Booze Matters - Nanny's Bollocks Statistics

FFS won't that old witch Nanny give it a rest with her incessant carping about our drinking habits?

I almost choked on my morning vodka today, when I read that Nanny is now getting her knickers in a twist over the fact that there is a dichotomy between reported booze sales and what we tell Nanny we actually drink.

Shock horror probe!

"Research" published today by the European Journal of Public Health purports to show that England is a nation of secret boozers, with over 33% of the population drinking unhealthy quantities of alcohol.

Seemingly, if the "research" is to be believed self-reported alcohol consumption accounts for between 40% and 60% of sales.

Now why would this be?

Well here's a couple of obvious points:

1 We don't drink everything we buy as soon as we buy it; eg people lay down wines and stock up on beer etc for future consumption. I, for instance, buy 96 cans of Red Stripe at a time in order to get a good deal on the price; that doesn't mean to say that I down them all in one evening!

2 Who the fark in their right mind would ever tell Nanny about their private lives eg drink habits? Of course those statistics are wrong.

Anyhoo, irrespective of those two obvious flaws in Nanny's "research", Nanny has drawn the conclusion (based on dodgy "research") that 44% of men and 31% of women in England are drinking more than the Royal College of Physicians' safety guidelines for weekly alcohol consumption.

Yawn, well as loyal readers know guidelines are merely that "guidelines" for the "average" person (whoever he/she is), and are not meant to be rigid rules enforceable by law etc.

Sadly of course Nanny doesn't see it that way.

Lead researcher Sadie Boniface, from University College London, is quoted by the Independent:

"Currently we don't know who consumes almost half of all the alcohol sold in England. This study was conducted to show what alcohol consumption would look like when all of what is sold is accounted for, if everyone under-reported equally.

The results are putative, but they show that this gap between what is seen in the surveys and sales potentially has enormous implications for public health in England."

In other words the "research" has been a farking waste of time, money and effort!

Oh, and for good measure, the statistics used are out of date; Boniface used "self reported stats" from 2008.

We can safely conclude that the whole thing is complete and utter bollocks!

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