Ooh Err Missus!
Here's a saucy headline to start your week with....Nanny has banned heavy balls??? I hear you ejaculate (can I say "ejaculate" on a Monday morning?).
Surely not???
It is in fact true.
Just ask the hapless pupils at Malvern Primary School in Huyton, who have been banned from using synthetic/leather footballs in the playground.
For why?
Cos, my loyal readers, the balls are deemed by Nanny to be "too heavy" and the allegedly "feeble" and "weak" children of Huyton (in Liverpool) may injure themselves.
I assume then that cricket balls are most assuredly banned there as well?
Fear not though, the dim wits who came up with this daft ban have a solution.
Foam balls!
Yes, you did read that correctly, FOAM BALLS!
Is it any wonder kids sniff glue/fire extinguishers and get into bother, given that every aspect/freedom/joy of their lives is being regulated/monitored/destroyed by Nanny?
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
Only surprising thing is - they didn't 'ban' running around as well?
ReplyDeleteQ - Why DO schools like to ban things? A - Because they can.
Mjolinir;
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point; Nanny loves to ban, tax or regulate everything.
I can remember getting hit full in the face by an old leather football one very cold wet morning. The ball was very heavy and my face was very cold, it stung like hell but, a good lesson came out of it for me; don't put your face in front of a wet, hard leather football that is coming towards you quickly.....To this day, I have never put my face in front of a hard football again.
I don't know why Nanny doesn't just wrap kids up in cotton wool and never let them out; for their own safety of course actually, she already does; kids seldom go out on their own because Nanny has made the kid's useless parents believe there are paedos waiting on every street corner and behind every tree.
It must be a sad life growing up as a child in today's world of Nanny.
Just laugh at hi-viz.
I couldn't believe this when I read about this nonsense in the paper. Apart from the absurdity of such a policy, how are potential future football players for our national teams supposed to develop and hone their skills? No wonder these teams haven't won any major trophy for years!
ReplyDelete@Mjolinir, I think that you will find that some schools have indeed banned running about in the playground.
ReplyDeleteI heard this nonsense about foam balls on the radio last week; it got roundly slagged off by the listeners especially when it was revealed that some famous Liverpool FC player went to that very school.
Or er missus, heavy wet leather balls this must be some kind of homopohobic/sexist statement here I shall be contacting yuman rights lawyer Cherie Blair who will doubtless take the case up for free because she only cares about justice for downtrodden minorities and jihadists who wish to blow commuters sky high on public transport.
ReplyDelete