Prat of The Week - Kirsten Powers

Dear white people who are upset that you can't dress up as another race or culture for Halloween: your feelings don't matter. The only feelings that matter are of those who feel disrespected/mocked by you appropriating their culture for entertainment.

Show some common decency.

— Kirsten Powers (@KirstenPowers) October 23, 2018

Disregarding the nonsense that is Halloween I have no idea who this person is, I am assuming some form of American "celeb".

However, she is talking utter bollocks.

All manner of everyday items that we wear have been "appropriated" from other cultures eg:

- jeans from the USA
- ties from Croatian mercenaries hired by Louis XIII
- buttoned shirts invented by 19th century British polo players
- shoes came from ancient Mesopotamia etc

Therefore, if you worry about appropriation you will need to stop wearing clothes!

Kirsten Powers, well deserving Prat of the Week!


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Happy Halloween

Halloween is a perverse occasion (imported from the USA), as it is the one time of the year that parents encourage their kids to wander the streets at night in fancy dress, demanding sweets from strangers.

What could possibly go wrong?

Those of you wondering what to wear for your trick or treating Halloween sugar binge can breath a sigh of relief. The University of Texas-Austin has issued a helpful guide highlighting what costumes are non pc.

Remember folks be "respectful"!

University of Texas-Austin Costume and Theme Selection Handout by The College Fix on Scribd

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Offended By Brussels

It'll soon be Halloween so time to prepare some yummy treats for the neighbourhood kids. Try dipping Brussels sprouts in chocolate for them. pic.twitter.com/HFXGA9vFSV

— Mark Sparrow (@MarkGSparrow) October 24, 2016

Commiserations to Mark Sparrow, who tweeted an amusing Halloween suggestion of dipping Brussels into chocolate and handing them to trick or treaters as a trick.

He hadn't bargained on how easily offended some people are, and ended up on the receiving end of abuse for all manner of imagined crimes eg allergy issues, "won't someone think of the children" and racism.

Here are some of the best #sproutgate replies but the entire thread is a goldmine of insanity. pic.twitter.com/FgedZSbPWW

— Mark Sparrow (@MarkGSparrow) October 27, 2016

The world is populated with some very oversensitive people who should be ignored for everyone's good!

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Halloween

It being Halloween again, I will be carving a very large pumpkin but battening down the hatches in preparation for the annual avalanche of trick or treaters (an annoying custom imported from the USA).

The only person I will be opening my door to this evening will be the Tesco delivery man, who is scheduled to deliver 96 cans of Red Stripe! I would note that, thusfar, Red Stripe cans do not besport their calorie content.

Happy Halloween everyone!

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Bin Brother - Nanny Bans Pumpkin Seeds

My thanks to a loyal reader for pointing me in the direction of some post Halloween Nanny nonsense.

Now that Halloween is but a dim distant memory we may all relax until next year, that at least is what Zoe Eckersley of Knutsford thought. However, she had not reckoned on the waste disposal rules of Cheshire East Council.

When helping her children make a pumpkin lantern she scooped out the seeds and threw them in her green bin used for garden waste.

Big mistake!

Her bin was left unemptied. However, an official yellow form had been attached identifying the pumpkin seeds as the forbidden "waste".

For why?

Seemingly there was a risk of "spreading disease", in fact all home grown veg are banned from green bins by this council.

By the way the council won't empty the bin, even if she removes the seeds, until next spring.

As per the Mail Councillor David Topping, cabinet member in charge of the environment, said:

"All of our waste collection crews are trained to assess the contents of garden bins before they are emptied into the collection vehicle, and they will not be emptied if the crew find any waste that could be considered as food waste.

As garden waste was sent to local farms for composting, they could face prosecution if food waste was mixed in."

I would welcome comments from those who actually know about agriculture etc, as to my humble view the banning of pumpkin seeds on the basis of disease risk seems a tad OTT.

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"Happy" Halloween

Tis upon us again and, in keeping with the season, I have disabled my doorbell and door knocker!

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Nanny Bans Cowboys etc etc

Another day nearer the doorbell/doorknocking annoyance that is Halloween.

However, my sympathies to the students of the University of Colorado Boulder (USA) who have been banned by USA Nanny from wearing "offensive" Halloween costumes.

As with all of Nanny's edicts the definition of what constitutes "offensive" is open to some interpretation. On the banned list are; cowboys, indians, sombreros, "white trash" costumes, costumes associated with crime or sex work, hillbillies, ghetto costumes and anything of an over sexualised nature.

It seems to me that the person who came up with the list doesn't much care for the Village People, then added extras for good measure.

