Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Nanny's Shit Database

I am highly gemused to see that Nanny intends to expand her ever growing network of databases.

This time she intends to create one containing dog shit.

Yes, you did read that correctly!

Nanny's chums from the Isle of Wight Council want to create a database containing the DNA taken from dog shit.

For why?

Seemingly this will be used to prosecute dog owners who allow their mutts to befoul (there's a good word!) the pavements.

David Pugh, leader of the Isle of Wight Council, as per the Telegraph told a council meeting:
"We could test samples against the database and trace it to the dog's owner. I imagine we would see an immediate cessation to the problem. 

It's something we would have to pilot, and I'm not wishing to make policy on the hoof."
Seemingly the shit can be matched to individual dogs using samples of fur or saliva taken from animals.

Owners must give consent for the DNA sample to be taken from their pet, but it can them remain on the database for the rest of their life.

Well, given that permission is required first, I don't see this as getting anywhere.

I would also ask that, given that we are facing years of austerity and cuts, where exactly is the money coming from to fund this?

Barking mad!

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  1. Indeed Ken, barking mad!

    It seems the only two qualities needed to be a councillor, are to be nosey and completely bonkers. Who in their right mind is going to let Nanny take DNA samples from their dog if they allow it to foul public places.....?

  2. Anonymous11:11 AM

    Hmmmm…………Let’s just think about this one.
    They would need to employ people to take samples from any dog shit deposited on the streets and employ a few technicians to carry out the DNA tests.

    They would need to pay money for laboratory facilities and a secure database for the results. This database would have to be constantly updated. Dogs die and new ones are brought.

    They would need people to take samples from dogs where the owners have consented to allow their dogs to be registered.

    They would need to employ administrators to track down and contact owners and some legal personnel if any owner disputed any DNA results.

    I know!.............Why not just employ some fucker to wander around with a shovel and pick up any shit in the first place. It’s not like the Isle of Wight hasn’t got a fair share of unemployed people.

  3. "Barking mad!"

    An intentional pun, I take it, Ken?

  4. I can see only one slight glitch in this scheme.
    You cannot retrieve DNA from shit because there's no DNA in it.
    If there are traces of intestinal wall present, then yes you can extract DNA. The testing of a pile of dog shit for traces on intestinal wall cells would take many hours if not days of lab work.
    Then you'd have to prove that the pile of dog shit, which had been left unattended for an unknown period of time had not been contaminated in any way by DNA traces from another animal (any animal).
    David Pooh's idea is a non-starter.

  5. @ Selsey.steve - OR that the 'item assessed' had been deposited exactly where found - and not transported there "on the hoof" - or someone's shoe - from a place where it WAS legal?

    *What If* - traces of horse DNA were found - would Nanny have a 'Trading Standards Duty of Care' to check that the dog's owner hadn't been supplied with mis-labelled doggie-din-dins?