Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Nanny Bans Lengths

Nanny Bans LengthsAs Nanny proudly beats her breasts (can I say "breasts"?) about her forthcoming Olympic propaganda show in 2012, it comes as more than a surprise to me to read that one of her local councils has deemed that that the swimming of lengths in the local council pool (kind of useful for those training for sporting success, or just wanting to keep fit) has been banned.

For why has it been banned?

Can't you guess children?

Yes, that's right, health and safety!

Swimmers at Dagenham Swimming Pool in Essex (run by Barking and Dagenham Council, for once not Tory but ZaNuLabour) have been banned from lengths, primarily to make the job of the life guards easier (in the event they have to pluck someone from that water).

The pool is 33.3M by 25M (hardly ginormous!), and has been open for donkey's years.

Seemingly the council are balking at the idea of having to keep an extra lifeguard on duty for lengthwise swimming.

The council claim that it's not just about health and safety, but also because "most people" don't want to swim 33.3M.


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  1. You really couldn't make it up!!

    This should help our swimmers improve ready for the Olympics I don't think!!
    Most people I speak to believe we will cock up the Olympics....All athletes in hi viz vests, no throwing events as it could be dangerous.....Armies of Civil Enforcement Officers out issuing fines to Marathon runners as they disgard their drink bottles....No gold, silver nor bronze medals as all must win prizes etc etc. I think in our heart of hearts we know its going to be a farce, the cost is only exceeded by Labours ego as they use the 2012 games in much the same way as Hitler did in 1948.

  2. Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells11:12 AM

    I heard this on "Today" this morning but now I know the pool size I'm not so sure it's such a bad idea. One width of the Barking pool is 25m, which is the same as one length of a standard sized pool. So doing widths isn't really any imposition and in fact is equivalent to lengths in a short-course pool. It will also allow more room for serious lane swimmers to be segregated from the "dippers and splashers". Only problem is the lane lines will now be at right angles to the actual lanes.

    By the way, a long-course pool is the full 50m "Olympic" length.

  3. "most people" don't want to swim 33.3M.????

    My Mrs swims a mile when she goes to the pool (twice a week).
    And what about choosing for yourself.
    I love the way they blame this crap on unsubstantiated (did I spell that right?) public opinion.

    I bet it is really because the kiddies cant swim that long and its not fair on them - or some such rubbish.

    (On a lighter note, the verification word for today is Phanie. Call me childish but I did giggle)

  4. microdave11:36 AM

    Well at least the council is appropriately named...

    The article I saw this in didn't mention the actual size. I assumed that the length was considerably more than the width. Hardly the situation in this case. Surely no one is going to die in a well used pool - even if the life guard has to run/swim an extra 8.5 metres. There will be other swimmers close by.

  5. Hate to say it, but 25M or 50M is a standard 'length' for a pool, and only one of those two numbers fit in this instance...

  6. All swimming pools should be filled in. They are dangerous - someone might drown. All playing fields should be closed. Otherwise someone might be hit by a flying ball.

    Hitler, by the way, had been well and truly dead for three years in 1948. At least that's what we were told.

    I agree that the 2012 Olympics are likely to be a financial and operational fiasco and that we shall become even more of a world laughing stock than we are already.

  7. From the Minister for the Bleedin' Obvious:

    May I point out that, whether people are swimming widths or lengths, the same pool area still needs to be watched over by Nanny's lifeguard. In my day, lifeguards were always very fit, suntanned and muscular, perhaps in Nanny's bizzare world of equality and fairness, modern lifeguards only have one arm and leg or no arms nor legs; That would make them clever dicks would't it? :-))

    This is more about the citizen conditioning programme....Getting people used to obeying Nanny's rules no matter how daft they are....Baaaaah

    Yeah sorry Anticant, 1948 were the London games, Hitlers were just before the war.....Opppps corrected twice in as many days.

  8. Lord of Atlantis2:44 PM

    The Ken Marriott Leisure Centre pool, here in Rugby, is 33 and a third metres long, and I have no problem swimming lengths in it, nor do many other swimmers, including a great number of OAPs; and I am not talking about 1 or 2 lengths, but a substantial number being swum by these swimmers (including myself: sorry, but I couldn't resist the opportunity to boast)! Indeed at certain times there are lane ropes provided to allow the 'serious' swimmers to do their lengths without having to worry about other users of the pool. Yet all this only requires 2lifeguards, so cannot understand why Dagenham requires 3, unless it is to do with the width, as the pool in Rugby is only 13m wide. Perhaps the council at Dagenham are using 'elf'n' safety as an excuse not to employ sufficient lifeguards? Either way, it raises the question as to where our future Olympic hopefuls are to practice, bearing in mind that swimming in rivers and lakes is as bad as paedophilia according to our illustrious authorities.

  9. If I pay to use swimming pool I intend swimming any direction I care to choose provided I do not swim into anybody else!

    More control for the sake of control.

    How long before we need a swimming licence and of course a CRB check before being allowed in proximity with scantily clad swimmers? Some of whom may be young!

  10. Mark.V.10:03 PM

    If a swimmer is in trouble in the middle of a pool, it makes no difference whether he has been swimming lengthwise or widthwise.

  11. Mark V said "If a swimmer is in trouble in the middle of a pool, it makes no difference whether he has been swimming lengthwise or widthwise."

    My thoughts precisely