The Joy of Cat Litter II

I see, rather surprisingly, that the weather forecasts were pretty accurate wrt the snow and ice that had been predicted.

Fair enough!

Given the fact that there has been sufficient and well publicised warnings about the snow I assume that Nanny (eg councils, the Highways Agency etc) and "quasi state" bodies (eg Network Rail, BAA, BA, train companies etc) were ready for it, and have responded professionally and efficiently ensuring that our transport system continues to function during the snow.

What's that you say?

Really, the transport system has ground to a halt again?

Surely not?

Surely these bodies were prepared and ready this time?

Funny that isn't it, the state and "quasi state" bodies are always rather good at telling us how to live our lives (eg "don't travel", "check your flight details before leaving home", "no liquids", "check in at least two hours before departure" etc) and are more than happy to rob us blind (eg taxes, train fares etc) in return for providing us with "services" that fail?

Rather a one way "relationship" isn't it?

Looks like I will be using a lot of cat litter over the coming days!

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Prats of The Week - BA

As those of my loyal readers who read my other sites know, I am no particular fan of British Airways (BA). Therefore I am delighted to be able to confer upon our "illustrious national carrier" my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award for their disgraceful treatment of Mirko Fischer.

Mr Fischer, and his pregnant wife, had the misfortune to fly with BA in April 2009. Mrs Fishcer was assigned a middle seat, and Mr Fischer a window seat.

Mrs Fischer asked her husband to swap seats, as it would make her journey less uncomfortable.

No problem?

Alas dear readers you forget one thing, this was a BA flight (run for the convenience of the airline, not the customer).

When the Fischers swapped seats, Mr Fischer placed himself next to a 12 year old boy.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, one the the cabin crew told Mr Fischer to swap back.

For why?

BA do not allow adult males to sit next to unaccompanied children.

For why?

In BA's eyes all males are paedophiles.

Mr Fischer attempted to argue his case, and pointed out that his wife was more comfortable sitting by the window etc.

To no avail.

The staff member informed Mr Fischer that the flight would not take off until he sat where he was told etc etc.

Therefore, in order to get on with the flight, Mr Fischer swapped again with his wife.

On returning to Blighty he wrote to BA asking for an apology. This being BA all he received was the usual mealy mouthed corporate bullshit, that large organisations spew forth to customers who don't swallow hook line and sinker the corporate propaganda that would have them believe that the company gives a fark about the customer (let's face very few large corporations give a fark about the the customer, they only like to say that they do).

Anyhoo, Mr Fischer decided that he wasn't going to roll over and play the corporate bullshit game with BA. He filed a claim at Slough County Court, arguing that the airline's long-standing policy of forbidding men from sitting next to unaccompanied children not only cast the whole male gender in an unsavoury light, but was essentially sex discrimination.

BA is now reported to have admitted sex discrimination in Mr Fischer's case, but only in his case, and agreed to pay £2,161 in costs and £750 in damages. Mr Fischer will pay this money to children's charity, and also put some of his own money in as well.

BA have told the BBC that the policy was not discriminatory. However, they also claim that it is now under review.

I understand that Boris Johnson had a similar experience in 2006, despite sitting with his own children at the time.

Mr Johnson wrote in the Telegraph:

"How many paedophiles can there be?

Are we really saying that any time an adult male finds himself sitting next to someone under 16, he must expect to be hustled from his seat before the suspicious eyes of the entire cabin?"

Here is some free advice/questions to BA:

1 Not all males are paedophiles.

2 Some women are paedophiles (why does the rule not apply to them as well?).

3 What exactly do you think will happen on a plane full of people, where there are call buttons above every seat?

4 Do you think that making every child afraid of every male adult is a good thing?

BA, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Those of you who wish to debate this issue with Willie Walsh, CEO of BA, feel free to drop him a line willie.walsh@ba.com.

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

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Hip Hip Hooray Ken's Flying Back Today

Rosie (our cat) being given the good news that I am coming back from Beijing today.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Eagle Has Landed

Back in Blighty folks, very successful business trip there.

