Welsh Nanny To Ban Tea and Coffee for Under 16s

 

Under 16s in Wales could be banned from buying tea and coffee as part of options being considered by Welsh Nanny in an effort to make young people healthier and stop rising obesity rates.

There are concerns that the rising consumption of high-caffeine energy drinks is affecting students' educations.Now, the Welsh Government has confirmed that the consultation on the proposal to end sales of energy drinks to children also asks whether the plan "should be widened to consider other drinks typically high in caffeine such as tea and coffee". 

I think Welsh Nanny needs to lie down in a dark room with a wet towel over her head!

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Nanny Loves Avocados

My sympathies to the good people of Costa Coffee, who have unwittingly annoyed the avocado eating classes.

Nanny's chums from ASA have banned an advert for Costa Coffee, which urged customers to buy a bacon roll rather than avocados.

The radio ad featured a voiceover which said there was "a great deal on ripen-at-home avocados" but they will only "be ready to eat for about 10 minutes then they'll go off".

The voice told people to choose the "better deal" of a roll or egg muffin.

A grand total of TWO listeners (who evidently do not have a life) complained that the ad, which aired in June, discouraged people from opting for fresh fruit.

The advertising watchdog agreed with the complaints and upheld them.

Costa said their ad played on the "frustration and unpredictability of the avocado".

The chain claimed it was not suggesting that listeners must choose between the two breakfast options, but that it was instead telling people about their promotional offer.

ASA said:

"We considered that, although the ad was light-hearted, it nevertheless suggested avocados were a poor breakfast choice, and that a bacon roll or egg muffin would be a better alternative, and in doing so discouraged the selection of avocados."

I am surprised that Nanny is so fond of avocados, given their high saturated fat and calorie content!

As I noted in January, an avocado contains more calories than a can of coke!

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Nanny To Tax Coffee

Hot on the heels of last week's sugar tax, which Nanny claimed was to reduce childhood obesity, the anti sugar Gestapo are now setting their sites on coffee (how is that kid related?).

Caramel lattes and other coffees full of sugar, as well as milkshakes and squash, should be the next target of a government crackdown.

Tam Fry, chairman of the National Obesity Forum, blamed the “out of home” sector for dragging its feet as he took aim at drinks such as caramel lattes.

He is quoted by The Times:

“Lacing coffee with so much sugar is ridiculous.” 

Fry said these drinks should be sweetened artificially instead.

Two small, but significant points:

1 Kids tend not to gorge on coffee, hence Nanny' has lied to us that the sugar tax was aimed at kids.

2 It's not Fry's fucking business how much sugar people choose to add to their coffee!
 

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Hot Drinks Cause Cancer - Probably!

The World Health Organisation (WHO), the organisation that spread aids in Africa via infected needles and that has mismanaged the Ebola and Zika outbreaks, has decreed that hot drinks "probably" cause cancer.

In other words they don't know!

Not withstanding the fact that WHO hasn't a clue, it has decreed that hot drinks should always be left for a few minutes to lower the temperature, or cooled down with milk to avoid disease.

The International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), an agency of the WHO, said very hot drinks of 65C and over double the risk of developing cancer of the oesophagus.

However, the panel found there was no evidence that coffee or tea causes cancer and said any link was because of the hot temperature of the drink. Ironically, a few years ago, IARC claimed that coffee did cause cancer!

Dr Christopher Wild, director of IARC, is quoted by the Telegraph:

"These results suggest that drinking very hot beverages is one probable cause of oesophageal cancer and that it is the temperature, rather than the drinks themselves, that appears to be responsible."

Aside from the word "probable" destroying any facet of credibility of this so called "research", who the fark drinks liquids at 65 degrees plus?

That's too bloody hot, you would burn yourself!

The WHO should focus on sorting out the mess it has created wrt Zika and Ebola, instead of sticking its nose into peoples hot beverages!

