Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Nanny Bans Catapult

Nanny Bans CatapultOh dear oh dear, I know that Nanny deplores violence and hates the idea that people should carry weapons (eg knives, swords, guns etc).

However, please tell me why Nanny got herself into a tiz over John Payne buying a £1.50 plastic catapult, which he wanted to use to fire bait into rivers when he went fishing?

I would point out that Mr Payne is 73 years old, walks with a limp and has arthritis.

So far so good?

Errmmm...not in Nanny's world.

Mr Payne was asked by the Original Factory Shop, in Melksham Wiltshire, to prove that he was over 18!

A spokesman for the Original Factory Shop said:

"I am sure the assistant was having a bit of fun with the customer and did not seriously expect him to show identification."

Mr Payne didn't get that impression!

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  1. Anonymous11:15 AM

    Complete and utter tossers

  2. When will these numbskulls understand that Mr Payne has only lived to the age of 73 by dint of carrying a loaded catapult?

    Sainsbury's, gobbless their little cotton socks, asked me for ID once because I was buying a spoon (for work, tea-stirring for the use of, one, metal, un-issued, blunt). Since I'm in my forties I just dragged the checkout assistant over the conveyor belt and planted an appreciative sloppy wet kiss and double-handed grope.

    He wasn't best pleased with me.

    These days I can no longer carry my catapult.

    It's on wheels and some might know it as the Pump-Action PPT or, technically, the "Repeating Personal Protection Trebuchet" made by James Purdey & Sons of London.

    Loading it is a bit of a bugger but it does rather successfully dis-encourage Traffic Wardens, Behovers Witnesses and anything spotty in a hoody.

    Stand back! One tug on this rope young fella me lad and you'll be lucky to wake up as a thin, greasy film across the pavement...

  3. Anonymous12:01 PM

    It probably was intended as a joke, but nanny has got so suspicious about each other that we're getting to the stage were normal human interaction is a minefield.

  4. Anonymous12:02 PM

    sorry, "got US so suspicious..."

  5. Anonymous7:44 PM

    Personally, I hate the way some checkout operators don't even say please, thankyou, or just keep talking to their mate on the other till while they are serving you.

    Here's one we should all really annoys them!

    Today I went to B & Q and bought a few odds & ends. I handed a £10 note to the cashier; she paused, looked at it, wiped a special pen across it, then held it up to the light. Finally, she gave me my change which included a £5 note.

    I paused, looked at it, rubbed it, flipped it over, held it up to the light and then asked if I could borrow her pen.

    "Anything wrong?" she asked as she handed it over.

    "Probably not" I said, "but if you don't trust my money...I don't see why I should trust yours!"

    The two people after me in the line laughted then did exactly the same.

  6. Anonymous10:40 PM

    Good one, Anon.

    Littlejohn, to whom I increasingly warm, reckons that ID will be this year's Elfin Safety.