Nanny Warns "Keep Your Hand On Your Stick"

Commiserations to Nkosana Mdikane, 74, "Scotland's happiest lollipop man" (due to his singing and dancing at work) who has been banned by Nanny's chums from West Dunbartonshire Council from high fiving kids.

For why?

Health and safety!

West Dunbartonshire Council are quoted by the BBC:

"All patrollers are instructed when crossing children over a road to remain static with one hand on their stick and the other stretched outwards. This ensures that they can be seen and effectively provides a barrier between school pupils and the traffic." 

Read that again...

"...one hand on their stick..."

Ooer missus!

A parent speaking to the BBC Scotland news website said:

"Because our children want to go and see him [Nkosana Mdikane] they all cross at the pedestrian crossing, rather than anywhere else on the road, so he's keeping our children safe. 

Also because he's such a 'larger than life' character the cars pay more attention too."

There is also a Facebook group named "Save the high fives", which has gained support from almost 3,000 people since it was set up on Wednesday afternoon.

Nanny doesn't have any commonsense, and wants to crush individuality!

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Religion Is Bollocks

As per the Telegraph a YouGov poll of Muslim students in the UK, conducted for the Centre for Social Cohesion, at 12 universities, including Imperial College and Kings College London found:

• 40 per cent support the introduction of sharia into British law for Muslims

• a third back the notion of a worldwide Islamic caliphate (state) based on sharia law

• 40 per feel it is unacceptable for Muslim men and women to mix freely

• 24 per cent do not think men and women are equal in the eyes of Allah

• a quarter have little or no respect for homosexuals.

Although 53 per cent said that killing in the name of religion was never justified, compared with 94 per cent of non-Muslims, 32 per cent said that it was.

Of these, 4 per cent said killing could be justified to "promote or preserve" religion, while 28 per cent said it was acceptable if that religion were under attack.

Were god to actually exist, he/she would have none of this nonsense and would recognise that religion (in whatever shape or form it takes) has caused and continues to cause misery and conflict throughout the world.
 

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Prats of The Millennium

Emma Thompson 'won't pay a penny of tax' says her husband http://t.co/Xcn1KPZIcp via @mcdonnellandco // the moral hazard created by #HSBC

— Rita de la Feria (@delaFeriaR) February 25, 2015

Tax evasion, the "luvvie" way!

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Big Barbie

Hot on the heels of SmartTV's that listen to what you say, comes Hello Barbie that listens in on your childrens' conversations!

Mattel has unveiled a high-tech Barbie that will listen to your child, record its words, send them over the internet for processing, and talk back to your kid. It will email parents highlights of their kids' conversations with the toy.

The Wi-Fi connected Hello Barbie doll is developed by ToyTalk

When you press a button on her belt buckle, Barbie wakes up, asks a question, and turns on its microphone while the switch is held down.

The doll is loaded up with scripts to read, and one of these is selected depending on what the kid said. If the kid shows an interest in a particular past-time or thing, the doll’s software will know to talk about that – giving the kid the impression that chatty Barbie’s a good, listening friend.

The recorded audio of children’s voices (and whatever else happens to be going on around them when they push the buckle button) is kept on ToyTalk’s computers.

As per ZeroHedge, here is the The ToyTalk privacy policy page:

"When users interact with ToyTalk, we may capture photographs or audio or video recordings (the “Recordings”) of such interactions, depending upon the particular application being used.
 
We may use, transcribe and store such Recordings to provide and maintain the Service, to develop, test or improve speech recognition technology and artificial intelligence algorithms, and for other research and development or internal purposes.

We may make such Recordings available to the parent account holder and permit the parent account holder to share such Recordings with third parties." 

By using Hello Barbie, parents agree to these terms.

You have been warned!

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Pork Off!

I see that schools in Islington are no longer serving pupils sausages, chops or bacon.

For why?

In case Jewish or Muslim children eat the meat by accident, and contravene their beliefs.

A spokesman is quoted by the Telegraph:

"Young children, some as young as four, of different religious and ethnic backgrounds may not know which foods contain pork, or may not realise the importance of avoiding it due to their culture or beliefs.

Monitoring each child, every day ensuring they are avoiding pork, is an unnecessary cost at a time of tight budgets." 

That sounds total BS to me.

Schools have managed, and continue to manage, serving pork elsewhere without creating this "problem".

Given that there are at least two dishes on offer to kids, and that the dishes are clearly labelled, there is no issue at all here except the one created by Nanny.