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Compulsory Coffee Lids

Just bought a Costa coffee. Said I didn't want the lid. Barista said "I have to give you one for Health & Safety".

— Roger Helmer (@RogerHelmerMEP) May 5, 2015

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Coffee Is Good For You - Maybe

I love farking science!

One day we are told that coffee is bad for your heart, and that the caffeine contained within it is addictive. Another day we are told that coffee is good for you.

Research conducted in Korea, and published in the journal Heart, now suggests that drinking a few cups of coffee a day may help people avoid clogged arteries.

However, some studies have linked consumption to heart risk factors such as raised cholesterol or blood pressure.

Guess what?

There is no conclusive evidence either way!

As ever with research, trying to come to a "one size fits all" conclusion simply doesn't work. Indeed British Nanny doesn't like having her advice about the dangers of coffee undermined, especially by non Brits.

Victoria Taylor of the British Heart Foundation is quoted by the BBC:

"While this study does highlight a potential link between coffee consumption and lower risk of developing clogged arteries, more research is needed to confirm these findings and understand what the reason is for the association. 

We need to take care when generalising these results because it is based on the South Korean population, who have different diet and lifestyle habits to people in the UK."

Thus, as with all research and conclusions drawn by Nanny's vested interests, it is better to ignore the research and simply indulge in your pleasures with common sense, moderation and balance (allowing for the occasional binge).

After all, we are all going to die one day no matter how abstemious we are!

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The Joy of Caffeine

As loyal readers know, Nanny has numerous bees in numerous bonnets about food, drink and drugs.

She likes nothing more than to try to ban us from imbibing something that she defines as "dangerous". The reality being that, much like religious zealots, Nanny hates things that give people pleasure.

Like it or not human beings are genetically programmed to seek out things that give pleasure.

Why?

At a guess I would say that it is in order to maintain our sanity, and to divert us from realising that 70 years or so of living on a rotating sphere in an ever expanding universe that is 13 billion years old is all that there is.

Anyhoo, that aside, I see that Nanny recently got over excited about another dangerous drug; this one being caffeine.

Step forward Dr Jack James editor in chief of the Journal of Caffeine Research (there's a magazine devoted to caffeine? Good grief don't these people have lives?), who says says that the stimulant is causing ‘untimely deaths’ and that its 'lethality' is being underestimated.

Well I dare say that, like any other drug/food, if you overdose on it you will damage/kill yourself.

However, sensible people who have half a brain in their heads tend not to overdose on caffeine and manage to live their lives into a "happy/healthy" old age, where their only fear is being taken into care by Nanny.

Anyhoo, Dr James believes the risks caffeine poses to our health are so great that products that contain it should be taxed and restricted like cigarettes and alcohol. Sales to children in particular should be restricted.

Yawn.

The fact that it is found in all sorts of things, even cold remedies, is of particularly concern to him.

Well personally speaking I rarely drink coffee (only the occasional Irish coffee), therefore my caffeine intake is restricted to the coke that I mix with my vodka and the occasional cold remedy that I take.

That being said, I fail to see why yet another substance that the vast majority of people use without any ill effects should be treated as an illicit and dangerous threat to our well being.

Rather amusingly he also notes that caffeine is used as a cutting agent in illegal drugs.

Errmmm...so he wants to tax the legal drug in the illegal drug?

How's that going to work then??

Oh, and of particular amusement is the "research" that shows that caffeine increases the risk of having unprotected sex!

It's extremely simple, eat, drink, smoke, snort whatever you want; but in moderation. Those who overdo things will, by definition, cause harm to themselves; but sensible people know that already!


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Nanny Bans Coffee Again!

In December 2010 I wrote the following:

"I see that the health and safety gestapo have identified another "threat" to children. This time the "threat" comes in the form of tea and coffee served at "coffee mornings" hosted in childrens' centres.

