Nanny Knows Best
Tuesday, August 02, 2016
The Dangers of The Olympics
Those who follow Nanny's exaltations would be forgiven for believing that sport is a healthy activity that leads to all manner of life improving benefits (both mental and physical).
Yet, for the athletes heading to Rio for the Olympics, this appears not to be so. Aside from the risk of catching Zika and breathing Rio's heavily polluted air, the hapless healthy athlete also have to contend with massively polluted waterways and beaches.
Whoever said that athletes lead healthy lives?
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Friday, July 27, 2012
The Dangers of Bells
I think Nanny should ban bells or, at the very least, Jeremy Hunt on health and safety grounds!
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Wednesday, July 18, 2012
The Inactivity Pandemic
I am gemused to read that the Lancet is warning us that there is an "Inactivity Pandemic".
What the fark?
Seemingly, if the "research" is to be believed, lack of exercise is now causing as many deaths as smoking across the world.
A report, published in the Lancet (needless to say to coincide with the Olympics which has corporate sponsors such as McDonald's and Coke), estimates that about a third of adults are not doing enough physical activity; causing 5.3m deaths a year.
Researchers want the problem treated as a pandemic, and they recommend that Nanny warns us about the dangers of inactivity rather than just reminds us of the benefits of being active.
I have a far better solution, Nanny should proactively encourage us all to take up smoking:
1 The exercise from going to buy a packet of fags, from coughing vigorously each morning and from lifting a fag to our mouths will surely increase our metabolism.
2 The increase in deaths brought about by smoking will skew the statistics favourably towards smoking, rather than inactivity, as being the prime killer.
Problem solved!
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The Olympics - Jeremy Clarkson Speaks
Anyone care to hazard a guess as to how long it will take for some "no life idiot" to complain about Clarkson's comments, and for Clarkson to be subjected to some daft police investigation and forced into an insincere apology?
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Saturday, July 14, 2012
G4S Clusterfuck
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Thursday, July 12, 2012
G4S Knobheads of The Millennium
Congratulations to G4S for winning my rarely awarded, yet highly prized, Knobheads of The Millennium Award.
For why?
Have a wee look here on my Olympics site and in Metro, and note especially what I say in the final paragraphs:
"Were the Olympics being run in transparent and open manner the taxpayers (who are paying for this corporate marketing fest) would have the right to look at the contract that G4S has signed for providing security for the Games. Unfortunately the Olympics are not being run in an open and transparent manner, and the contract is not available for public scrutiny.G4S well deserving Knobheads of The Millennium!
Why are the taxpayers, who are funding the Games, not allowed to satisfy themselves that their money has been wisely spent and that contracts signed in their names have been negotiated in their best interests?
As an FCA and experienced fraud investigator I would never advise people to put money into a project/business without them at the very least seeing the contract and reviewing it thoroughly, taking advice from independent finance/legal professionals.
The government would argue that they acted in the interest of taxpayers when reviewing and negotiating the contract with G4S. However, as can be seen from this omnishambles of incompetence, it is clear that the government was not up to the job of looking after taxpayers' interests. "
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Friday, June 22, 2012
Olympics Madness
I have a sneaking suspicion that Nanny is taking the forthcoming Olympics Greedfest a little too seriously.
As Helen Perry of Bridlington discovered recently, when she made a wee joke on Faecesbook about squirting the Olympic flame out with a water pistol.
Can you guess what Nanny did children?
Yes, that's right, she was threatened with arrest by Humberside police.
Good grief!
I trust I am not alone in regarding the forthcoming Olympics as being a colossal waste of time and money?
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Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Admin Announcement Re The Olympics
For loyal readers who sometimes visit the site, it can be found at the following url www.olympicsdiary.com
Sorry for the inconvenience.
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Thursday, May 10, 2012
Nanny's Olympic Gordian Knot
I am always hugely gemused when Nanny ties herself in knots trying to be "fair and impartial" on the one hand, yet on the other trying not to "offend" anyone.
A particularly fine example of the Gordian Knots that she likes to construct for herself, is her decision to ban religious symbols from a "faith" badge designed for chaplains at the London Olympic Games.
For why?
Nanny is worried that the symbols cause offence.
How odd that religions that claim to teach tolerance and forgiveness are always so intolerant of those who have different views/religions.
The London Organising Committee of the Olympic and Paralympic Games (Locog) had asked its advisory committee of faith representatives to suggest ideas for a lapel pin, which is intended to symbolise the role of religious leaders for London 2012.
However, plans for a design featuring symbols of each of the nine faiths represented on the committee were rejected because not all religious believers would feel "comfortable" wearing symbols of other faiths.