Following Nanny's "logic" I assume Islington will ban meat, lest a vegetarian child inadvertently eats it!
 

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Big Brother - SIM Hack

Aside from hacking into pc's, it seems that US and UK Nanny has also been hacking into SIM cards.

As per The Intercept, Nanny has hacked into the internal computer network of Gemalto the largest manufacturer of SIM cards in the world, stealing encryption keys used to protect the privacy of cellphone communications across the globe.

Be aware that nothing is private!

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Nanny Blocks Swedish Fanny

Commiserations to Fanny Carlson, a Swedish expat living in London, who recently tried to register for a Nectar card.

She was declined.

For why?

Nectar's computer system decreed that her christian name was too rude for it to cope with!

Knobheads!

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Nanny Tells Doctors To Snoop On Each Other

Our old friends from the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE)  are so worried about the over prescription of antibiotics, that they have instructed doctors to snoop on their colleagues in order to ensure they are not prescribing too many antibiotics.

Call me naive, but aside from this being an utterly disgraceful instruction, aren't doctors meant to be competent, professional and qualified?

As such, unless there is a well founded suspicion that a specific doctor is falling short of his/her professional standards, there is absolutely no justification for another doctor to snoop on his/her colleague.

This is an utterly disgraceful instruction, it will cause distrust and disputes in many medical practices at a time when doctors and the health service can ill afford to have time wasted by such nonsense.

NICE once again proving that it is an utter disgrace!

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Big Brother

Read this, then trash your pc's and go back to using pen and paper!

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The National College of Smoking

 
Source Viz.

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Nanny's Fatuous Alcohol Advice

The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG)and NICE have now decreed that, in order to ensure that no harm comes to a baby, women should not drink during the first 3 months (or just before) pregnancy.

Here's why this advice is bollocks:

1 Many pregnancies occur because alcohol was involved.

2 Many women are not aware that they are pregnant during the first few weeks (or indeed months) of pregnancy.

It is an utter waste of time to give such fatuous advice!

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Labour's Pink Bus

I see that Labour intend to try to reach out to women by touring the country in a pink bus.

Errmm, I thought that Nanny hated gender stereotyping and that pink is not meant to be a colour associated with females anymore?

Fuckwits!


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Nanny Bans Fags In Cars With Kids

Karl Astel

English Nanny will, as from 1 October, ban drivers in England from smoking in their cars if they are carrying children as passengers. 

Break the law, and Nanny will fine you £50.

Kerching!

Wales already bans this, but Scotland hasn't yet. Therefore, feel free to light up as soon as you cross the border.

Quite how Nanny expects to enforce this, given that people merrily text and use mobiles etc hither and thither when driving (when they shouldn't) is beyond me. Doubtless a loyal band of snoopers will rise up and help Nanny collect her fines.

Coming soon, I assume, we may expect an attempt to ban smoking in our own homes.

As a loyal reader noted, this passive smoking shit was invented by one of Hitler's henchmen!

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Big Brother - The Dangers of SmartTVs

In echoes of Orwell's "1984", it seems that SmartTVs that work on voice command may in fact be listening to your conversations and passing them onto the company (or other parties) that manufactured the TV.

The Telegraph quotes the privacy statement of Samsung:

"Please be aware that if your spoken words include personal or other sensitive information, that information will be among the data captured and transmitted to a third party.

If you do not enable Voice Recognition... while Samsung will not collect your spoken word, Samsung may still collect associated texts and other usage data so that we can evaluate the performance of the feature and improve it." 

I would point out that aside from this risk, were a SmartTV, mobile or pc with cam to be hacked your conversations and/or video image can be transmitted to others without your knowledge or consent.

Placing any of those devices into standby mode will not negate the risk. Only if you unplug and/or remove the batteries will the product be completely deactivated.

You have been warned!

This of course is not a problem to the retards who appear in and watch the TV series Big Brother, as they cannot function without being watched.

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Nanny's Punch a Smoker Campaign

.@Dick_Puddlecote The public are encouraged to face punch #smokers if they dare light up in #Bristol. @soozaphone pic.twitter.com/1sju1s8unb
— TobaccoTactics UK (@TobaccoTacticss) February 10, 2015

I am surprised, in this era of complaining against all things offensive/violent etc, that no one has asked the police to investigate what is clearly a campaign to encourage violence against a section of the community that is being marginalised.

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The Dangers of Daffodils

Proof, if ever it were needed, that Nanny is a complete knobhead and that some people living under the dictatorship of Nanny are utter fuckwits.