Mill Hill Children's Centre, Waterlooville Hampshire, is the latest childrens' centre to fall under the jackboot of the health and safety brigade. Despite having served tea and coffee to adults, who take their kids there for some 7 years (for an entry fee of £1), hot drinks are now banned (ironically the £1 charge remains!).

The fact that people drink tea and coffee at home seems to have escaped Nanny, as does the fact that the risk of a kid having a cup of coffee dropped on him/her is considerably less than the risk of the kid being injured in a car crash whilst being driven to a "coffee morning".

Knobheads!"

Well here we are in March 2012 and I see that the health and safety gestapo have again donned their jackboots and banned coffee yet again.

Nanny's chums from Warwickshire County Council recently sent "officers" to a mum's and children's playgroup called "Coffee and Play" at Stratford-upon-Avon and have ordered the group to change its name to "Baby Play" and banned the serving of coffee and biscuits.

The coffee has been banned because of "health and safety" rules, and the group has been told to serve breadsticks and fruit instead of biscuits (for "health" reasons).

The group has been running for five years, and not one child has yet been injured by coffee. However, the council gestapo are adamant; coffee is banned!

Vicky Kersey, children’s centre officer at the county council said:

“To minimise any risk of scalding a child we have introduced a hot drinks policy at all of the county's children's centres."

As I noted in 2010:

"The fact that people drink tea and coffee at home seems to have escaped Nanny, as does the fact that the risk of a kid having a cup of coffee dropped on him/her is considerably less than the risk of the kid being injured in a car crash whilst being driven to a "coffee morning".
Knobheads!"

Warwickshire County Council should be told to fuck off!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Stroke

Those of you who enjoy the seemingly innocent pleasures of coffee, sex and blowing your nose may soon find that Nanny is looking to ban them.

Seemingly research carried out by the University Medical Center in Utrecht has identified that those innocent pleasures may well increase the risk of a burst blood vessel in the brain, thus leading to a stroke.

Can't say that I have ever tried all three at once.

Anyhoo, make the most of these pleasures whilst you can!

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Nanny Bans Coffee

I see that the health and safety gestapo have identified another "threat" to children. This time the "threat" comes in the form of tea and coffee served at "coffee mornings" hosted in childrens' centres.

Mill Hill Children's Centre, Waterlooville Hampshire, is the latest childrens' centre to fall under the jackboot of the health and safety brigade. Despite having served tea and coffee to adults, who take their kids there for some 7 years (for an entry fee of £1), hot drinks are now banned (ironically the £1 charge remains!).

The fact that people drink tea and coffee at home seems to have escaped Nanny, as does the fact that the risk of a kid having a cup of coffee dropped on him/her is considerably less than the risk of the kid being injured in a car crash whilst being driven to a "coffee morning".

Knobheads!

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The Joy of Coffee

I see that tea and coffee are now deemed to be good for you.

I am not a coffee/tea drinker normally.

However, I would concur that when I drink several Irish coffees at the end of a meal I feel very "tip top" and "chipper" indeed. I also imagine it is very good for burning off the calories, as my heart rate certainly shoots up and I feel decidedly frisky:)

Have it large this weekend!

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Fishy Fishy!

Joan Higgins (owner of Major's Pets Greater Manchester) fell foul of Nanny's jobsworths recently, and was electronically tagged.

Her crime?

She sold a goldfish to a 15 year old boy!

The law requires that animals cannot be sold to under 16s, unless they are accompanied by an adult.

Nanny's chums from Trafford Council had heard rumours that she had sold a gerbil to an underage girl with learning difficulties, who later dropped it into a cup of coffee. Therefore they sent in the boy to test the system.

Ms Higgins was tagged because she is not fit enough to perform community service.

During the "sting operation", an animal welfare officer also noticed a cockatiel in the store that appeared in distress and, when examined, was found to have a broken leg and eye problem.

Higgins was fined £1K and ordered to stay in her house between 1800 and 0700.

