In the good old days, long before I graced this planet with my presence, you could not walk down a street in Britain without bumping into a man grinding his organ whilst a monkey gayly (spelling? should it be gayley?) played atop it.
Ah yes, halcyon days!
Sadly, in Nanny's Britain, public organ grinding (the technical term for playing with one's organ) is somewhat frowned upon.
Paddy Cooke discovered this to his cost recently, when he attempted a bit of organ grinding in Ripley recently with his ape "Simon".
Ripley Town Council have banned Mr Cooke from public grinding until a risk assessment is carried out (pass the sick bag someone!).
For your information, Ripley also banned a Punch and Judy show because they worried about the dangers it presented to the public!
What are these people smoking?
Anyhoo, Mr Cooke's act is harmless enough (to those of us who live in the real world); he wears Victorian costume as he walks around playing his organ, a replica of an instrument used more than 150 years ago.
Interestingly Ripley Council claim that they are only acting "under orders", as the requirement for a risk assessment (applicable to clowns, brass bands and the Salvation Army) comes down from Amber Valley Borough Council.
So that's alright then!
By the way, I guess some of you may be thinking that maybe the monkey could escape and bite someone, or that the act may be cruel to the monkey.
At this stage I must point out one wee extra piece of information, "Simon" is in fact an animatronic monkey (it ain't alive!).
Mr Cooke (who has been grinding his organ for 15 years, and has two sons who also grind their organs) expresses it rather wryly:
"It's not as if I have a live monkey which might jump at people.
Mine is a battery-operated interactive toy and the best I have ever had.
He says things like 'I want a banana' and even once offered to tell me the sum of pi squared."
Simon is sometimes quiet and sometimes chatty. He's very realistic but is no danger to anyone.
I suppose someone might trip over a paving slab when listening to the music and blame me but I have been doing this for years without a problem."
Madness!
Ho hum, it looks as though I will have to continue to grind my organ in the privacy of my own home then!
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I realise opening a dictionary is a risky business, so you will have to take my word for it unless you can get clearance to from your local council - it's gaily.
ReplyDelete'Elf'n'Safety Officers must be seen to be doing something, no matter how daft it seems to everyone else, just to justify their position.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is, people are using the 'Elf'n'Safety coverall to control other people, few people will dare do something that 'Elf'n'Safety has told them not to....We are really startiong to see the lunatics running the asylum.
Incidently, here in Wokingham, we have a winter fayre and jolly good fun it is too and, at the said fayre, we usually have an organ grinder with monkey performing on top of the organ.....No serious accidents so far...Well other than a paper cut filling out the 'Elf'n'Safety forms:-)
Quoting Tonk:
ReplyDelete"No serious accidents so far...Well other than a paper cut filling out the 'Elf'n'Safety forms:-)"
So did 'elf 'n' safety provide the proper risk assessments and training to fill in these forms ? If not...sue them under 'elf 'n' safety regulations :)
gaily
ReplyDelete'Interestingly Ripley Council claim that they are only acting "under orders", as the requirement for a risk assessment (applicable to clowns, brass bands and the Salvation Army) comes down from Amber Valley Borough Council.'
ReplyDeleteAnd where have we heard that excuse before, boys and girls? Tonk is right, these 'Elf and Safety' parasites are doing no end of daft things, to justify their positions, not to mention over-inflated salaries, and 'Elf and Safety', like political correctness (the twin evils of
21st century Britain) is being used to control the general populace, who follow like sheep.
However, I disagree with you in one respect, Tonk, because it seems to me that the lunatics are not just starting to run the asylum, because they already do so, and have done for some considerable time!
'What are these people smoking?'
ReplyDeleteNothing Ken. Nothing at all. If they had the odd tab, cigar or pipeful they might not be the intolerable anal bastards they are.
However, as we all know, smoking is the most terrible thing since Adolph's Endlosung and simply must be stamped out 'for the chiiiiiiiilllllldreeeenn!©'...
I am a member of the British Organ Grinder Acc. (some 250 members) and if we wish to play in public places we have to have Insurance cover to the tune of £2,000,000.
ReplyDeleteNow I ask you, how much damage do you think I could do with a small musical instrument? Who is the real monkey in all this?
The Nanny state has actually done us Organ Grinders a favour this year. In March, 328 outdated or obsolete laws were scrapped in a government clean-up. They scrapped a law, created in 1839, which stated that any street musician who failed to move on when requested could be fined 40 shillings. (True, not a joke)
ReplyDeleteTwo above comments are mine. Now have a google identity, whatever that is? Vox angelica and Vox humana by the way, are organ pipes.
ReplyDelete"If they had the odd tab, cigar or pipeful they might not be the intolerable anal bastards they are."
ReplyDeleteI don't smoke,yet I'm NOT like these creeps, not at all!