Nanny has told supermarkets to remove daffodils (which are poisonous if eaten) from the food areas of the shops, lest morons mistake them for food.

In a letter to supermarkets, Public Health England (which clearly has nothing better to do) warned that the flowers could be confused with onions or Chinese vegetables, and consumption of them was an "emerging risk".

Who is dumber, Nanny or the cretin that chooses to eat a daffodil?

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Nanny's Flu Vaccine Is Bollocks

It seems that Nanny's flu vaccine, that she implored us all to have, is in fact bollocks and doesn't work.

Evidence shows that the vaccine is stopping only three out of every 100 vaccinated people from developing symptoms.

What a complete and utter waste of time and money!

One wonders exactly why Nanny is so keen for us to have had this vaccine?

Still at least the drug companies made a fortune out of the vaccination programme!

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Booze Matters - Brand Awareness

Yawn!

I see that Nanny, in the shape of Alcohol Concern,is getting her knickers in a twist over the "fact" that kids are apparently very familiar with the brand names of booze.

Such is Nanny's concern over this that she wants more restrictions placed on booze adverts and sponsorships etc.

Now when I was a nipper, the TV was choc a bloc with adverts for booze. I was very familiar with names such as:

-Martini
-Red Barrel
-Worthington E
-Long Life
-Budweiser
-Harp
-Gordons
-Babycham 
-Carling etc etc

Yet this familiarity didn't turn me into a raging alcoholic (then or now).

Rather gemusingly Nanny adds weight to her "argument" by citing that "fact" that kids are more familiar with booze brands than brands of crisps, biscuits and sweets.

Ermm....I thought Nanny didn't approve of those either?

As ever Nanny's concerns are bollocks, kids are drinking less now than they ever did!

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Exercise is Dangerous

 

I am gemused to learn that the Copenhagen City Heart Study, conducted on runners, concluded that too much exercise really can kill you.

The study of 1,098 runners found that those who ran the fastest were nine times more likely to die prematurely within 12 years than those who enjoyed a more sedate pace of around 5mph for two or three times a week.

In fact, strenuous runners were as likely to die as those who did no physical activity.

Peter Schnohr, MD, DMSc, is quoted by the Telegraph:

"There may be an upper limit for exercise dosing that is optimal for health benefits.

It is important to emphasize that the pace of jogging corresponds to very vigorous exercise.

When performed for decades, this activity level could pose health risks, especially to the cardiovascular system.

If your goal is to decrease risk of death and improve life expectancy, jogging a few times a week at a moderate pace is a good strategy. Anything more is not just unnecessary, it may be harmful."

As ever, it is a case of eating, drinking and exercising in balance rather than to extremes.

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Bin Bollocks

Kudos to a traffic warden in Carmarthen who recently displayed a good sense of humour.

The warden is being investigated after a parking ticket was placed on a wheelie bin. The warden was accused of "bizarre behaviour" by onlookers as the penalty charge notice was stuck on the bin which was on double yellow lines in Carmarthen.

However, all is not what it may appear. Carmarthenshire council said no ticket was inside the wrapper and the incident was a light-hearted moment.

Yet, and this I don't understand given that there was no ticket, the council is still looking into the warden's conduct.

Why?

This seems a simple matter of high jinks. Why is the council being so anal about it?

Maybe the council wanted to fine the bin and is annoyed that it can't!

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CCTV Is Useless

I am gemused to see that Tony Porter, Nanny's surveillance commissioner, has said that there are too many “useless and ineffective” CCTV cameras in Britain.

Mr Porter said the public does not realise the true extent of surveillance in Britain, and lacks the understanding to be able to consent what is happening.

He also said the country must not “sleepwalk into a surveillance society” and called on councils and businesses to publish exactly what information is being gathered by the cameras.

Asked on BBC Radio Five Live if he thought there were too many “useless” cameras in Britain, Mr Porter replied:

“I think undoubtedly there are because we know that for a fact.”

He is quoted by the Telegraph:

“There is a local authority actually in the West Midlands that did a local review and was able to reduce the cameras that were ineffective and useless to the tune of a quarter of a million. 

If that can be extrapolated across the country I think we can actually still maintain the balance of excellent surveillance but not have a promulgation of surveillance that actually is useless.”

As I have noted before, CCTV merely records a crime taking place. Unless CCTV cameras are fitted with lasers that zap a criminal in mid act of criminality they will not prevent crimes (at best they displace them).

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