Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Nanny Bans Drunken Sailors



Congratulations to Bookstart (a bunch of people who are trying to get children to read - funny I thought that was the role of parents and teachers), who have scaled new heights of pratishness.

The good people of Bookstart feel that the old song "What Shall We Do With a Drunken Sailor" is too evil, and have expunged the "drunken" words to "grumpy pirate".

Other lines removed included "Put him in the brig until he's sober", "Keelhaul him and pass the bottle", "Round with the rum and scotch and whiskey".

The new version reads "Do a little jig and make him smile", "Make him walk the plank till he starts to wobble" and "Tickle him till he starts to giggle".

The new version:

"What Shall We Do With the Grumpy Pirate?

What shall we do with the grumpy pirate? What shall we do with the grumpy pirate? What shall we do with the grumpy pirate? Early in the morning.

Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Early in the morning.

Do a little jig and make him smile, Do a little jig and make him smile, Do a little jig and make him smile, Early in the morning.

Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Early in the morning.

Make him walk the plank till he starts to wobble, Make him walk the plank till he starts to wobble, Make him walk the plank till he starts to wobble, Early in the morning.

Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Early in the morning.

Tickle him till he starts to giggle, Tickle him till he starts to giggle, Tickle him till he starts to giggle, Early in the morning.

Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Hooray and up she rises, Early in the morning."


Complete bollocks, written by prats wasting our money!

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14 comments:

  1. More PC crap.

    Perhaps someone should re-write the song along the lines of "What shall we do with the PC pillock."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great version of a great old traditional song!

    ReplyDelete
  3. David Gallico2:33 PM

    The late, great Kenneth Williams on the 1960s radio programme
    'Round the Horne' played a number of strange characters, including one called Rambling Sid Rumpo, who sang folk songs with 'different' words,specially written by the scriptwriters, but to the same tune. For this particular song, the words were, something like this:

    "What shall we do with the drunken nurker?
    What shall we do with the drunken nurker?
    What shall we do with the drunken nurker?
    He's bending his cordwangle!

    Hit him in the nadgers with the bosuns blunger!
    Slap him on the grummits with a wrought iron runger!
    Cuff him in the moulies with the Captain's plunger
    'Til his bogles dangle!

    Heave, ho and up she rises,
    Heave, ho and up she rises,
    Heave ho and up she rises!
    Oh!! He's broken his cordwangle!"

    Much better, I think you'll agree than this political correct crap!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Grumpy pirate? Gloomy Gordon more like.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Y'see this is where I fall out with the "Political Correctness Gone Mad" brigade.

    The theme of the book was Pirates and they thought it would be fun to adapt an old song to that theme. If you look for PC everywhere, you'll find it - in "Winterfest" (media-invented rubbish) or in this (media-spread mis-reporting). What's the common factor? Ah! The media stirring up outrage over nothing by misrepresenting a story. What a surprise!

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  6. "Fun"? Don't be daft. Here's my new copyright version:

    What shall we do with the PC cretins
    What shall we do with the PC cretins
    What shall we do with the PC cretins
    Early in the morning?

    Wash out their mouths with strong carbolic
    Early in the morning

    Make ‘em sing “On the Good Ship Venus”
    Early in the morning

    Let Don Rumsfeld waterboard ‘em
    Early in the morning

    Throw ‘em overboard to the sharks stark naked
    Early in the morning

    Hang ‘em from the top of the highest yardarm
    Early in the morning

    Maroon the lot on a desert island
    Early in the morning

    Etc.

    I could continue indefinitely in this vein, but I don’t actually think it’s funny at all. These people know nothing, and care less, about history and tradition. They are utterly ignorant about life aboard sailing ships and sea shanties for a start. They are gormless brainwashers, and quite unfit to have anything to do with childrens’ education. That such ludicrous antics should be funded with public money beggars belief.

    ReplyDelete
  7. A. Pirate8:36 PM

    I've never been so offended in all my life. I guess it's our own fault, I tried to warn the Pirate Union that a skull and crossbones would send out the wrong messgae, the best they could come up with is call it the Jolly Roger. I stand here today to inform you all that us pirates aren't all grumpy and please rewrite these stanzas.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous10:49 PM

    I thought the new version was for some gays having a giggle. Sounds like it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous9:48 AM

    Anonymous said...

    I thought the new version was for some gays having a giggle. Sounds like it.

    Ha ha ha! Anonymous said the word "gays" out loud! Ha ha ha!

    Clutches split side and wanders off to re-tune the wireless with tears in eyes.

    ... said Anonymous 2.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous1:13 PM

    Hands off our trad songs you nasty lice!! This is an old trad song (and tune). It is bad enough the PC and multiculti vermin destroying the country and any framework in which we might enjoy or celebrate our traditions, but trying to rewrite the songs?

    Dear Lord.

    FIGHT BACK YOU FOOLS!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I couldnt agree more complete and utter tripe .. do a little jig andmake him smile ? would this be why the education department was givignpole dancing lessons? please.. now Daid Gallico spot on !! damn i miss Kenneth

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous2:07 PM

    F*ck me dead! (someone, please)

    Is this really what is going on in this banana republic?

    Someone, please shoot me between the eyes (or at least fulfil my earlier request).

    ReplyDelete
  13. Aren't there more things to worry about in the world?Instead,their definition of worry is changing a song because they have nothing else to do.
    Utter bollocks!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Aren't there more things to worry about in the world?Instead,their definition of worry is changing a song because they have nothing else to do.
    Utter bollocks!

    ReplyDelete