Instead the lapel pin will simply feature the word "faith" and a globe, alongside the Olympics and Paralympics logos.
The badge will be worn by 193 faith chaplains, a Nannyesque title if ever there was one!
Frankly all this fuss and expense could have been avoided, all they need to do is wear the corporate logos of McDonald's and Coke, as it's not God or Locog that we should "thank" for the Games but the corporate sponsors!
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Thursday, April 19, 2012
Nanny Bans Sandcastles
However, I was even more ungemused to learn that the sandcastle was promptly demolished after being photographed.
For why?
Health and safety reasons!
T'was a collective decision to destroy it, taken between Locog and the local council
Then why spend all that time and money building the farking thing in the first place?
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Tuesday, March 06, 2012
Nanny Bans Handshakes
I see the knobheads in the British Olympics Association (BOA) have banned our athletes from shaking hands during the Olympics, lest they catch a bug.
We are the only nation imposing such a ban.
Make you feel proud to be British doesn't it?
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Thursday, July 21, 2011
The True Olympic Legacy
I thought that Nanny was worried about obesity?
Evidently not..read more here.
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Thursday, February 03, 2011
The Olympics Lager
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Wednesday, May 12, 2010
A Nation of Paedophiles - The Olympics
Read The Olympics Age Limit.
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Thursday, July 30, 2009
Nanny Bans Lengths
For why has it been banned?
Can't you guess children?
Yes, that's right, health and safety!
Swimmers at Dagenham Swimming Pool in Essex (run by Barking and Dagenham Council, for once not Tory but ZaNuLabour) have been banned from lengths, primarily to make the job of the life guards easier (in the event they have to pluck someone from that water).
The pool is 33.3M by 25M (hardly ginormous!), and has been open for donkey's years.
Seemingly the council are balking at the idea of having to keep an extra lifeguard on duty for lengthwise swimming.
The council claim that it's not just about health and safety, but also because "most people" don't want to swim 33.3M.
Bollocks!
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Tuesday, June 16, 2009
The Dangers of Skating Clockwise
I could not help but "titter" (can I say "titter"?) when I read this daft Nannyism a while ago. It seems that Stirling Council has a thing about ice skaters who skate clockwise.
The council deems it to be a health and safety hazard, and as such have banned clockwise skating during public skating sessions at the £27M sports complex (The Peak) which is meant to be used for training for the 2012 Olympics.
Also banned during "skate for all sessions" are; speed skating, figure skating, jumping, spinning and chains.
Not much scope for practising for the Olympics there then!
Precisely why this complex, allegedly built to help people train, needed quite so much money spent on it is therefore is a bit of a mystery.
Needless to say, the skaters are going elsewhere to train (where the rules aren't so daft).
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Thursday, January 24, 2008
Monday, November 26, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Nanny Bans Red Arrows
Oh dear, it seems that Nanny is a tad worried about upsetting foreigners and is likely to ban the Red Arrows from performing at the opening of the 2012 London Olympics.
Seemingly Nanny thinks that the Red Arrows are just "too British and too militaristic".
Pah!
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Big Bruvver
Oh dear oh dear...what is the point of a database, if the data on the database is bollocks?
That is the question that Nanny is pondering after it was revealed that her much vaunted DNA database contains over 500,000 names that are false, misspelt or incorrect.
Nanny's much "respected" and "competent" ministers have admitted that one in seven of the genetic profiles on database is a "replicate", raising alarming questions about the integrity and accuracy of the entire system.
Nanny's database contains 4 million names, it is the largest in the world.
Something to be proud of eh?
It holds details of rapists, murderers, and suspects arrested but not charged. Unfortunately a database is only as good as the data it contains, if the data is bollocks then so is the database.
Thousands asked to give their details to police, upon arrest, have given false names or alternative spellings of their names. In other cases, mistakes have been made in the spelling of names. Some files include names belonging to someone else, or names of people who do not exist. Altogether there are 550,000 "replica" files.
Needless to say these errors, aside from making Nanny and her database look ridiculous, also pose a threat to innocent people who may be ensnared by the state because their names are mistakenly on the database.
The database also contains details of 150,000 children under the age of 16, many of whom have been arrested by police but found to be innocent or not charged with any crime.
We should not be surprised at this fiasco, Nanny's record when it comes to IT projects is lamentable (to put it politely) eg the health service. Politicians should never be allowed anywhere near long term complex projects such as IT development (or indeed the Olympics), they have neither the brains, experience, qualifications or time (5 year projects run by 2 year politicians) to be involved with such things.
That being said, Nanny doesn't give a stuff; she will continue adding to her erroneous database and hang the consequences (and any poor sod mistakenly picked up by the state for having his/her name on the system)!