Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.
Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dogs. Show all posts

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Dogs and Allotments Are Racist!


 

Welsh Nanny (aka the Welsh Labour devolved government) has her knickers in a twist over dogs and allotments.

Apparently they are racist!

Unsurprisngly the Welsh Labour Government's recent proposals to make the countryside "less racist" have sparked widespread ridicule and outrage. These plans, which include creating dog-free zones in rural areas, have been criticised as nonsensical and out of touch with the real needs of the countryside.

Dog-Free Zones: A Virtue-Signalling Farce

One of the most baffling aspects of the Welsh Labour Government's plan is the recommendation to ban dogs from parts of the countryside. This proposal, driven by environmental groups and included in the government's anti-racist agenda, has been met with incredulity. The idea that banning dogs will somehow combat racism is not only absurd but also ignores the practical realities of rural life.

Don't even get me started on the allotments (seemingly too many white women have allotments).

Unsurprisingly, these plans have been met with a strong backlash from the public and opposition parties. Critics have labeled the proposals as "outdated virtue signalling nonsense" and accused the government of being out of touch with the needs of rural communities.

The most worrying aspect of this is the fact that Starmer has said on more than one ocassion that he regards the Welsh Labour government as the blue print for the UK Labour government!


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Thursday, August 24, 2017

Nanny Seems To Be Overreacting These Days!


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Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Stick and Flick Shit


Dog owners should adopt a "stick and flick" method instead of using shit bags, according to advice from the Forestry Commission.

Discarded plastic dog waste bags are an eyesore, the organisation says, and the best approach should a pet foul on a footpath is to find a stick and flick it into the undergrowth.

The guidance was highlighted by Conservative MP Anne Main.

Now this is all very well and good, so long as Nanny can now advise as to what constitutes the "countryside", lest Nanny's greedy councils start fining dog walkers for not bagging it!

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Friday, May 13, 2016

The Dangers of Dog Food


The Guardian reports that, for reasons best known to herself, Serena Williams ate some dog food.

Staying in an hotel in Italy, Williams had her hotel prepare a special menu for her Yorkshire terrier, Chip.

On sampling it Williams told her Snapchat followers that it tasted “a little bit like a house-cleaner thing.”

Unsurprisingly she ended up in the bog.

Lesson learned?

Apparently not:
I don’t think it’s consumable for humans. They should have wrote that.”
Just remember folks just because your pet's food doesn't have a great big "not to be eaten by humnas" sign on it, doesn't mean to say that you should have a spoonful!

You can't legislate for stupid!


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Friday, November 13, 2015

Dog Shit Night Vision Goggles


Nanny's chums in Stafford Borough Council are so vexed at the amount of dog shit on the streets of Stafford, that they have given staff night vision goggles as a way to stop the ongoing battle against dog fouling.

I kid you not!

Undercover wardens will be equipped with the high-tech £200 devices, in a bid to catch out dog owners who fail to clean up after their pets during the winter months.

The equipment comes with a built in laser illuminator to improve viewing in the dark, and council staff will patrol dog fouling "hot-spots" across the town.

Wardens will be able to spy on residents using covert tactics and issue them with £75 on-the-spot fines if they are caught in the act.

Whilst dog shit is indeed a scourge, I am a tad wary of giving "enforcers" night vision goggles to spy on all and sundry. Aside from being overkill, does it not give rise to privacy concerns amongst the good people of Stafford?


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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Nanny Bans Common Sense


In  Nanny's universe common sense has long since been abolished.

Step forward Tesco, a company that is currently imploding under the stress of its own idiocy, wherein its staff shouted at a customer to remove her guide dog from its Swiss Cottage branch.

Maya Makri was recently in the Swiss Cottage shop, with her clearly marked guide dog, when she was told by staff to "never come back".

The BBC reports that she said three cashiers shouted "no pets allowed" and to leave the shop.

Tesco said:
"This clearly should never have happened and we will contact Ms Makri directly to apologise."
Why are people, especially when performing their functions in a company/organisation, so devoid of common sense?

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Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Nanny's New Dog Shit Law


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Friday, December 06, 2013

Doggy Doo Dah

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me in the direction of a "brilliant" wheeze dreamt up by Nanny's chums from Stafford Council, wrt reducing the amount of dog shit on the streets.

Stafford borough council will give anyone who provides details about dog fouling the full £75 from a resulting fixed penalty, or the same amount if the information leads to a successful prosecution and a larger fine.

I concur that dog shit is a curse of many a park and pavement. However, I wonder about the wisdom of financially incentivising people to report it. I am also unclear as to how the reports provided by dog shit vigilantes could be proven.

What are your views on this?


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Thursday, August 22, 2013

Islington Council In The Shit



It comes as no surprise to me, and doubtless no surprise to my loyal readers, to see another council swathing itself in shit (quite literally this time).

Step forward Islington council, which has been forced to disband its 22 man "dog squad" (the largest in the country).

What did the dog squad do?

In theory it was meant to fine people for allowing their dogs to befoul the pavements etc.

The cost of said squad, according to the Taxpayers' Alliance, was £240K in a three month period from May 2012. Unfortunately the number of fines issued by the squad during 2012/13 was 36 (10 less than the previous year sans squad).

The council claims that the scheme has been ‘money well spent’ and ‘an enormous success in changing people’s behaviour’.

They would say that, wouldn't they?

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Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Nanny Bans Sticks


I sometimes wonder if Nanny will one day cease to surprise me with her absurd risk averse advice and rulings.

The answer, thus far, is no she has not ceased to surprise me.

Today I read with some incredulity.....the exact phrase was "FFS!"...... that throwing sticks for your dog to chase is in fact a health and safety risk to dogs.

Robin Hargreaves, President elect of the British Veterinary Association, said owners risk causing 'horrendous problems’ to their pets.

I don't doubt that on occasions accidents with wooden sticks happen, but people have been throwing wooden sticks for their dogs to chase for centuries without the mass extinction of the dog population occurring.

Now, we are being told that dogs should only play with rubber sticks!

Mr Hargreaves is quoted by the Telegraph:
Never throw sticks for dogs.

It is a violent incident that causes real damage. We have some horrendous problems. Even if you do it now, never do it again.”
The most common injury occurs when a dog runs onto a stick in the ground, forcing it down their throat and cutting under the tongue or even tearing the gullet further back.
It is very painful.

Imagine ramming a toothbrush at the end of your mouth except it is spiky and sharp.

Every generation thinks throwing a stick to a dog is the best thing. It never seems to get into national psyche it is a bad thing to do. Use a ball, rubber bones or soft toys.” 
I am a pussy lover myself, but am aware that dogs are exposed to all manner of risks, aside from wooden sticks, they are more than happy to chew slippers and other shit that can hardly be considering to be healthy.

What should a dog (or cat) owner do, remove all forms of stimulation so that the dog (cat) doesn't injure itself?

I know that we do that for our kids these days, but surely the dogs (and cats) can be left to enjoy their lives as nature intended?

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Monday, March 25, 2013

Nanny's Shit Database


I am highly gemused to see that Nanny intends to expand her ever growing network of databases.

This time she intends to create one containing dog shit.

Yes, you did read that correctly!

Nanny's chums from the Isle of Wight Council want to create a database containing the DNA taken from dog shit.

For why?

Seemingly this will be used to prosecute dog owners who allow their mutts to befoul (there's a good word!) the pavements.

David Pugh, leader of the Isle of Wight Council, as per the Telegraph told a council meeting:
"We could test samples against the database and trace it to the dog's owner. I imagine we would see an immediate cessation to the problem. 

It's something we would have to pilot, and I'm not wishing to make policy on the hoof."
Seemingly the shit can be matched to individual dogs using samples of fur or saliva taken from animals.

Owners must give consent for the DNA sample to be taken from their pet, but it can them remain on the database for the rest of their life.

Well, given that permission is required first, I don't see this as getting anywhere.

I would also ask that, given that we are facing years of austerity and cuts, where exactly is the money coming from to fund this?

Barking mad!

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Monday, February 13, 2012

Kowtowing To Hi Vis



I know that loyal readers of this site have a somewhat healthy "antipathy" towards the quasi authority status of those who don Nanny's uniform of "power", namely hi vis wearers.

