Yesterday the Frost residence, along with households across the country, received Nanny's Swine Flu leaflet.
Cue a roll on the drums!
Dear oh dear what a waste of time, effort and our money!
I have scan read it, and am far from impressed. Here are a few thoughts as to why it is bollocks:
1 It has clearly been written by a committee of "fearful" risk averse people, determined not to let any potential issue go unmentioned.
2 At ten pages it is too long, and won't be read by those who may well actually need to be told to wash their hands and catch their sneezes in their handkerchiefs.
3 The salient points, about symptoms and washing hands etc, don't appear until page six and onwards. Most people will have given up by page two. The salient points must appear on page one!
4 It directs the reader to a number of websites depending on geographical location (England, wales and Northern Ireland each have two). Not only is this confusing, it is quite unnecessary and a duplication of resources. Why not have a one simple one page website that lists symptoms, preventions and what to do?
5 Page four is a self congratulatory advert for Nanny, telling us that she has enough stocks of Tamiflu and Relenza for 50% of the UK. All very well, but the reality is that 50% is the combined holding of Tamiflu and Relenza; Tamiflu will be the first line of defence, if that doesn't work then Relenza is used.
6 Page two says that no one has immunity.
Complete bollocks!
Genetically speaking there will always be individuals who are resistant to new diseases, whatever they may be. Scaremongering of the worst sort!
7 Page ten offers the leaflet in Welsh. Given that this is a supposed "public health emergency", wasting time and money on producing leaflets, as a pc sop, for people who speak English perfectly well is absolutely scandalous.
In a real crisis all such pc pretensions would be thrown out of the window, and those who came up with such nonsense taken out and shot.
8 In the event that Swine Flu is here to stay, then the likely peak will be in winter. Nanny, by going into overdrive now, has lessened the effectiveness of any campaign that she may have to mount in winter if, and it is a big IF, Swine Flu takes a foothold in winter.
9 This is simply a self serving exercise by Nanny to show that she is busy, and to take our minds off other issues.
A pox upon the leaflet, and upon Nanny!
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Don't Panic...Don't Panic!!! This seems to be the message that Nanny is putting out which of course makes everyone panic.
ReplyDeleteI notice that her TV advert is very PC.
The white middle aged man goes into the lift...He sneezes spraying germs evrywhere....The poor black man touches the germs that the nasty white male has sprayed everywhere and he passes it on to the poor child who then of course corrects the nasty white man by giving him the hanky....How very PC and typical of Nanny's distorted vision of reality!!
Welsh? Why is no version available in Ulster-Scots?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ulsterscotsagency.com/
"1 It has clearly been written by a committee of "fearful" risk averse people, determined not to let any potential issue go unmentioned."
ReplyDeleteWhen has a committee ever achieved anything?
4 It directs the reader to a number of websites depending on geographical location (England, wales and Northern Ireland each have two). Not only is this confusing, it is quite unnecessary and a duplication of resources. Why not have a one simple one page website that lists symptoms, preventions and what to do?
And what about those who do not have access to or do not understand computers? Presumably they are expected to roll over and die quietly and quickly, preferably without being a nuisance?
5 Page four is a self congratulatory advert for Nanny, telling us that she has enough stocks of Tamiflu and Relenza for 50% of the UK.
What about the other 50%? I 'll wager that Nanny and her minions will be first in line for any cure/antidote, and that the riff-raff, sorry, ordinary people will be left to their own resources!
9 This is simply a self serving exercise by Nanny to show that she is busy, and to take our minds off other issues.
Liket ministers and MPs submitting questionable expenses claims, or the government's APPALLING treatment of the Ghurkas, to name but two?
We don't need to be told that Nanny is busy - she is all over the airwaves backtracking on her ludicous expenses claims for second, third and fourth homes and assuring us that they were all "in accordance with the rules".
ReplyDeleteI hope the leaflet will be distributed in appropriate languages to non-English (or Welsh) speaking "Asian British" and East European migrants. Oh, I forgot, the ones who don't eat pork won't need it of course.
