Nanny knows what every dictator and incense burning religion has known for centuries:
"Give me a young child, and I will make him/her mine for life."
Thus she has decided to tackle one of her most hated scourges, smoking, by sending anti-smoking advisors into nurseries.
Nanny's special little "team" from Colchester and Tendring NHS Stop Smoking Service will be lecturing children, as young as three, as to the dangers of smoking. They will show them dolls that demonstrate how the lungs of smokers and non-smokers differ, they will also give them NHS leaflets and questionnaires to take home for their parents.
In other words Nanny intends to scare the hell out of the kids, and make them afraid not only for their own health but the health of their parents. Thus Nanny will turn them into agents of the state within the home.
Now children, tell me, which European regime tried this little trick (to great success) some 70 years ago?
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
I'm surprised that ideas like this don't get a 'child abuse' classification.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed that the current message from Nanny about "Get off cigarettes with NHS support" which is constantly on the TV, uses emotional blackmail to get her message over.....Each of the adults, when giving the reason for wanting to stop is kid related....The message implies that if you don't give up, you don't love your kids.
ReplyDeleteI have never smoked in my life and I am irritated by this constant barrage of messages from Nanny, so I can only imagine how you smokers must feel.
It seems Nanny has become an archeologist in as much as she just can't resist having a little dig:-))
"... they will also give them NHS leaflets and questionnaires to take home for their parents. ..."
ReplyDeleteHmm. Since they're already distributing leaflets and talking to the rug-rats, kidlings and people-cubs wouldn't it be efficient to also ask them a few questions at the same time about, for example, their parents' tax affairs, alcohol consumption, general religious and political affiliations, neighbour's activities, propensity for speeding, valuables tucked away etc etc?
Kids can be such a mine of valuable information and they're such excellent polygraph subjects too. Nanny really should learn to use them more as a resource.
p.s., anyone know a good clinic where I can get this damned tongue out of my cheek?
Good idea but I've got another one- rather than ask them questions they could take the opportunity to raise some other issues with the three year olds whilst you have their attention, how about alcoholism, or terrorists, maybe contraception, or STDs? If they're so keen on using dolls there are plenty of blow up ones they could use for demonstration purposes of the last couple there! I mean if all these three year olds are smoking who knows what else they might be doing?
ReplyDeleteP.S. Stop Hitting Me Officer- If you find a decent clinic that manages to remove your tongue from your cheek do send me their address!
speenzman, there are dolls that could be used to demostrate sexual matters and terrorism at the same time - they blow themselves up.
ReplyDeleteIt's all pre-training for later social services deployment.
ReplyDelete"When did you last see your father?"
Actually, whilst we are on the subject of questionnaires, we could ask the pre-schoolers if they have any suggestions about how to repair the economy since Nanny has admitted to not having a clue. After all it will be their inheritance that is being trashed right now.
Hope the parents use the leaflets and questionnaires appropriately - to wipe their bottoms
ReplyDeleteJay