You may enjoy my views on my BA flight and the BA strike here www.baisshite.com

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Swedish Lessons

In keeping with the Thiefrow (sorry I mean Heathrow) Terminal 5 theme, I would like to draw your attention to this little article from a Swedish site E24:

Pommes-fritt på nya Heathrow-terminalen

Londonflygplatsen Heathrow har öppnat en ny jätteterminal - där man förbjudit förekomsten av pommes frites och annan snabbmat.

Monsterflygplatsen Heathrow, med Europas största flöde av privatpassagerare tillika den flygplats som slussar vidare flest internationella passagerare i världen, har fått ett rejält tilltaget terminaltillskott.

Den nya terminalen är tidsenlig på många sätt. Framförallt är den befriad från transfetter och osund kost. I sann Jamie Oliver-anda har man bestämt sig för att förbjuda snabbmatsrestauranger till förmån för sunda och miljövänliga alternativ, rapporterar norska Aftonposten.

Den etablerade brittiska pubkedjan JD Wetherspoon har därför tvingats radera frityrstekarna och fish-and-chipsen från sitt utbud på Terminal 5.

Bygget av Terminal 5, som den nya terminalen heter, har tagit nästan åtta år. Men terminalen har varit i pipeline längre än så. Redan 1982 inleddes en debatt kring huruvida man skulle bygga ut Londonflygplatsen Stansted eller satsa på att bygga ut Heathrow.

Tio år senare bestämde man sig slutligen för att satsa på en femte terminal för Heathrow. Sammanlagt 80 000 personer har varit involverade i bygget.

Terminal 5 kommer att besökas av uppskattningsvis 30 miljoner passagerare årligen, vilket ökar Heathrows totala kapacitet till 90 miljoner passagerare per år, en ökning med 22 miljoner passagerare eller dryga 30 procent, från dagens 68 miljoner passagerare.

Den totala kostnaden beräknas till 4,3 miljarder pund, motsvarande 52 miljarder kronor i dagens penningvärde.

How very cosmopolitan of me!

The title says:

French fries-free new Heathrow terminal!

It goes on to say that that the established British pub JD Wetherspoon had to remove deep fried steak and fish-and-chips from the menu in Terminal 5.

Most assuredly, we should boycott Terminal 5!

Here endeth today's Swedish lesson.

Knobheads of The Year - BAA II

Hearty congratulations to BAA for thoroughly screwing up the first day of operations of Terminal 5 Thiefrow (sorry I mean Heathrow).

Chaos reigned supreme yesterday as check ins, baggage belts and lifts failed. I understand that today is pretty shambolic too.

How ironic that I gave them the "Knobheads of The Year" Award yesterday!

Now let me see, what have I said on several occasions about BAA's competence...errmmm???

Oh yes, this is what I said:

"BAA are shite, and regularly manage to screw up simple tasks such as baggage handling. The effective, efficient and secure control of personal data such as prints is way beyond their capabilities."

The words "brewery", "piss up", "couldn't" and "organise" spring to mind...if someone could please arrange them in the correct order for me...

Suffice to say, given the dismal performance of BAA wrt terminal 5 Thiefrow, how on earth can they be trusted with our fingerprint data?

I am absolutely certain that BAA, in it current form, will cease to exist in the not too distant future. Let us hope that whatever rises from the ashes is an improvement.

BAA, well deserving knobheads of the year.

corporateresponsibility@baa.com

Knobheads of The Year - BAA

Today, in hour of the opening of Terminal 5 Thiefrow, I was going to award BAA my prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award, for their truly appalling scheme to fingerprint everyone (including domestic travellers) at Terminal 5 Thiefrow.

I now have to state publicly, and on the record, that this award would have been a grave mistake.

I formally and unreservedly apologise to BAA for almost besmirching their "fine" name, by thinking of giving them this award, and herewith and immediately withdraw the award.

What?!!!!!! I hear you ejaculate (can I say ejaculate here?).

Have you lost your cajones Ken?

Fear not loyal readers and anti Nannyers everywhere, I have not lost my cajones. BAA are in fact to be awarded my ultra prestigious "Knobheads of The Year" Award.

For why?

Well, it seems that their idiotic and badly thought through scheme to fingerprint everyone at Thiefrow Terminal 5, which is being investigated by the Information Commissioner's Orifice (ICO) as it is illegal, has been put on hold.

