety and said that that further meetings will cause the carpet to fray, thus presenting a future trip hazard.

You will note that at the moment there is no such fraying, but merely a thought to the future where such a risk might occur. Thus all meetings of non council groups have been banned, on the basis of a perceived future risk that has yet to occur.

I guess, in the event that it does fray, the carpet could be replaced. However, this council cares about wasting taxpayers' money and only wishes to waste millions (rather than thousands) as per its failed Park Place development scheme.

Croydon Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

FYI, it is a Tory council.

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think:

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Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

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  1. Ken,

    Is this a new development for 'Elf'n'Safety then; a risk that isn't there now but may be in the future?....That must open up opportunities for even more 'Elf'n'Safety officers and a whole host of new regulations.

    The problem Conservative councils have is this; The "officers" employed by the council are often left wingers and often appear to me to have a "common purpose" to make the council look silly....The Conservative councillors need to get a grip on their employees and reign them in.
    My own local council are Conservative and even they use a socialist leaning, management training organisation. I am looking forward to meeting my local councillor when he knocks on my door regarding the local elections, I will raise the question as to why my rip off tax is being used to fund such an organisation.

    Croydon Council well deserving Prats of the Week.

  2. IvanTheHorrible12:28 PM

    Well you don't want to have the Great Unwashed dirtying up Her Worships carpet, do you?

  3. concil carpet access coordinater12:52 PM

    This is a deeply carpetphobic post. As carpet thread coordinator, ensuring equal access to all sectors of the community, regardless of wear to council carpet threads (salary £96.789 per annum) It is my duty to ensure that carpets are accessed by all.

    Special provision is made for those wishing to bow down on said carpets five times a day under which circumstances everyone else is banned from using them.

  4. Speenzman5:14 PM

    "Dear Speenzman, congratulations on your contributary purchase of a brand new carpet. Nobody told you that you were contributing to buying a carpet but you have. We would like to take this opportunity to remind you that, even though you paid in part for this carpet you are not entitled to walk on it. Ever. Unless you become a local councillor."

    I thought if you were responsible for contributing to the purchase of something that you would be entitled to make use of it at times. Otherwise you're just buying things for other people. Or rather having them buy things using your money. Oh, well that's OK then, nothing wrong with that at all really, just so long as we know...

    While we're on the subject of potential future risk I would like to point out that this country is at future risk of going to the dogs even more if the present government remain in power. If this happens we are in potential danger of one day becoming a third world country with mass unemployment, mass poverty and huge health epidemics (real ones, not swine flu). Can I therefore suggest that, to eliminate this risk, they ban themselves on health and safety grounds and leave office tomorrow.

    Oh yes and health and safety, I mean one day they're going to invent a non-risk so petty that someone really does burst a blood vessel either from laughing themselves stupid or seething with rage, therefore overzealous, stupid health and safety will kill someone eventually so better ban that as well.

  5. When Queen Victoria asked the Duke of Wellington what to do about pigeons flying around inside the Crystal Palace, his advice was "Sparrowhawks, Ma'am".

    My advive to the Mayor of Croydon is "Druggets, Ma'am".