Swine flu is a tempest in a teapot, as was bird flu, SARS, etc. The governments, yours, mine (US) and others, have stockpiled most of the available anivirals, so we will have no choice but to be reliant upon the government if a true pandemic does appear. Maybe thats how the UK govt will get their famous (infamous?) DNA data bases full. "Here's your tamiflu dearie, but first, how about a little cheek swab."
ReplyDeleteDebbie
You're wrong to think that all Welsh speakers are fluent in English. Where I live in Gwynnedd I often meet (usually elderly) people who speak little English. It's not strange: their work, family, social life and TV (S4C) is in Welsh and the only English they meet is in shops. All leaflets in Wales are bilingual. I chose to learn Welsh and joined the 650,000 people who speak it in the UK.
ReplyDeleteHaving had the privilege of attending university in Aberystwyth (1986-89) I can endorse the statement by Paul Dicken regarding the speaking of Welsh as a first language by many people in north and west Wales.
ReplyDeleteI have not yet received my life-saving booklet. I think I am about to sneeze. Help! If Nanny's instructions don't arrive soon it may be too late to save me from a fate worse than Swine Flu.
ReplyDeleteOur postie (who is very reliable) must have gone down with it and be of on a sickie as we haven't had ours. Anon in S.Glos.
ReplyDeleteI found this wonderful site through a link in an American humor newsletter that I receive. It's terrific and re-enforces the links between G.B. and the U.S.
ReplyDeleteYes, we've got our own "nannies" here, too. But, so far, we haven't had to identify ourselves to purchase spoons.
Where I live (in the American Southwest) we call this flu the Mexican Flu.
No, not exercising discrimination, but pointedly saying how it entered the U.S. Makes sense, like Asian Flu did a few years back. But our nanny doesn't want us to know about the disease origin here, so they are now "politically correct" by blaming pigs. (They can't complain to American politicians.) Well, not the real porkers, anyway.
All of which only ties the thinkers in G.B. to the thinkers in the U.S.
Welcome aboard.
My wife has had a cold in the past week. Oh dear, she must have this dreadful deadly disease. The most sensible comments I have read about this is from the 12 yr old girl who said that it was just like any other bad cold.
ReplyDeleteTo Paul Dicken and Lord of Atlantis. Ok so a tiny minority of people dont have English as a first language. But the point is is that English is not only the official language of the UK but is the unofficial world language. I have been to North and Mid-Wales and yes they have spoken Welsh to each other, but everyone spoke to me in perfectly good English. If they want to print this useless leaflet in Welsh, why didnt the Welsh Assembly pay for it instead of the rest of us?
Anon of S Glos.....I am in North Glos and we haven't had ours either!
I live in Gwynedd and I've never met anyone who cannot speak perfectly good English - usually better than the norm in some English cities. No doubt there will be some who can't read English, but then there will be some pure English speakers that can't either.
ReplyDeleteMoreover, I've never seen anything to contradict my grandmother, Edith Jones, who held the view that the Welsh language is a trap to keep the Welsh subservient and stuck in poorly paying jobs. Parts of Wales that are largely English speaking in normal conversation (however many people speak Welsh as a hobby) have been doing well, while the Welsh-speaking north-west is largely ignored and was still in the economic doldrums even before the latest recession.
I do not know what the figures are in the UK, but in North America the common garden variety of winter flu has killed some 700 people in the last year. In comparison swine flue seems benign
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the blog and what it drives towards fixing, but just leave out the old "Welsh is bollocks" angle if you would.
ReplyDeleteIt's been done by the English (and some Welsh) for over a hundred years. It distracts from your message, and alienates people who would otherwise be supportive.
With no apologies for the Welsh:
Cymraeg yw fy iaith i, ac rwy' lawer yn fwy cyfforddus yn ei darllen ac yn ymateb yn wahanol iddi nac ydw i i'r Saesneg.
Ken said...
