Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Nanny Bans Glass

Nanny Bans GlassNanny gets some strange ideas into her head, when it comes to her so called "health and safety" agenda.

In her narrow view of the world, if we are not wrapped in cotton wool, then we are exposed to all manner of unacceptable threats and risks; needless to say, she believes that she is the only person on the planet capable of managing these risks.

Nanny is a control freak, and the most effective way for her to control us (and remain in power) is to make us dependent on her; ie she is trying to reduce us to a helpless infantile state.

Anyhoo, Nanny's latest obsession is glass; she has noticed that glass can, on occasions, cut people.

Therefore her chums in the Glasgow Licensing Board, funny how most of the really daft Nanny stuff seems to emanate from Scotland, have decided to ban glass in all bars and pubs in Glasgow from January.

Bloody hell!

Have you ever tried to drink beer, lager, wine or whisky from plastic?

It's farking awful!!!!

Needless to say, such a stooooopid idea has caused a wee rumpus.

Ken Storrie, the owner of the internationally-renowned Pot Still, said that he would rather lose his licence than serve his vast selection of malts, which cost up to £250 a nip, in plastic cups.

By the way, the ban will also prevent people from buying bottles of wine or champagne.

The Scottish Beer and Pub Association has asked the Court of Session for a judicial review of the Glasgow Licensing Board's decision to introduce the ban.

Councillor Gordon Macdiarmid, the board's convener, said:

"It is astonishing that anyone in the 21st century should seek to place the protection of glass receptacles ahead of the safety of their patrons."

What a Twat!

It's astonishing to me that these people are allowed to go out in the street unsupervised, let alone hold office!

Seemingly Macdiarmid, who evidently has no social life at all, has campaigned for years to make Glasgow the first 'glass-free' city in the world.

You would be forgiven for thinking that I made the last bit up...but no, this man really is a sad little twat!

Macdiarmid claims that his campaign is based on "evidence", Nanny's manipulation of "evidence" to support her daft ideas is well known, as well as demands from parents of "glassing" victims, surgeons and the police.

Waht about the glass bottles that whisky and some beers are contained in then?

Storrie thinks that the whole idea is bollocks, his range of over 500 malts is served in specially-designed Glencairn crystal glasses.

His refusal to sign up to the scheme means that he will initially lose his regular extended opening hours. A continued refusal to comply or seek an exemption could cost him his licence.

A VisitScotland spokesperson said:

"The ban could present a message to visitors that Glasgow is unsafe."

This is beyond belief, we have all seen Taggart and know that Glasgow is not the "softest" city in the world. However, the majority of the city's population manage to get on with their daily lives without having a glass stuffed in their face. I myself have been there many times, and in spite of the fact that I am English, managed to not get "glassed".

I would at this point tell you about the argument in a bar that took place one night, whereby one of the protagonists left for a few mintues to return wielding a Claymore.

Glasses were not needed that night.

Bloody stupid idea, from pathetic people who have nothing better to do with their lives.

It sets a very dangerous precedent; Nanny will be banning knives, sawn off shot guns and sarin next!


  1. Anonymous10:07 AM

    I think we have a contender for Prat of the Week here, surely.

    Why don't we ban food in pubs as well? People can choke to death, you know.

  2. I know, why don't we just ban everything. A chap of my acquaintance who had served in a certain well known regiment was trained in making just about anything into something to do nasty things to people. In his hands a paper clip was was deadly weapon and a crisp packet was absolutely lethal. As for Nannys favourite - cotton wool, just don't ask. For the sake of public safety everything must be banned lest members of the public gain the knowledge that this chap had.

    Oh and the day my favourite single malt turns up in a cardboard carton is the day I'm buying myself a packet of ready salted and a box of office sundries and going hunting!

  3. Anonymous11:56 AM

    As regular contributors will know I am not one to be contraryist (is that a word?) but ...

    I applaud the banning of glass. Nasty stuff that lasts a long time, usually, and prevents the excessive consumerism required to liberate the planet's carbon stock. Only the wine business, which manage to consume large quantities of use once glass in a high volume market, can be proud of their energy consuption record on this.

    The introduction of throwaway plastic recepticles should, I believe, be a boon to the so called 'fossil fuels' businesses in terms of raw material demand though I would guess that the energy demand for producing plastic article will be less than for glass and of course the lack of high temperature washing of the recepticles will reduce some of the power demands.

    On the other hand delivering and disposing of all the fluid containers being consumed should balance the energy consumption books.

    Interestingly the move to externalising the energy consumption of bars (by reducing the washing energy consumption) seems to be a pre-emptive strike against the use of electricity which may be produced by nuclear power stations in the future. By removing the re-uasability factor the costs are transferred to transportation which, absent a door to door electrically powered or nuclear generator equipped truck and van fleet, pretty much guarantees the continued use of so called 'fossil' fuels for the foreseeable future.

    A great decision in my view.

    If anyone has any views about what the hard men of Glasgow will use as a substitute for glasses and bottles I have a few quid I could invest in setting up an outlet. We could make a killing.

    Are they going do get around to shop windows next?


    "Liberating the Earth's resources."

  4. Anonymous9:36 AM

    Nanny will be banning knives, sawn off shot guns and sarin next?

    Oh no, Ken, not those! Banning any of those would involve Nanny in a minefield of minority and other victims' rights.

  5. Anonymous10:47 AM

    Grant said: "If anyone has any views about what the hard men of Glasgow will use as a substitute for glasses and bottles I have a few quid I could invest in setting up an outlet.

    Tankards - a fine traditional receptacle for drinking ale. The more affluent Glaswegian would probably opt for a pewter (or possibly silver) tankard while those with less money to spend could buy traditional stone drinking mugs a la Bavarian style. For madame, you could offer tastefully designed earthenware goblets. The benefit is that with these receptacles, you wouldn't get glassed anymore although you might get "tanked", "stoned" or even "gobbled" (ooer).

    Similarly you could offer a range of earthenware or stone bottles for storing wines and spirits etc. Again, no more "glassing" - mind you, losing your bottle could take on a whole new meaning (especially if about to be gobbled after getting stoned).

    "We could make a killing."

    Well I think it's a winner... what do you reckon?

  6. Anonymous7:20 PM

    Alan G makes some good suggestions but, thinking ahead with my Nanny hat on, I suspect only the pewter option would pass the safety test, it being a fairly soft metal for the most part.

    Anything heavy, stone bottles for example, could presumably be used to beat someone to a pulp leaving a rather gory mess for the highway cleansing people to deal with.

    So. Pewter then. Right, now to corner the market in pewter ...

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  8. Nanny has lost this one, hurrah!

    Now we have the added bonus of watching the sad arse Cllr MacDiarmid squirm as his embarrassing u-turn threatens to cost the council thousands of pounds and hopefully fat boy his job.

    Tried to post the links for the stories here but unable to. If you are interested these can be found on my blog.