Ooh Err Missus!
Here's a saucy headline to start your week with....Nanny has banned heavy balls??? I hear you ejaculate (can I say "ejaculate" on a Monday morning?).
It is in fact true.
Just ask the hapless pupils at Malvern Primary School in Huyton, who have been banned from using synthetic/leather footballs in the playground.
Cos, my loyal readers, the balls are deemed by Nanny to be "too heavy" and the allegedly "feeble" and "weak" children of Huyton (in Liverpool) may injure themselves.
I assume then that cricket balls are most assuredly banned there as well?
Fear not though, the dim wits who came up with this daft ban have a solution.
Yes, you did read that correctly, FOAM BALLS!
Is it any wonder kids sniff glue/fire extinguishers and get into bother, given that every aspect/freedom/joy of their lives is being regulated/monitored/destroyed by Nanny?
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts