Aha nice to see that my own local council, Brighton and Hove, have earned themselves one of my renowned and internationally desired "Prats of The Week" awards.Anton Cataldo a local artist recently lost a couple of his paintings, and decided to ask the public to help him find them.
His method?
He pinned some simple notices (similar to "lost cat/dog" notices) to a few trees (six to be precise), to make a direct appeal to the public.
Can you guess what happened next?
Yes, that's right, the local council contacted him and fined him £75.
Kerching!!!
For why?
Seemingly the notices were deemed by the prats in our local council as harmful to the trees!
Here is part of the text of the council's email sent to Mr Cataldo, were it not serious I would have assumed it was just taking the piss:
"Some of these posters had been stapled to trees. You appear to have little understanding that trees are living things.
Wounding the bark of a tree in any way can lead to attack by airborne fungal spores which, in the worst-case scenario, could lead to the loss of the tree."
Needless to say, once Mr Cataldo made a public fuss over the issue, the prats in the council cancelled the fine.
Treemendous!
(The above joke is copyright to the Ken Frost).
Wasting all that time, effort and our taxes on an irrelevancy proves how out of touch and useless local councils really are.
As I have noted before on this site, when dealing with local councils intent on screwing you out of as much money as possible, the only way to deal with them is to stand up to them and create as much fuss as possible.
They are a waste of space and resources.
Brighton and Hove council, well deserving Prats of The Week.
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Ken, welcome to the South Coast stasi. I live in Eastbourne and have had many fun filled run ins with our local council. Self-important little twats to man. At a recent meeting over a development I was warned (after demanding my right to speak as a taxpayer) that any further 'disrespect to the council' would result in the meeting being terminated.
ReplyDeleteI spoke again to remind them that they work for us and not the other way around. Much cheers from the floor and head bowing conference among the 'learned members' of the council.
End result, I got to speak they got to squirm and the public took great delight in the whole affair.
If they had called the Old Bill to eject me I would have made hay with the media and the scumbags knew it - so fight them at every level and we will win.
Ken,
ReplyDeleteI just had an awful thought.....You lived in Croydonia and the council were paper hats now, you've moved to Brighton and the council are paper hats....Is it you that has this effect on our very good, very upstanding super local councils?....No only joking....They're all paper hats!!
:-))
I love that condesending tone..."you appear to have little understanding that trees are a living thing"...sheesh. We know trees are living things and that trees are tough old bastards that have been here long before councils ruined Britain and will be here long after all of us who remember freedom are consigned to the ground. His staples wont hurt them.
ReplyDeletedebbie
I work for a large metropolitan council in a planning department. We are required to put up planning notices. Occasionally, where no other places are available, we have to put them on trees.
ReplyDeleteWe use a staple gun.
I'm a tree.
ReplyDeleteI speak for my people.
If there is any way that we can assist with sorting out this "council" infestation please just do let us know. The larger of my people could maybe, oh I don't know, maybe hold out a thick branch horizontally while you busy little non-tree monkey-folk string up members of the councils from it.
We've had a vote and we're also not averse to letting you cut up the bodies of our deceased relatives into short planks to twat councillors with too.
We burn quite well too but you'd have to carry us into the council buildings and rub a couple of us together.