Short of turning up stark bollock naked, there doesn't appear to be much left that a student party goer is allowed to wear should he/she wish to party at Colorado Boulder!

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Scary Bus

As Halloween draws ever closer I see that the good people of Tulleys Farm (who are planning a Shocktober Fest) have fallen foul of a handful of people who have been "scared" by the adverts for the Fest that Tulleys Farm have used on around 100 buses that operate from South London into Sussex.

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) are checking to see if if any rules have been broken. The Huffington Post quotes Stuart Beare, organiser of the event:

"The image of the zombie girl on our advertising is no worse than many images you'll see at this time of year in newspapers and magazines, on the Halloween costumes in the supermarket aisles and even on kids' TV programmes."

The furore will of course provide some very nice free PR for the event!

ASA did not investigate complaints last year over a similar advert, it has yet to rule on this year's advert.


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The Asylum Maze

As the marketing extravaganza of Halloween (not seen on these shores when I was a wee lad) draws ever nearer, I see some considerable controversy has blown up over Thorpe Park's Asylum Maze (an attraction that has been running for eight years now).

Campaigners claim having actors chasing people around an asylum stigmatises mental ill health.

I have never been to Thorpe Park, nor am ever likely to; therefore I cannot comment one way or another on whether this particular part of the park stigmatises those with mental health issues or not.

However, I would note this there have been many horror/thriller films using the plot of mental illness as their key theme (eg Silence of The Lambs). Should they be banned too?

Thoughtful and considered views and comments welcome.

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Happy Halloween

Seasonal greetings everyone, on this Eve of All Hallows!

As you carve your pumpkins remember to take care not to cut yourself with that sharp knife that you are using.

Also don't forget to unplug your doorbells, so as to reduce the disruption and annoyance caused by the street begging that will occur later this evening.

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Nanny Bans Pointy Things

As Halloween (that great American marketing gimmick) rapidly approaches, and kids force their parents to spend vast sums of money of cheap shite in order that they can then go door to door begging and demanding sweeties etc with menaces, I am indebted to a loyal reader who advised me that Nanny has banned pointy things at a Halloween party.

It seems that, according to the Mail, Halloween party organisers (and "community leaders" - a phrase I really loath) banned children aged five and under from bringing sharp plastic props, including toy broomsticks and scythes, to a "spooky disco" at a primary school in Treuddyn, North Wales.

The ban was to save them hurting themselves, or getting upset if they lost the articles.

All very well, but the kids had to be accompanied by their parents.

Anyhoo, that aside I would point out that Halloween was barely noted/celebrated in the UK when I was a kid.

Now, as an adult, I have to unplug my door bell in order to get through the evening!

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The Dangers of Bobbing

As Halloween approaches, here is a suitably "spooky" edition of Nanny Knows Best....oooohhhhhh!!!

When I was a lad (pre internet, pre mobile phones, pre flat screen TV etc) Halloween in England was hardly celebrated, or even noted. We most certainly did not have the US custom of sending children out into the streets at night, to harass and annoy the neighbours in exchange for sweets and bribes in order to be left alone.

Oddly though, because my mum is Irish, we did hollow out a swede and stick a candle in it (pumpkins were rarely seen in the shops in the late 60's) and practice a bit of "apple bobbing" (floating apples in a bucket of water and trying to bite chunks off them).

Now, of course, things are very different. Halloween has become a vast marketing exercise whereby all manner of cheap tat is sold, vast quantities of pumpkins hollowed out and kids encouraged to make nuisances of themselves in their local neighbourhoods (factoid: I will be taking the battery out of my door bell this Halloween).

Suffice to say, whilst Nanny is happy to allow these excesses to take place, Nanny has come down hard on that most harmless of Halloween practises "apple bobbing".

Did you know there was a health and safety risk wrt "apple bobbing"?

No, I didn't either!

Anyhoo, according to ophthalmologist Parwez Hossain (from Southampton General Hospital) a "high-velocity impact with an apple" has the potential to cause serious eye injury, and dirty water could lead to infection or blindness.

He recommends:

- disinfecting water containers,
- using bottled mineral water,
- removing the apples from the water with your hands instead of your mouth,
- removing the stalks of the apples and,
- wearing goggles.

Got that everyone?

Good!

Happy Halloween!

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Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween folks, have it large!

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Satanic Sluts et al

I know that it is Halloween, and as such Satanic Sluts etc are de rigueur.

However, please could someone explain to me why the arch Nanny herself, Gordon "Smiler" Brown, in the midst of the greatest economic crisis since 1487 (or thereabouts) felt it necessary to take time to intervene in the Brand/Ross "I shagged her" school boy boasting saga?

Surely Nanny has better things to do with her time?

Am I alone in thinking that everyone will do very well out of this financially, and that Nanny Brown has merely added to the PR value of said storm in a teacup?

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Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween folks!

Remember, under Nanny's rules of engagement, in the event you are plagued by children "trick or treating" do not interact with them unless you have had a CRB check and there are independent witnesses on hand.

The Frost household will be telling the little brats to sod off, as "trick or treating" is a vile form of begging/door step intimidation and is not part of the British culture but a ghaslty import from across the water.

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Happy Halloween

Today folks it's another Halloween.

Now, when I was a young lad the emphasis was on Bonfire Night and precious little time and attention was paid to Halloween.

I recall that my mum hollowed out some Swedes (the vegetable I would hasten to add) and put a candle in them, but that as as far as it went. Now of course we have been taken over by the US inspired commercial spend fest, that requires adults and children to spend gazillions on costumes, sweets and assorted shite.

Anyhoo, be that as it may, it is a free country...allegedly..and people should be able to do what they like, and dress up in any manner that they see fit.

Unfortunately this is Nanny Britain. At the first sign that people will be doing things that are not guided or inspired by the state, Nanny reacts in her usual "calm" "restrained" manner.

It should come as no surprise to learn that police forces up and down the country are on red alert today, as they prepare for a night that they are truly scared of. Nanny's police are issuing posters that people can put up on their doors basically telling trick and treaters to F Off!



That's all very well, but does it not occur to Nanny that this kind of thing actually encourages the more odious behaviour that she claims that she wishes to stop?

In Lancashire, for example, four control rooms have been set up by the police to monitor CCTV footage on 31 October. The Lancashire police will issue on-the-spot fines of £80 to anyone under the age of 18 found in possession of a firework, or other potentially dangerous items (eg eggs).

The UK Evangelical Alliance can't resist putting its nose into the pumpkin patch either, and has issued a warning:

"While Halloween [appears] to bring people together in fun,

in reality it is a celebration of the dead and of evil".

Ooohhh!!!

Why is Nanny so hysterical over this?

I agree, that having trick and treaters knocking at the door is a pain in the derriere..but does it require a full scale national police alert?

Nanny hates individuality, she will not be content until everything that we do is under her full control; whereby we will need formal state authorisation before we can do it.

Happy Halloween!

Nanny Bans Halloween

As the pumpkin season approaches, and ghouls, goblins and witches don their cloaks ready to scare the "living daylights" (you thought I was going to say "shit" didn't you?) out of you, one of Nanny's chums has decided to put his foot down about the whole nasty little business of Halloween.

The Bishop of Bolton, the Right Rev David Gillett, is asking Britain's retailers to stock alternatives to traditional Halloween merchandise.

Why?

In his view they are helping to create a "climate of fear".

Actually I rather thought that it was the media, aided and abetted by Nanny, that had created a real climate of fear over Muslim extremism, terrorists, obesity, global warming and bird flu etc.

Seems that I was wrong!

Anyhoo, the Right Rev David Gillett said that shops were helping to promote a "dark and negative" side of the festival.

He said:

"I share the view of many Christians

that large retailers are increasingly keen to commercialise

Halloween celebrations

in a way that pressurises parents to purchase goods

that promote the dark, negative side of Halloween

and could encourage antisocial behaviour.

I am worried that Halloween has the potential to trivialise the realities of evil in the world."

What about the far more damaging rampant consumerism and excess indulgence of Christmas then?

The bishop seems to forget that all Christian festivals are in fact linked and timed to coincide with our pagan past, a ham fisted way of trying to make us forget our past in fact.

Now we know why the Church of England is becoming an irrelevance.

Nanny Scares Children

Nanny felt a little left out of the Halloween celebrations this year, and has decided that although it was over a week ago she would still like to give someone a fright; just to show us that she is human.

Now she put her thinking cap on and wondered, who would it be best to frighten?

The elderly?

No, she frightens them on a daily basis with her council tax and crime stats.

Working adults?

No she frightens them with her tax rises and health care system.

Wait a minute, what about children?

Brilliant, she hasn't frightened them for a while.

Therefore she got together with her chums at the British Heart Foundation (BHF), and formulated a campaign to scare children about fast food.

This way she kills two birds with one stone, she gives the kids a scare and pisses off the fast food industry (which she hates with venom).

Brilliant!

An awareness campaign called Food4Thought found that more than a third of 8-14 year olds had no clue what the main ingredient in potato chips was (some children answered oil, eggs, apples, and flour). Additionally, another nearly 4 in ten of them did not know that milk was the primary item that comprised cheese.