ReplyDelete"Are you saying My Lord that they cannot understand English?"
No, I am not saying that, as most of them can speak both languages. However, there are some who cannot read the language, although, with the high standards of education provided in state schools, it may well be argued that many of the younger generation of English would find such a task difficult!
I do agree with Catmoves, however, as I can see no plausible reason why the Welsh Assembly, rather than the British government, should not pay for it.
Gareth
ReplyDeleteThere is no "Welsh is bollocks angle" in this article.
However, I resent paying money for translating leaflets for people who can read/speak English perfectly well.
Ken
"Cymraeg yw fy iaith i, ac rwy' lawer yn fwy cyfforddus yn ei darllen ac yn ymateb yn wahanol iddi nac ydw i i'r Saesneg."
ReplyDelete.... and thanks to the power of the internet, this translates to ...
"Welsh is me language I , and rwy' much morely comfortable crookedly you go read and answering differently to nor I am being I I ' group English"
Thought so! Clear as mud! Useless this bloody internet thing! I'm going to make a bacon sandwich.
Yes please! That is the most sensible suggestion that I have heard all day!
ReplyDeleteYou'll have to excuse me, Ken - but that *is* a Welsh is bollocks angle as far as being a Welsh speaker is concerned. It's the argument I've come across since being born. Am I supposed to accept the fact that in Wales, I can't get my Government to talk to me in my admittedly minority, yet indigenous language?
ReplyDelete"However, I resent paying money for translating leaflets for people who can read/speak English perfectly well."
I guess I resent people with no understanding of my language and culture telling me I'm a fool for wasting money.
Government waste is a fine thing to be targetting, but targetting something people actually want (and had to force the government to give) is kind of missing the point.
Gareth
ReplyDeleteGiven that you can understand the leaflet in English, why would you need and how can you justify the cost (coming out of my taxes, as well as yours) to print another version in Welsh?
Thanks
Ken
Ken,
ReplyDeleteDespite what's been written in other comments, not all Welsh people can read English to the same comprehension level as they can speak. In addition, not all Welsh people are used to common English terminology - due to living their lives mostly through the medium of Welsh (soemthing I happen to do, despite living in the centre of Cardiff).
Case in point: Welsh farmers in Mid-Wales lost out on subsidies when not enough Welsh language forms were printed for the area. They didn't understand the technical English terms, and so couldn't use the English forms that were still available. They therefore missed the deadline.
Ref: "BIHR Report 'The Human Rights Act - Changing Lives'" - http://www.wlga.gov.uk/download.php?id=1289&l=1 (page8).
This is a case where not providing a translation actually cost money for individuals.
I can empathise with your desire to stop government waste.
I can't understand, however, your objection in the face of evidence that shows that translations make real difference.
I hope this clarifies my arguments that aim to show that there is a difference between wasteful Government spending, and Government spending by popular demand (in this case from Wales).
What you deem wasteful is absolutely your perogative, and makes for an entertaining read. I'm just trying to see if I can bend your ear on this small issue.
I have to confess this'll be my last post on this subject as I think I've spent quite enough time here already. Thanks for the discussion Ken, glad to see you've been up for a chat.
Gareth
No worries Gareth:)
ReplyDeletebest regards
Ken
Must admit I kind of have a theory about this swine flu bollocks which revolves around deliberate release into the environment in an attempt to scare the population, reduce it to a more manageable size (give it 12 months and maybe we'll see a more deadly strain... hmmm), isolate populations into the large centres and restrict civilian movement.
ReplyDeleteIt all smacks of the lead up to 1984...
I think you've been staying up too late Tom. Have a rest.
ReplyDeleteand for archroy, an Ulster-Scots version....
Sure, yur heads cut man. You'll be having a wee lie-dun I trust.
And for the welsh....
Dybia 'ch ve been yn aros i fyny hefyd 'n ddiweddar Twm. Ca gorffwys.
Having tested the translator earlier, I'm sure that makes perfect sense.
For the record, the bacon sandwich was delightful.