A spokesman for BAA slimed:

"Following a meeting with all relevant parties, including the Information Commissioner and the Border and Immigration Agency, the introduction of fingerprinting for domestic passengers and international passengers transferring on to domestic flights at Heathrow will be temporarily delayed."

BAA said that it will hold further talks with both the Information Commissioner and the Border and Immigration Agency before deciding its next move.

For the time being instead of leaving a fingerprint before passing through security, passengers will be photographed.

BE WARNED

This measure is only "on hold", BAA have spent a lot of money on installing the fingerprint scanners and are as keen as mustard to use them; they will try every trick in the book to implement this.

Here's why thier scheme is a load of old bollocks:

• BAA are shite, and regularly manage to screw up simple tasks such as baggage handling. The effective, efficient and secure control of personal data such as prints is way beyond their capabilities



• BAA are on the point of bankruptcy, what happens to this system when they collapse?



• The security services will of course take these details, no matter what BAA say



• This will add to the delays and frustrations of the hapless passengers who have to endure Heathrow's primitive facilities (note Terminal 5's design was buggered about and ruined, because BAA couldn't afford to build the original design)



• There is no need to fingerprint domestic passengers, this could be done purely for international and transit passengers at their point of arrival (even if there really is a security need for prints...which I doubt)



• The UK is the only country in the world that is going to fingerprint domestic passengers. Why?



• They will photograph everyone anyway, the prints are not needed

Anyhoo, in celebration of today's grand opening of Terminal 5 Thiefrow I am proud, nay honoured, to award BAA "Knobheads of The Year"

Feel free to tell them that they have won, via this email address: corporateresponsibility@baa.com

They had better hurry to pick up the award, given their appalling gearing levels BAA are not going to be around for much longer!

BAA well deserving "Knobheads of The Year"!

BAA Truly is Shite II

Hah!

Further to my article about BAA wanting to fingerprint its hapless passengers who have to endure the shopping mall that is Terminal 5 at Heathrow, it seems that even Nanny is worried that this is a step too far.

The Home Office denies ever having told BAA to use fingerprinting as an extra security measure, and the Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) says that the plan may be illegal.

The ICO believes that this is another step "on the road to a surveillance society", and has warned BAA that it might breach Data Protection laws.

A spokesman for the Information Commissioner said:

"Our concern is with the surveillance society. Is this another step on the road towards that kind of society? Why do they need fingerprints, and why four? Why are other airports able to operate with just photographs, and is this a proportionate response?"

Good for the ICO!

The ICO have issued the following advice to passenger, when asked for fingerprints passengers should demand to know why they were being taken, what would be done with them and how long would they be kept.

Make the system inoperable by sheer bloody mindedness.

Vent your spleen on BAA via this link corporateresponsibility@baa.com

BAA Truly is Shite

Congratulations to BAA (Britsh Airports Authority) for out "Nannying" Nanny.

How has this historic achievement been effectuated? (Can I say effectuated on a public website?)

I shall tell you...

When Terminal 5 at Heathrow opens on 27th March, all passengers passing through its portals (including British citizens flying on domestic flights) will be fingerprinted and photographed.

For why?

BAA claim that it's because the design of the building mixes transit, international and domestic travellers all in one huge shopping mall.

BAA also claim that the photos and prints will be destroyed after 24 hours, and will not be given to the security services.

Well, here's why this is a load of old bollocks:

• BAA are shite, and regularly manage to screw up simple tasks such as baggage handling. The effective, efficient and secure control of personal data such as prints is way beyond their capabilities



• BAA are on the point of bankruptcy, what happens to this system when they collapse?



• The security services will of course take these details, no matter what BAA say



• This will add to the delays and frustrations of the hapless passengers who have to endure Heathrow's primitive facilities (note Terminal 5's design was buggered about and ruined, because BAA couldn't afford to build the original design)



• There is no need to fingerprint domestic passengers, this could be done purely for international and transit passengers at their point of arrival (even if there really is a security need for prints...which I doubt)



• The UK is the only country in the world that is going to fingerprint domestic passengers. Why?

Just to put this truly in perspective, I have travelled to Beijing, Moscow and Pyongyang; I have never had to give my fingerprints at these airports.

All in all BAA are taking actions way above their lowly station in life.