However, there are some who are prone to kowtow to wearers of this garb. Therefore it should come as no surprise to anyone to learn that an "artful rapscallion" in Ramsgate has come up with a ruse, whereby he dons a hi vis jacket and pretends to be a dog warden.

What does this fake dog warden do?

Slap £50 on the spot fines on local dog owners for imaginary offences!

The local council have said that dog wardens are not empowered to issue on the spot fines. I dare say that is true. Unfortunately Nanny has empowered many other "wardens/community officers etc" with the power to slap fines on us that it hard to tell them apart.

I dare say Nanny will, in due course, empower dog wardens with the "right" to issue fines!

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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Hair of The Dog

I never cease to be amazed at how deranged our local councils are. Yet even I am more than gobsmacked by what Nottingham City Council did to Roy Wyre last week.

Mr Wyre was walking his dog Spencer, and for reasons best known to Mr Wyre he was wearing a hi viz vest.

One of Nanny's Community Protection Officers (whatever that means) took exception to a non council human wearing the symbol of the state, and decided to ask Mr Wyre why he was wearing it etc.

Having finished discussing the hi viz jacket the CPO then fined Mr Wyre £75.

For why?

For  dropping dog fur (he was brushing Spencer) in a public place!

Ker Farking Ching!

Understandably this outrageous fine received some negative publicity, and Nottingham Council have now cancelled it and apologised to Mr Wyre for being utter knobheads!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Excessive!

WTF
I was sorry to read of the sad outcome of a dispute between an elderly pensioner (Pauline Spoor of Hattersley, Greater Manchester) and the RSPCA over her old frail dog Dexter (18).

Dexter was suffering from severe arthritis and conjunctivitis, and in the opinion of the professionals needed to be put down to be out of his misery. Mrs Spoor, being human, couldn't bear to have her companion put down.

In May the RSPCA alerted the polcie to the dog's plight, and they duly broke into Mrs Spoor's home and placed Dexter with the RSPCA who put him down.

Mrs Spoor was then taken to court and convicted of animal cruelty. She was sentenced to wear an electronic tag on her ankle, and given a 3 month curfew preventing her from leaving her home at night.

Why would a frail elderly woman living in Manchester want to leave her home at night?

It seems to me that the above sentence is disproportionate to the circumstances. Sadly, this case has been ignored as certain publicity seeking politicians seem more concerned with trying to lessen the sentences handed out to morons who try to start riots using Faecesbook.

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Friday, February 11, 2011

The ASBone



My sympathies to Bodhi, a four-year-old Lakeland Terrier, who resides in my home town of Brighton.

Bodhi has fallen foul of the rules imposed by Nanny's chums on our local council, and may be given an ASBO.

Bodhi's crime?

Bodhi likes to use a skateboard when out and about with companion (is it pc to say "owner"?) Jonathan Fell.

Sadly, because when Bodhi uses the skateboard with no lead is attached, the council deem that Bodhi is "out of control".

The council claim that their actions are for the safety of the general public, and has arisen because of a complaint made by one member of the public.

Bodhi is still allowed to skateboard in local parks.

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Friday, July 02, 2010

Length Matters

Pump
It never ceases to amaze me how absurdly fussy and petty Nanny can become when the mood takes her.

Wardens in Greater Manchester have recently been ordered to target any dog owners using leads longer than 6ft 8in. In the event the length (can I say "length"?) exceeds that measure (and why is it 6ft 8in? Why not 6ft or 7ft?), the hapless owner will be fined £1K.

Ker Farking Ching!

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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Dog's Bollocks

The Dog's BollocksI see that on the 9th of November, our illustrious MPs discussed (or rather "read") this weighty issue!

Surely they not have rather more pressing issues to discuss?

How would Nanny enforce this one then?

Letterbox inspectors and letterbox fines?

Labour Spies

Ker Farking Ching!

Preliminary Business
Notice of Presentation of Bill
1 INSTALLATION OF LETTER BOX GUARDS (PROTECTION FROM DOGS)

[No debate]

Ann Coffey

Bill to require householders to fit a letter box guard if they are in possession of a dog; and for connected purposes.

Formal first reading: no debate or decision.

