Oh dear, it looks as though Nanny's feared and hated Bottom Inspectors have returned.
Nanny is now so fearful about our level of fatness, funny how it is that so many MPs are real porkers isn't it?, that she is mounting (can I say mounting so early in the morning?) a campaign to have us exercise at bus stops.
Nanny believes that the time spent at bus stops could be better spent by standing on one leg, pointing our toes and clenching our buttocks.
I have to say it has been a fair while since I had a good old "clench"!
Nanny is handing out leaflets and posters setting out six Pilates-style exercise moves to do at the bus stops, for bus routes between Blackburn and Manchester.
The "Every Stop Helps" leaflet tells passengers:
"Healthy living is all about having a good diet and getting the right amount of physical exercise.
Make exercising on the X41 part of your everyday bus travel. The exercises are easy, fun to do and discreet!"
Come on everyone, let's show Nanny what we think of her by engaging in a mass buttock clench!
The good news is that we are funding this scheme via Nanny's Higher Education Funding Council for England.
Errmmm...given that this is a health issue, shouldn't the money come out of the NHS?
Let's cut the crap shall we?
If Nanny wants to get us all slim again (quickly and cheaply) all she has to do is get us hooked on cocaine, an appetite suppressant favoured by the glitterati. It's cheap, readily available and provides thousands of people who deal it with a living.
Nanny should legalise it and tax it.
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
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