I don't like to see animals suffer, and assume that the sentence (taking into account the suffering of the cockatiel) is reasonable. However, the sting operation used by the council (that in effect was entrapment) used to test the system sits uncomfortably in a democracy.

The suffering of the cockatiel could have been identified by a simple visit (open and above board) by the animal welfare officer. Fishing for criminal activity, in the hope of finding something, is not a path that councils should be travelling.

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Prats of The Week - Scottish Labour

Tis a gloomy, wet Monday morning.

Another week is upon us, reappearing with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.

Therefore my loyal readers it is time to award my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to Scottish Labour, who have gone to new extremes of Nannyism.

Isn't funny how Nanny's most extreme supporters all seem to reside in the Labour part of the Scottish Parliament?

Anyhoo, fresh from the recent furore over "Buckie", and the ongoing moaning and rumbles against booze, Scottish Labour have decided that caffeine mixed with booze (eg as you would find in a "Buckie") simply is the worst evil on the planet.

Their solution?

Surely you can guess?

Yes, that's right, they intend to ban (or at least restrict) caffeine in alcoholic drinks.

Strathclyde Police blame most of Scotland's drink related crime on "Buckie" (a bottle of which contains the caffeine equivalent of 8 cans of cola).

As noted before, it sound a most efficacious drink to me!

Scottish Labour health spokeswoman Jackie Baillie said:

"I believe the risks involved in consuming caffeinated alcohol are so great that the Scottish government must take action.

The research suggests you are more likely to end up in hospital or be assaulted if you drink these products."

Bollocks!

I consume, on an occasional basis, several stiff Irish coffees after a good meal drinkies. The worst that happens to me is that I don't sleep and talk a lot (quality conversation I would add).

- I do not commit violent crime.

- I do not urinate/vomit in public.

- I do not assault people.

- I do not rob people.

- I do not abuse people.

- I do not put my feet up of bus/train seats.

- I do not pass out.

It's not the drink that turns these scrotes into feral behaving scrotes, they are already feral behaving scrotes (with or without the drink).

Factoid: Buckie accounts for 0.5% of all alcoholic drinks bought in Scotland.

The law, were it to be enacted, would be unworkable.

All you have to do is, eg mix alcohol with coffee (Irish coffees) or mix it with other caffeine based drinks such as Lucozade (vodka and Lucozade is rather "peppy" actually!...Benylin and vodka is also rather efficacious). Worst case scenario, just pop a couple of Pro Plus pills before going out on the piss.

A totally unworkable and unenforceable law.

Unless, that is, Nanny is going to start testing people for blood/caffeine levels!

Will the members of Scottish Labour be giving up their coffee and liqueurs after dinner?

No, I thought not!

Scottish Labour, well deserving Prats of The Week.

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The Joys of Buckie

I see that the Strathclyde police and some bishop are blaming the good monks of Buckfast Abbey in Devon for 450 violent crimes in Scotland over the past 3 years.

Eh?

It seems that the police et al are blaming these violent crimes on the drink produced by the monks called Buckfast Tonic Wine (aka "Buckie").

Buckie is around 15%, and has a caffeine content equivalent to around 16 cans of coke.

Its sounds like a splendid drink to me, much cheaper than downing a few Irish coffees at the end of a meal.

Notwithstanding its obvious tonic and restorative powers, Nanny is blaming it for causing 450 violent crimes over the last 3 years; Nanny even claims that people are using the bottles as weapons.

All well and good, but here are a few factoids to give Nanny a slap with:

1 People cause crimes, not booze. I can drink a bucket load of Irish coffees at the end of an evening, but I don't go round hitting people or "glassing" them afterwards.

2 Bottles in any shape or form can be used to "glass" people with. Why not ban glass altogether?

3 The monks do not force feed the scrotes who drink this stuff who them go on to commit violent crimes.

4 Ban Buckie, and the scrotes will start using toilet cleaner or something else. The issue is not the drink, but the scrotes themselves.

