Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Nanny Bans Heavy Balls

Buster Gonad
Ooh Err Missus!

Here's a saucy headline to start your week with....Nanny has banned heavy balls??? I hear you ejaculate (can I say "ejaculate" on a Monday morning?).

Surely not???

It is in fact true.

Just ask the hapless pupils at Malvern Primary School in Huyton, who have been banned from using synthetic/leather footballs in the playground.

For why?

Cos, my loyal readers, the balls are deemed by Nanny to be "too heavy" and the allegedly "feeble" and "weak" children of Huyton (in Liverpool) may injure themselves.

I assume then that cricket balls are most assuredly banned there as well?

Fear not though, the dim wits who came up with this daft ban have a solution.

Foam balls!

Yes, you did read that correctly, FOAM BALLS!

Is it any wonder kids sniff glue/fire extinguishers and get into bother, given that every aspect/freedom/joy of their lives is being regulated/monitored/destroyed by Nanny?

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  1. Mjolinir10:45 AM

    Only surprising thing is - they didn't 'ban' running around as well?

    Q - Why DO schools like to ban things? A - Because they can.

  2. Mjolinir;

    You make a good point; Nanny loves to ban, tax or regulate everything.

    I can remember getting hit full in the face by an old leather football one very cold wet morning. The ball was very heavy and my face was very cold, it stung like hell but, a good lesson came out of it for me; don't put your face in front of a wet, hard leather football that is coming towards you quickly.....To this day, I have never put my face in front of a hard football again.

    I don't know why Nanny doesn't just wrap kids up in cotton wool and never let them out; for their own safety of course actually, she already does; kids seldom go out on their own because Nanny has made the kid's useless parents believe there are paedos waiting on every street corner and behind every tree.
    It must be a sad life growing up as a child in today's world of Nanny.

    Just laugh at hi-viz.

  3. Lord of Atlantis11:45 AM

    I couldn't believe this when I read about this nonsense in the paper. Apart from the absurdity of such a policy, how are potential future football players for our national teams supposed to develop and hone their skills? No wonder these teams haven't won any major trophy for years!

  4. @Mjolinir, I think that you will find that some schools have indeed banned running about in the playground.

    I heard this nonsense about foam balls on the radio last week; it got roundly slagged off by the listeners especially when it was revealed that some famous Liverpool FC player went to that very school.

  5. Number 69:56 AM

    Or er missus, heavy wet leather balls this must be some kind of homopohobic/sexist statement here I shall be contacting yuman rights lawyer Cherie Blair who will doubtless take the case up for free because she only cares about justice for downtrodden minorities and jihadists who wish to blow commuters sky high on public transport.