What does this tell us about many children in this country?

They are pig ignorant.

How has this appalling level of ignorance come about?

Parents no longer spend time with their children, in the kitchen, showing them how to cook.

Why?

Nanny has told parents that both of them must work, and parents have happily handed over the upbringing (aside from just the basic 3 R's) to Nanny.

A very dangerous state of affairs indeed.

The BHF has a solution to this, they intend to put up over 600,000 posters all across the UK that show the contents of an average chicken nugget and hot dog (gristle, bone, chicken scrotum and general gunge of that ilk).

This, in their view, will help educate children and deter them from mindlessly consuming foods that they have no idea what it is made of.

Peter Hollins, the director general of the BHF, said:

"Kids have lost touch with the most basic foods and no longer understand what they are eating.

Banning foods or telling children not to eat them is not enough - we must engage children in understanding why certain foods are less healthy than others."

Notice how easily Nanny uses the word "ban" whenever she pontificates on a subject that she disapproves of.

The trouble is, best practice with respect to eating is learnt at home; until parents wrest responsibility for the upbringing of their children from Nanny, change and improvement will not occur.

Relying on Nanny to sort out this mess, merely gives her more power over our daily lives.

Nanny Bans Yorkshire Pudding

Nanny has discovered a secret, and damaging, addiction amongst the youth of Britain; it seems that, not content with “popping e” and sniffing glue, teenagers are “stuffing their faces” with Yorkshire pudding.

Nanny commissioned Professor Werner von Stickfinger, her “respected” medical adviser, to conduct a study of the health effects on teenagers of eating Yorkshire pudding.

Professor Stickfinger’s report was shocking; it seems that teenagers readily become addicted to Yorkshire pudding, which when eaten gives them a pleasant feeling of “comfort” and “fullness”.

In fact teenagers have become so addicted to eating Yorkshire pudding, that they hold secret “pudding bakes” on derelict pieces of land, away from Nanny’s prying eyes.

Nanny knows that if people are feeling comfortable, and well fed, they are less inclined to listen to her constantly harping on about health and safety issues.

Additionally, people who are feeling “sated” and at ease with their lives will not listen to Nanny’s constant shrieking about the risks and threats facing society today. This lack of attention to Nanny would, in the end, consign her to the dustbin of history.

In short, Nanny can only survive if people are feeling uncomfortable and threatened.

Therefore, armed with her “scientific” report, Nanny has implemented a test ban of Yorkshire pudding in the Stockton-on-Tees area. Her lackeys in the council were only too happy to oblige.

As from today Stockton-on-tees Borough Council have ordered supermarkets to stop selling flour, eggs and matches to youngsters under the age of 16 for 10 days.

Nanny will monitor the results of the ban order, code named “No Yolk”, to see if she can extend the ban to other towns across the UK.

Does this story seem a little far fetched?

Well, I direct you to The Scotsman which reports that Stockton-on-Tees Council have indeed banned the sale of eggs, flour and matches to teenagers. Nanny hates the idea of teenagers “letting off” a little steam by “egging and flouring” buildings during Halloween.

Whilst the Halloween antics of teenagers may be annoying, it is not the end of the civilised world. Far better they throw a few eggs, and bags of flour, then petrol bombs surely?

Nanny, by placing an arbitrary illegal ban on buying something as innocuous as eggs and flour, has set the precedent for any petty local council dictator to ban whatever they wish.

Today it’s flour and eggs, tomorrow it may be something that you want to buy or do!

Eggs Aren't Us

Nanny’s friends in Asda are worried about Halloween.

It seems that some “naughty” boys and girls attempt to enjoy themselves, by playing “trick or treat”; and “egging” peoples’ houses as a trick.

Now, I for one, would be a tad “pissed off” at being egged. However, in the great scheme of things “egging” is not the worst thing that can happen in life; teenagers who use knives or guns are a far more serious issue that needs to be dealt with.

Notwithstanding this reality check, Asda has decided to ban the sale of eggs to teenagers over the Halloween period.

This decision of course is utter tosh:

• It will not deter a teenager intent on buying a supply of eggs.



• Other supermarkets and stores still sell eggs to teenagers.



• Not all teenagers buying eggs are necessarily planning a nefarious use of the eggs. I believe that eggs have a duality of use, aside from being used as a missile, they can also be cooked and eaten.



• It is an over reaction to a relatively minor irritation.

This daft decision typifies Nanny’s “act without thinking approach” to tackling social issues.

It is sad to see that a reputable, non political, company is peddling Nanny’s brand of social interference.