5 The same effect can be had by downing a few vodkas and cans of Red Bull, doubtless that will be next on the banning list if Buckie goes.

My advice is to stock up on your Buckies now, lest Nanny tries to ban it.

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Nanny's Nasty Little Habit II

I was pondering how to bring about change in this country last night, whilst out on the town.

After consuming healthy quantities of brandies and Irish coffees I had something of an epiphany.

It is clear that our current politicians (whatever their claimed political allegiance) are a waste of space. They have let us down big time, and have only loyalty to themselves and the political club that they belong to. Our interests are not at all served by these self serving intellectually stunted pygmies.

To this end, despite my suggestion yesterday that we should only vote for those politicians who promise to repeal Nanny's laws, it will be utterly pointless to trust any politician whatever they may promise.

The only way to bring about change is to administer shock therapy to the "body politic", and scare the hell out of these useless individuals.

What would possibly scare them?

Voting for people who are not politicians.

Eh?

The only thing that these guys really fear, is being made to look irrelevant.

This requires people to stand for parliament who are not politicians, who do not belong to a political party and who do not intend to do anything other than repeal laws.

In other words their only action in parliament will be to repeal laws, they will not make any new ones.

I guarantee that the country will run better for this, plus it will show how utterly irrelevant politicians really are.

That will scare the hell out of the current lot.

What say you my loyal readers?

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The Dangers of Balloons

Congratulations to Nanny's Health and Safety Gestapo for once again making utter twats of themselves.

Danny Philpott, a cafe owner in Paignton, fell foul of the Gestapo this week when he tied two balloons to a signpost outside of his cafe to promote his fund-raising coffee morning in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support.

Unfortunately Torbay Council has spies everywhere and, having been alerted to these two extremely "dangerous" balloons (of normal size I would note), they told Mr Philpott to remove them.

For why?

Seemingly, in the eyes of the brain dead council, the two balloons could be deemed to be a hazard to motorists.

How?

The knobheads from the council are of the view that the balloons could obscure a "loading only" sign, thus leading to dangerous or "illegal" parking.

Utter prats by anyone's standards!

When Mr Philpott refused to remove them, the council "official" informed him that he could have him arrested.

Mr Philpott still refused, and now has a court order for his pains.

As ever we see councils using draconian powers over minor matters, that could just be left to resolve themselves. All Mr Philpott wanted to do was leave the balloons up for the day, he would then have taken them down.

Local councils have taken powers and responsibilities that are well beyond their remit, and abilities (let's face it they are not "best in class" when it comes to quality); ie they are well above themselves.

It is time that they were given a good dressing down, their powers removed and are put firmly back in their box.

BTW, Torbay Council is a Tory council.

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

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Physician Heal Thyself!

I am hugely amused to read that a large percentage of Nanny's health care operatives, the very same people who lecture us about our smoking, drinking and eating and who ask us personal questions about our eating/drinking, have been described by Nanny as being unfit and fat.

Oh the irony!

Nanny is concerned that the "right image" is not really being portrayed by an NHS staffed by doctors, nurses and others who are overweight, drink too much, smoke fags and indulge in other substances. She is alos worried that, whne compared to the rest of the popultaion, a higher than average number of working days are lost in the NHS by sick days.

As I have noted many times on this site, doctors and their associates have a higher percentage of smokers, drinkers and drug takers than other sections of society (politicians excluded, who are "prime examples" of health and self denial - or abuse).

To be told by doctors how we should live our lives is, to say the least, "wearisome"!

On a related note, I was amused by the comment made to me by one of the receptionists at my local LA Fitness yesterday.

As I was collecting my towel she asked if I was "training".

I replied that I was swimming.

She said, and I did not know this (but as she was wearing the company T shirt, she must be a health expert), that anything that raises the heart rate is training.

Well, stap my vitals!

Every time I dine out and have 4 Irish coffees, to round off my meal, my heart rate goes up and I feel well "primed".

