Nanny's Shit Database

I am highly gemused to see that Nanny intends to expand her ever growing network of databases.

This time she intends to create one containing dog shit.

Yes, you did read that correctly!

Nanny's chums from the Isle of Wight Council want to create a database containing the DNA taken from dog shit.

For why?

Seemingly this will be used to prosecute dog owners who allow their mutts to befoul (there's a good word!) the pavements.

David Pugh, leader of the Isle of Wight Council, as per the Telegraph told a council meeting:

"We could test samples against the database and trace it to the dog's owner. I imagine we would see an immediate cessation to the problem. 

It's something we would have to pilot, and I'm not wishing to make policy on the hoof."

Seemingly the shit can be matched to individual dogs using samples of fur or saliva taken from animals.

Owners must give consent for the DNA sample to be taken from their pet, but it can them remain on the database for the rest of their life.

Well, given that permission is required first, I don't see this as getting anywhere.

I would also ask that, given that we are facing years of austerity and cuts, where exactly is the money coming from to fund this?

Barking mad!

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The Dangers of Folding Chairs

Oh dear, it seems that the party animals attending the Isle of Wight Festival have been banned by Nanny from doing one of the things that they love most.

No, not that!

I mean that Nanny has banned them from bringing folding chairs onto the site. Festival goers were told to leave their seats at the entrance to the site at Seaclose Park in Newport.

For why?

Health and Safety (and for a better customer experience)!

Sounds like a load of old bollocks to me.

Now here's the funny thing, festival goers have been banned from BRINGING folding chairs. However, according to reports, it seems that festival goers were still allowed to buy chairs within the festival site.

Funny that, isn't it?

Ker Farking Ching!

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The Dangers of Kung Foo Fighting

It is "interesting" (not really the ideal word, but it is a Monday morning!) to see how thin skinned many people have become as a result of living in the Nanny state.

Simon Ledger (a pub singer/entertainer) discovered this to his cost a couple of months ago, when he was singing at the Driftwood Beach Bar in Sandown on the Isle of Wight.

Mr Ledger regularly performed there, and one song (Kung Foo Fighting) is by all accounts popular with the regulars.

Anyhoo, as Mr ledger was belting it out a man of Chinese origin and his mother were walking past. For reasons that are unclear to my thick skinned hide, they found the song to be offensive and reported it to the police.

Later Mr Ledger, ironically having just finished eating in a Chinese restaurant, was arrested on suspicion of racially aggravated harassment then released on bail.

There don't seem to be any updated media reports about whether the police have formally charged Mr ledger, if anyone has any updated information please feel free to drop me a note.

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