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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Rebel

Rebel
Tayside police force has been forced to apologise after complaints that an advert featuring a German shepherd puppy could be offensive to members of the local Muslim community.

Tayside Police used a picture of 29-week-old black puppy "Rebel" on postcards promoting the force's new non-emergency telephone number.

However, Mohammed Asif, a member of the Tayside Joint Police Board and a Dundee councillor raised an objection saying that it would "not be welcomed" by some communities.

Mr Asif said some shopkeepers would not display the postcard as a result.

The police said:

"We did not seek advice from the force's diversity adviser prior to publishing and distributing the postcards.

That was an oversight and we apologise for any offence caused
."

Isn't this rather an over reaction?

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Monday, June 23, 2008

The Dangers of Dogs

The Dangers of DogsCave Canem!

Nanny, it seems, is no dog lover.

No real surprises there then!

Nanny's health and safety gestapo, using the EU as their excuse, have decreed that dogs and farmhouse bed and breakfasts do not mix. Therefore Nanny wants to ban dogs from their owners' kitchens.

Nanny would have us believe that the animal poses a potential health and safety hazard to guests' food. I am a pussy man myself, but if I were at a farmhouse B&B I would expect there to be animals in the general area (it would be a funny kind of farm without animals!) and would not be horrified to see a dog in the kitchen.

It seems to me that if you want a 5 star luxury hotel, sanitised and sparkling, then you book yourself into a 5 star hotel not a farmhouse B&B.

Nanny's health inspectors are having none of it, and are using new EU food hygiene laws which put small B&Bs into the same category as hotels and restaurants, to have pets banned from kitchens.

Nanny's first blood occurred in Dorset, where the owner had to give assurances to his local authority that his dog would not be in the kitchen at breakfast time.

David Weston, chairman of the British Bed and Breakfast Association, is none too impressed with this nonsense and notes that he has never come across any previous case of food poisoning by dog hair before.

Quote:

"This new law covers food businesses and because a bed and breakfast serves food, they fall into that category.

The regulations weren't designed to cover people's homes, which is essentially what a bed and breakfast is.

Most of our members practise good standards of cleanliness anyway. We think the regulations should be enforced in a commonsense way.

When there is a dog in the corner of the room and nowhere near the food surface area, then we don't feel that is a threat or a danger to health
."

Unfortunately, Nanny does not do "common sense".

Will John, the principal environmental health officer at West Dorset District Council, said that farmhouse kitchens are a 'high risk' food preparation area.

"Most people would agree it is not hygienic to have animals in kitchens where food is being prepared.

A bed and breakfast may be somebody's home, but once a room is used to prepare high-risk food that is going to be sold to members of the public, it takes on a different meaning
."

Good grief!

He clearly doesn't live on this planet.

How many thousands of people have died each year from dog hairs in their B&B bacon and eggs?

How many people who own a pet, manage to prevent them from entering the kitchen?

This is complete bollocks!

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

Prats of The Week

Prats of The WeekIt has been a while since I have awarded my prestigious, and much sought after, "Prats of The Week" Award. The time is now right to make another award.

This week it goes to my old friends at Croydon Council (I seem to recall awarding them this a while ago, once in August and once in June, something of a hat trick now).

Anyhoo, what have they been up to this time I hear you ask.

Well they have created an online site that is truly barking mad, and a complete waste of money.

The venerable citizens of my fine borough can now report a barking dog to the council online, yes that's right, online!

Just pop along to the special website (Report a Barking Dog), click on the location of the dog by entering co-ordinates or using the map, and Bob's your uncle!

You then have a number of pages to fill in; where you can attach pictures, log barking times etc etc.

A snoop's paradise!

Needless to say, I can guarantee that nothing of any consequence will happen. After all, will not the annoying mutt simply have moved on by the time the dog barking patrol arrives?

I would also venture to suggest that this is a very nice entree for the council to start other online "report your neighbour" sites eg; noisy neighbours, arguing neighbours, smelly neighbours the list is endless.

Nanny wants to encourage us all to start reporting on each other, a very dangerous road to travel.

Croydon Council, well deserving Prats of The Week

Those of you who would like to learn more about my borough, should visit:

-www.croydoniscrap.com

-www.catarena.org