So that means drinking Irish coffees must be as an effective a workout as swimming!

Great!

Physician Heal Thyself!

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Won't Somone Think of The Children? II

I see that Nanny, as child centred as ever, has found another way to ban adults from the adult world so that Nanny's precious children can "roam free" without ever having to mix with adults or obey their rules.

A group of pensioners (over 50's to be precise) from Eye (near Peterborough) have been holding regular coffee mornings each week in their local library for the last 4 years.

So far so good!

Now children, can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right Nanny has now banned them from having their coffee mornings.

Can you guess for why?

Health and Safety!

It seems that a toddler group now also uses the library, and Nanny (from Peterborough City Council) has decreed that the health and safety risk of a pensioner (note the coffee mornings are open to all who are over 50) spilling hot coffee on a toddler is just too great.

The toddlers started using the library a few weeks ago, and under Nanny's child centric policies must have priority over all adults. The irony is that the coffee drinking part of the coffee morning is actually over before the toddlers arrive.

The solution is simple, and obvious, ban the children from coming in to the library at the same time as the adults.

Nanny insists that all policy in the country is "child centric", it is high time that Nanny realised that this country should be run for the benefit of the adults not the children.

BTW, this is of course a Tory council!

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

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Only in Sweden

I don't normally write about Nannyism abroad, as we have more than enough of it here.

However, the story about birthday party invites to a child's birthday party in Sweden (my old domicile 1996-2000) made me spit out my imaginary cup of coffee all over my imaginary trousers (I write very freely when I sit at this keyboard;)).

An eight-year-old boy in Lund handed out invites at school to his friends for his birthday party. However, he chose not to invite two of his classmates.

Fair enough!

Not in Sweden!

The boy's school says that he has violated the children's rights, they confiscated the party invites and complained to the Swedish Parliament. The school argues that if invitations are handed out on school premises then it must ensure there is no discrimination.

The boy's father, quite rightly, has lodged a complaint with the parliamentary ombudsman. He says the two children were left out, because one did not invite his son to his own party and he had fallen out with the other one.

A verdict on the matter is likely to be reached in September.

How long I wonder before the brain dead morons running this country try the same thing here?

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The Trouble With Gin

What is a gentleman of my quality, such as myself, meant to do when confronted with the frim task of having to travel on Network Snail?

Well, in theory, the answer is simple; buy a large gin and tonic from one of Network Snail's purveyors of food and drink and consume it on the train.

Ah, if only life were that simple!

Last Friday evening, I had cause to leave Croyodonia and travel to Londinium.

On platform 1 of East Croydonia station I went to the SSP outlet to buy a gin and tonic.

SSP, on their website, describe themselves as follows:

"SSP is the leading dedicated operator of food and beverage brands in travel locations worldwide. We have a long heritage in food and travel, with over 60 years experience in the industry.

All our operations feature a mix of food and beverage brands tailored specifically for each location."

Pah!

It should come as no surprise to you to learn that their "expertise" does not extend to having sufficient stocks of gin and tonic to sate my needs.

Indeed, SSP's outlet in the hinterlands of Croydonia has been bereft of gin and tonic for the last 7 weeks. Despite the fact that I have complained and filled in numerous "customer care" forms, they still have failed to replenish stocks.

They are to be congratulated, for they have now been awarded my prestigious "Worse Than WorthlessAward".

However, I digress, allow me to get to the point.

I made do with buying a vodka and tonic.

SSP, being completely useless, did not even have a plastic cup for me to drink this from, but instead proffered me a waxed paper coffee cup!

Good grief!

As I consumed my vodka from this waxed receptacle, I read the following waring:

"Caution contents hot"

Why does Nanny think that people need a warning that a coffee cup would contain a hot liquid?

What possible added value does this warning convey?

What use was it to me with my vodka and tonic?

What a bunch of pussies we have become!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries