Not my own work, but it tickled my fancy:)
Governmentium
New element discovered
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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Very funny Ken....But sadly, it appears to be true!!
ReplyDeleteIt appears there may be another propert that the author did not mention; It seems to be able to be in more than one dimension at a time....It intrudes into our reality, whilst at the same time, it lives in a completely different reality to us.
With the present Gv, every time you listen to the radio it seems to be in active decay.
ReplyDeleteIt also has a natural tendency to combine with quangonium and bureaucracinium, leading it to be found in it's most common form as wereupshitstreetagain oxide.
ReplyDeleteGovernmentium may have no electrons, but more importantly, it doesn't seem to have any elections either!
ReplyDeleteCould do with a burst of Cameronium.
Very good, Ken, but I have to agree with Tonk, too, as it is sadly true.
ReplyDeleteBig Al:
ReplyDeleteI agree, we need to get nanny Brown and his helpers out.
Although a life long Conservative, I worry about the direction Mr Cameron is taking the party I have given both money and time to in the past.
Yesterday, I listened to Mr Gove's speech, which because of the nature of the new regime, must have been approved by Mr Cameron. I fear, we shall still have a Nanny even when Mr Brown is pushed out, it will just be of a different political colour.
When the electorate is not given a real choice by the main parties in terms of policies etc, then there is no choice and no real choice means no real democracy.