Prats of The Week - Lambeth Council

Stap my vitals, it is a Friday and I have not yet awarded my coveted and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" award!

Therefore, without further ado, let me shout this week's winner from the rooftops....it is none other than Lambeth Council (yes another council!).

For why?

Well, Lambeth Council have got their knickers in a twist over government cuts (brought about by the austerity programme). The council feel that, as money is now in short (or rather in shorter) supply, the services which they consider "essential" will suffer.

So what does the council do to try to avoid harming its "essential" services?

Does it look for savings elsewhere?

No!

Does it present a coherent, and well researched, request for an increased budget to the government?

No!

It prints posters (ie it spends taxpayers' money) that are placed hither and thither around Lambeth.

What do these posters say?

“The Government has cut our money by nearly a third, so we are forced to cut our services.”

With cretins like this running councils, it is hardly surprising that this country is financially farked and that council services are in such a mess!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

Lambeth Council, well deserving Prats of The Week.

FYI, Lambeth Council also won this award in March last year (well done lads!).

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Prats of The Week - Lambeth Council

Ooh Err Missus, it has been a wee while since I have awarded my prestigious, and internationally renowned, Prats of The Week Award.

Therefore without blowing further on my trumpet, I will award it this week to Lambeth Council.

For why?

Their attitude to Mulberry trees, instead of wishing to go round the Mulberry bushes the council wishes to obliterate them; as the residents who live near Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens have recently found out.

Two mulberry trees that mark one of the entrances to the park are to be chopped down by the council.

For why?

In order to "improve" the park.

Eh??

Jeff Raggett, the Cultural Arts Development Manager at Lambeth Council, explains all:

"The mulberry trees have red berries that will stain the new granite sets which will therefore require additional cleaning to maintain the newly paved surface."

Meanwhile, thanks to a private donation, plans are afoot to erect a £250K statue of Guru Basavanna in the vicinity, who lived between 1134 and 1196 (not in Lambeth though).

Maybe some of that money could be used to save the trees as well, if Lambeth are so determined to be pig headed about this?

Lambeth Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Nanny Bans Christmas

I seem to recall writing about Nanny banning Christmas last year, how time flies!

Anyhoo, Nanny's chums in Lambeth council have got rather nervous about the forthcoming Christmas celebrations, and the implications for harmony within the borough.

As such they have decided to call their Christmas lights "Winter Lights".

Advertisements for the switch-on of the lights in multi-cultural Lambeth have renamed them, apparently for fear of offending other faiths.

A spokesman tried to weasel out of it, by saying that it was an error by a junior official and not council policy.

In three of Lambeth's main town centres, the lights were referred to as "Winter Lights", while in a fourth they were called "Celebrity Lights".

The council spokeswoman said an official was concerned about people from other religions.

She said:

"It was a junior-level decision and it happened to go into print which was an error basically.

I think it was certainly not a council policy that we should call the lights winter lights."

Needless to say Nanny is trying to pretend that it is all just a mistake.

However, Lambeth were unable to give an assurance that some of its lights would contain Christian connotations.

Leaders from non Christian faiths have said that the ban is ridiculous.

Nanny fails all of her "charges", whatever their faith.