Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, October 29, 2010

The Dangers of Bobbing

HalloweenAs Halloween approaches, here is a suitably "spooky" edition of Nanny Knows Best....oooohhhhhh!!!

When I was a lad (pre internet, pre mobile phones, pre flat screen TV etc) Halloween in England was hardly celebrated, or even noted. We most certainly did not have the US custom of sending children out into the streets at night, to harass and annoy the neighbours in exchange for sweets and bribes in order to be left alone.

Oddly though, because my mum is Irish, we did hollow out a swede and stick a candle in it (pumpkins were rarely seen in the shops in the late 60's) and practice a bit of "apple bobbing" (floating apples in a bucket of water and trying to bite chunks off them).

Now, of course, things are very different. Halloween has become a vast marketing exercise whereby all manner of cheap tat is sold, vast quantities of pumpkins hollowed out and kids encouraged to make nuisances of themselves in their local neighbourhoods (factoid: I will be taking the battery out of my door bell this Halloween).

Suffice to say, whilst Nanny is happy to allow these excesses to take place, Nanny has come down hard on that most harmless of Halloween practises "apple bobbing".

Did you know there was a health and safety risk wrt "apple bobbing"?

No, I didn't either!

Anyhoo, according to ophthalmologist Parwez Hossain (from Southampton General Hospital) a "high-velocity impact with an apple" has the potential to cause serious eye injury, and dirty water could lead to infection or blindness.

He recommends:

- disinfecting water containers,
- using bottled mineral water,
- removing the apples from the water with your hands instead of your mouth,
- removing the stalks of the apples and,
- wearing goggles.

Got that everyone?


Happy Halloween!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. There is of course the health and safety risk in "trick or treating".

    If I get another bunch of spotty teenagers wearing hoodies and holding out their grimy paws waiting for a quid or two on Oct 31st, then injury could well result to someone...

  2. Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells11:22 AM

    "high-velocity impact with an apple" has the potential to cause serious eye injury......

    But many kids (myself included) were forced to play cricket at school. Isn't a rock-hard cricket ball travelling at 90mph a "high velocity" missile? Before anybod point out that batsmen wear protective helmets, they didn't in my day. Tennis players don't and tennis balls are pretty hard should they hit you.

    "and dirty water could lead to infection or blindness." the bacteria-laden, polluted rain that falls on our heads? Or the piss- (and worse) laden water in swimming pools?

    Sounds like someone is out to make a name for himself.

  3. Speenzman11:29 AM

    Well I think Mr Hossain should shove his head up his arse. Now obviously he would need to take some form of protection against any germs, wrapping a plastic bag tightly round his face and head should do the trick, and there is a very real danger of asphyxia, particularly if someone rams a large apple into his mouth with a rubber mallet first. But in Mr Hossain's case who cares!

  4. "take the batteries out of my doorbell” - are you serious? Didn't you know that you will need training and a qualification to carry out this electrical modification.

  5. Tonk.1:45 PM

    Hi Ken...Ohhhhwoooooooo(Now that has buggered the spellcheck) ;-)

    I obtained a window notice from our local Plod, that said the following;

    Sorry No Trick or Treats here.
    Have a good evening and enjoy yourself but please respect our wishes and leave us in peace.

    What an excellent piece of policing!! Something useful!!

    I too remember in the 1950s and 1960s very little activity on All Hallows Eve. (Catholic upbringing) I agree Ken, it has been one of our less desireable imports from across the pond.

    Personally, as a grumpy old sod,(according to my oldest grandchild) I am hoping for a rain storm from about 16-00hrs until 22-00hrs on Sunday evening.

    Don't forget to put your clocks back!!

    Incidently, talking about high impact injuries from apple storks; I remember whilst playing squash, getting a high impact injury from a speeding, well struck squash ball in the nuts...Now that did chafe somewhat however, it was further compounded by my playing partner trying to hit the ball just as it hit my ball so to speak.....It still makes my eyes water thinking about it....Mmmmm, I think I had better have a large Brandy just to calm my nerves!!

  6. You say that "Halloween in the UK was hardly celebrated or even noted" Not true. In Scotland Halloween has always been noted - Bonfire Night and Guy Fawkes were not celebrated in Scotland.
    In Scotland, to this day, the custom of 'Guising' continues. This is children (mostly) dressing up and going from house to house - doing their party piece and in return getting some sweeties or fruit. This is obviously the progenitor of 'trick or treating' in the USA. The original reason for 'Guising' was for vulnerable people to 'disGUISE' themselves so that the devil - who is out and about on Hallows Eve - would not recognise them and therefore be able to drag them to the nether world. Of course the USA have taken this ancient Celtic (pre-Christian) festival and turned it into a commercial party but in the fishing villages of the east coast of Scotland you can still see children doing what has been done for hundreds of years. Oh, and BTW they made lanterns out of swedes, not pumpkins!

  7. www you are quite right, indeed I remember seeing kids (when I was a student at Edinburgh in early 80's) going from pub to pub dressed up.

    I will amend "UK" to "England".

    mea culpa


  8. Anonymous5:28 PM

    Couldn't get in my local tesco for pumpkins this morning. What a load of freshly imported american nonsense this is. hell, it will be carol singers (sic) next - can't we find a way to bundle them all up and throw them away .... ah, I know, bonfire night ....ahha

  9. Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells10:23 AM

    Tonk said:

    "I too remember in the 1950s and 1960s very little activity on All Hallows Eve."

    Hallowe'en, or rather Samhein as it is properly known, is the most important of the eight pagan Sabbats of the year. It is the end of summer and the beginning the pagan New Year, a celebration of the harvest safely in, and a time for quiet contemplation (mulled wine optional). The pagan movement are also highly pissed off by the commercialism that's taken over their festival.

    Time for a campaign to ditch the American Halowe'en in favour of Samhein?