The birds are tweeting (who would have thought that a bird could use a computer?), and I feel of good cheer.
Therefore what better time to award my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award?
This week it goes to the health and safety team at Chiswick Business Park.
They are to be congratulated for the assistance that they gave to a fitness instructor who was planning to hold classes there.
Nanny requires that those who run such classes first take account of the potential health and safety issues, and submit a list of potential hazards.
Having come up with not many hazards, the instructor was "helped" by the health and safety team who provided her with a list which included a number of amusing risks:
- the danger of collision with low flying wildlife (ie geese)
- the dangers of trees with low hanging branches
- lampposts
- benches
- low light areas
- water features
Oddly, for a box ticking exercise, the list excluded the risk of earthquakes, being hit by frozen piss extruded from aircraft, being struck by lightning and being hit by a meteorite.
Anyhoo here's to the health and safety team at Chiswick Business Park, well deserving Prats of The Week!
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
The problem with 'elf'n'safety officers(sic) is that they have to justify their role and their salaries....This they do with ever more stupid "perceived" risks....When ever I hear, or read something from Nanny's "officers," I always hear in my mind a song by Alan Jackson, the first line of the chorus being; "But here in the real world."
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many people have been hit by low flying geese in Chiswick; not many I suspect.
I remember as a young lad on Wanstead Flats in East London being surrounded by geese when I opened a bag of bread crumbs near to them....Another life lesson learnt though; If you are only two and a half feet tall, avoid opening food that geese like when you're close to them.
Frozen piss? That made my day!
ReplyDelete"The birds are tweeting (who would have thought that a bird could use a computer?), and I feel of good cheer."
ReplyDeleteActually, I know a lot of birds that can use computers, Ken!
Tonk said: "I remember as a young lad on Wanstead Flats in East London being surrounded by geese when I opened a bag of bread crumbs near to them....Another life lesson learnt though; If you are only two and a half feet tall, avoid opening food that geese like when you're close to them."
Presumably you handed the bread over to them, otherwise your goose would have been well and truly cooked! (groan).
Seriously though, this is typical of the kind of thinking displayed by elf'n'safety 'professionals'. I often wonder where they find these people.
"Frozen piss? That made my day!"
ReplyDeleteMakes a change from boiling piss....
I was nearly hit by a low flying baby Great Tit the other day, when the mother encouraged them out of the nest rather sooner than was wise... I spent the rest of the day scooping it out from behind the shed, when it repeatedly failed to gain sufficient height!
Maybe I should report myself to the local council?
"Oddly, for a box ticking exercise, the list excluded the risk of earthquakes, being hit by frozen piss extruded from aircraft"
ReplyDeleteActually in Chiswick and other places on the Heathrow flypath this is not altogether an impossibility! However a decent tin-helmet shoul be sufficient protection.
(The frozen piss that is, not the earthquakes!)
having used the business park at weekends for children learning to ride bikes ( a perfect near level soft landing surface), i was shocked last weekend to be told that roller skates and skateboards were not permitted...7 days a week.
ReplyDeletebikes and scooters are ok..... they have the motto "enjoy work" and play, but obviously don't enjoy yourself too much or the security guard will have to stop the fun. ( admittedly the guy asking me to leave couldn't quite see the point of it either, and had to laugh at the situation