I suggest that people bugger up their new system by spraying plastic skin on their fingers, thus making the system inoperable.

Vent your spleen on BAA via this link corporateresponsibility@baa.com

British Airways

Previewing a new site soon to be added to the www.kenfrost.com network:

www.baisshite.com providing the latest news and views on British Airways, the world's "favourite" airline.

It is in "beta mode" at the moment, and will be linked into the main sites in my network in the next few days. Please let me know if there are any glitches, or if you have any suggestions for improvements that I can make to it.

Please let me know if you have story about BA, that you would like to have posted on the site.

Feel free to add comments, to the site itself.

Thanks.

Ken

The World's Costliest Airline II

The Times picked up my earlier piece about BA's excess pricing today:)

Yes, I know this has nothing to do with Nanny!

Indulge me.

The World's Costliest Airline

Off topic...sorry!

Those of you who use BA, and are a tad fed up with them, may find this to be of interest.

The World's Costliest Airline.

Back To Blighty

Hi Folks

I am in the BA departure lounge at Beijing airport...back in Blighty in 12 hours or so.

Had an excellent duck last night.

Best wishes to all

Ken

BA Reservations II

Update to my story yesterday about British Scareways.

BA Reservations

BA Reservations=Totally Useless

Nanny's Airport Security

Following on from the recent alleged terrorist plot, Nanny has ratcheted up the security measures at the airports and in doing so has engendered a mild sense of hysteria in some people.

A couple of days ago a woman was handcuffed on a plane, as she suffered a panic attack and was found to be carrying some hand cream. Today it was reported that a man was given a sound kicking, when he was suspected of trying to light his own farts.

Luckily a sky marshall was on board the plane, and saved the day by inserting a large rubber bung up the fart lighter's arse.

As a result of this incident Nanny will be upgrading her security advice to airlines and insisting that all passengers have a rubber bung inserted up their arses.

Additionally, she is insisting that these new custom designed security seats be installed as soon as possible.



To see a detailed picture of the Electric Commode, please click this lick The Electric Commode.

Postcards of the above design can be purchased here Electric Commode Postcards.

OK folks, maybe part of the above was a slight exaggeration!

However, I would contend that the security measures and ensuing hysteria have done little to improve the long term (read that bit carefully) security of the UK or of passengers departing from UK airports.

• The current level of security checks are unsustainable.



• BA has had to cancel 13000 flights since last Thursday, this is economically unsustainable.



• Over 20000 bags have been "lost/misplaced" since last Thursday. Fortunately the baggage handlers at Heathrow are a very honest bunch of people, and as such passengers can rest assured that their "lost" bags will not be interfered with in any way.



• Despite the security checks a 12 year old boy managed to get on board a plane, and a man returned to an empty plane to look for a lost wallet.



• Aside from the increased security at British airports, European airports are as they were before. As such, were you part of the "crescent of evil" you could simply pop over on the channel tunnel (which has no extra security) to France, board a flight there back to London and as a transfer passenger board a long haul flight with your tube of toothpaste still on your person.



• As for the rest of us travelling by train or tube, tough luck, the security remains as before.

Nanny is good at raising bogeymen and imposing draconian rules, but she is not good at managing the consequences. Clearly the current security measures will have to be relaxed, otherwise the airline industry will grind to a halt.

Here are a few simple ideas that I have for improving the situation:

1 Allow only one small clear bag onto a plane, containing "safe" items. The previous situation, whereby people were bringing all manner of crap on board was a ridiculous nonsense anyway.

2 Ensure that people only book into the hold of a plane 1 item of baggage per person, with a maximum weight. The vast array of ski equipment, boxes and bits and bobs that some people carry severely delays the check in process. Should you wish to transport your kitchen sink, then place the extra load on board a separate plane specially designated for delivery of such items.

3 Do away with 100% hand searches of people and their carry on luggage, instead use profiling to identify the high risk traveller. Therein lies the problem with Nanny, she seeks to zeroise risk, rather than manage it.

None of the above are radical or new ideas. However, at the moment, it seems that the relevant authorities are behaving in some senses like headless chickens and not sitting down calmly and working through what really needs to be done.

In the meantime, the alleged terrorists much be rubbing their hands with glee as they see the chaos that they have caused.