Bin Brother - Nanny Bans Pumpkin Seeds

My thanks to a loyal reader for pointing me in the direction of some post Halloween Nanny nonsense.

Now that Halloween is but a dim distant memory we may all relax until next year, that at least is what Zoe Eckersley of Knutsford thought. However, she had not reckoned on the waste disposal rules of Cheshire East Council.

When helping her children make a pumpkin lantern she scooped out the seeds and threw them in her green bin used for garden waste.

Big mistake!

Her bin was left unemptied. However, an official yellow form had been attached identifying the pumpkin seeds as the forbidden "waste".

For why?

Seemingly there was a risk of "spreading disease", in fact all home grown veg are banned from green bins by this council.

By the way the council won't empty the bin, even if she removes the seeds, until next spring.

As per the Mail Councillor David Topping, cabinet member in charge of the environment, said:

"All of our waste collection crews are trained to assess the contents of garden bins before they are emptied into the collection vehicle, and they will not be emptied if the crew find any waste that could be considered as food waste.

As garden waste was sent to local farms for composting, they could face prosecution if food waste was mixed in."

I would welcome comments from those who actually know about agriculture etc, as to my humble view the banning of pumpkin seeds on the basis of disease risk seems a tad OTT.

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"Happy" Halloween

Tis upon us again and, in keeping with the season, I have disabled my doorbell and door knocker!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Happy Halloween

Seasonal greetings everyone, on this Eve of All Hallows!

As you carve your pumpkins remember to take care not to cut yourself with that sharp knife that you are using.

Also don't forget to unplug your doorbells, so as to reduce the disruption and annoyance caused by the street begging that will occur later this evening.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dangers of Bobbing

As Halloween approaches, here is a suitably "spooky" edition of Nanny Knows Best....oooohhhhhh!!!

When I was a lad (pre internet, pre mobile phones, pre flat screen TV etc) Halloween in England was hardly celebrated, or even noted. We most certainly did not have the US custom of sending children out into the streets at night, to harass and annoy the neighbours in exchange for sweets and bribes in order to be left alone.

Oddly though, because my mum is Irish, we did hollow out a swede and stick a candle in it (pumpkins were rarely seen in the shops in the late 60's) and practice a bit of "apple bobbing" (floating apples in a bucket of water and trying to bite chunks off them).

Now, of course, things are very different. Halloween has become a vast marketing exercise whereby all manner of cheap tat is sold, vast quantities of pumpkins hollowed out and kids encouraged to make nuisances of themselves in their local neighbourhoods (factoid: I will be taking the battery out of my door bell this Halloween).

Suffice to say, whilst Nanny is happy to allow these excesses to take place, Nanny has come down hard on that most harmless of Halloween practises "apple bobbing".

Did you know there was a health and safety risk wrt "apple bobbing"?

No, I didn't either!

Anyhoo, according to ophthalmologist Parwez Hossain (from Southampton General Hospital) a "high-velocity impact with an apple" has the potential to cause serious eye injury, and dirty water could lead to infection or blindness.

He recommends:

- disinfecting water containers,
- using bottled mineral water,
- removing the apples from the water with your hands instead of your mouth,
- removing the stalks of the apples and,
- wearing goggles.

Got that everyone?

Good!

Happy Halloween!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

A Nation of Food Fadists

I was hugely gemused to read recently the a staggering one in five Britons now claims to have a food allergy or intolerance.

That is an increase of 400% in the past 20 years.

Has our gene pool been so damaged by modern day life styles that we really are this ill?

Errmm...no actually!

It transpires that these food allergies are in the main:

Bollocks!

Research conducted by Portsmouth University has shown that of those people claiming to have an allergy or intolerance, only 2% cent actually did.

In other words, 98% of people who claim to have allergies are talking bollocks.

Why has this come about?

1 Supermarkets and Z list "celebs" push over priced crapola, that they claim offers wonderful health benefits.

2 The Nanny state has created a generation of selfish, self obsessed, fearful people who think that they, or their over spoiled kids, are ill.

Unless your head swells up to the size of a pumpkin, and you turn green, then I humbly submit that eating a good variety of food and drinking a good variety of drinks will not kill you.

In fact it will make you feel on top of the world.

Eat nuts freely!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Happy Halloween

Today folks it's another Halloween.

Now, when I was a young lad the emphasis was on Bonfire Night and precious little time and attention was paid to Halloween.

I recall that my mum hollowed out some Swedes (the vegetable I would hasten to add) and put a candle in them, but that as as far as it went. Now of course we have been taken over by the US inspired commercial spend fest, that requires adults and children to spend gazillions on costumes, sweets and assorted shite.

Anyhoo, be that as it may, it is a free country...allegedly..and people should be able to do what they like, and dress up in any manner that they see fit.

Unfortunately this is Nanny Britain. At the first sign that people will be doing things that are not guided or inspired by the state, Nanny reacts in her usual "calm" "restrained" manner.

It should come as no surprise to learn that police forces up and down the country are on red alert today, as they prepare for a night that they are truly scared of. Nanny's police are issuing posters that people can put up on their doors basically telling trick and treaters to F Off!



That's all very well, but does it not occur to Nanny that this kind of thing actually encourages the more odious behaviour that she claims that she wishes to stop?

In Lancashire, for example, four control rooms have been set up by the police to monitor CCTV footage on 31 October. The Lancashire police will issue on-the-spot fines of £80 to anyone under the age of 18 found in possession of a firework, or other potentially dangerous items (eg eggs).

The UK Evangelical Alliance can't resist putting its nose into the pumpkin patch either, and has issued a warning:

"While Halloween [appears] to bring people together in fun,

in reality it is a celebration of the dead and of evil".

Ooohhh!!!

Why is Nanny so hysterical over this?

I agree, that having trick and treaters knocking at the door is a pain in the derriere..but does it require a full scale national police alert?

Nanny hates individuality, she will not be content until everything that we do is under her full control; whereby we will need formal state authorisation before we can do it.

Happy Halloween!

Nanny Bans Halloween

As the pumpkin season approaches, and ghouls, goblins and witches don their cloaks ready to scare the "living daylights" (you thought I was going to say "shit" didn't you?) out of you, one of Nanny's chums has decided to put his foot down about the whole nasty little business of Halloween.

The Bishop of Bolton, the Right Rev David Gillett, is asking Britain's retailers to stock alternatives to traditional Halloween merchandise.

Why?

In his view they are helping to create a "climate of fear".

Actually I rather thought that it was the media, aided and abetted by Nanny, that had created a real climate of fear over Muslim extremism, terrorists, obesity, global warming and bird flu etc.

Seems that I was wrong!

Anyhoo, the Right Rev David Gillett said that shops were helping to promote a "dark and negative" side of the festival.

He said:

"I share the view of many Christians

that large retailers are increasingly keen to commercialise

Halloween celebrations

in a way that pressurises parents to purchase goods

that promote the dark, negative side of Halloween

and could encourage antisocial behaviour.

I am worried that Halloween has the potential to trivialise the realities of evil in the world."

What about the far more damaging rampant consumerism and excess indulgence of Christmas then?

The bishop seems to forget that all Christian festivals are in fact linked and timed to coincide with our pagan past, a ham fisted way of trying to make us forget our past in fact.

Now we know why the Church of England is becoming an irrelevance.