Trip Hazard

Be warned the Health and Safety Gestapo have donned their jackboots again and are back to their favourite subject, the alleged "trip hazard" posed by welcome mats.

Residents of the rather amusinbgly named "Revenge House" block of flats, at The Anchorage, Gosport have recently been told by the Gestapo in their local council to remove their welcome mats lest someone trip over them.

Residents who do not remove the mats have been threatened with court action, and possible eviction.

Ironically Cllr Keith Gill, the head of the council's housing board, thinks that this is a load of bollocks:

"I would be very opposed to any kind of legal action taking place over this. I think that would be heavy handed.

This is really sending out the wrong message and there are more important things that the council should be worrying about."

Well said sir!

Even Tom Mullarkey, chief executive of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, was against the mat ban.

"The application of common sense and balance is much more reasonable than the seeking of mindless increments towards absolute safety."

The extent of the council's stupidity is highlighted by the fact that instead of applying a blanket ban on all mats (which at least would be consistent with their daft policy), they intend to waste time and resources by assessing the risk posed by each mat on an individual basis.

What a complete bunch of knobheads!

Let's face it, local councils really are the pits.

Rather amusingly my own local branch of LA Fitness is using the "trip hazard" as an excuse for not putting anti slip matting around the sides of their swimming pool, I am sure that this is nothing to do with saving money.

Good luck to them in the courts if someone slips on the wet tiles, as I and others have nearly done, and breaks a few bones.

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The Doormat Inspectors

This story has rather struck a chord with me, as a very similar thing happened in our apartment block.

Stanley Samuels, a resident of Brookshill Gate in Harrow, recently received a letter from his management company telling him to get rid of his doormat because it was a trip hazard.

In fact all the residents of Brookshill Gate received written notification from HML Hawksworth saying that they are no longer allowed to have front doormats, as they are seen to be a trip hazard.

Mr Samuels said:

"They hand delivered letters to all of us, they said that if we have got a mat they will throw it away.

I thought it was ridiculous but rather than my mat being thrown away, I've brought mine inside.

When visitors come to stay, I just want to them to be able to wipe their feet and not make my carpet dirty.

The whole world has gone mad if you think about it, all the things we used to be able to do we are not allowed to anymore.

I've lived here for three years and no one has tripped over a mat, or broken their leg or anything.

The law with the mats is part of health and safety rules which applies to flats like these, but it appears the law is wrong.

How many people have fallen over their mats in a mad rush to get out?"

The 18-flat complex is home to residents of all ages.

The letter said:

"Following a recent health and safety site inspection it has been bought to our attention that you have a doormat in the communal parts of the building.

Please can you remove the doormat as this is a breach of health and safety regulations.

Please be advised that if the doormat is not removed we will have no choice but to remove the doormat in due course."

As you can see, Nanny was even threatening to steal the mat if her orders are not obeyed. She can't do that!

The reason that this strikes a chord with me is that exactly the same thing happened in our apartment block last year. Nanny's rules require that there is a health and safety inspection by "experts" (third parties who have set themselves up to make easy money from Nanny's rules).

Our "expert" produced a weighty report that contained many photos of "dangerous" mats, a firedoor propped open (to allow painting to be done that day) etc. We were told to have our mats removed.

Here's where it gets good...I am on the board (now chairman) of our management company...ahah!.

The "expert" was duly told to fark off, and that any attempt to remove my mat would be met with lethal force!

We have of course ignored the doormat inspector's report.

Interestingly, a few months after his visit, it was discovered that in one block the fire alarm system could not be heard on the upper floor, the emergency lighting didn't work and that outer wall studding was loose thus presenting a genuine risk of things falling off the building.

Our doormat inspector (who allegedly was here to provide us with a health and safety report) found none of those genuine risks.

The truth is that many of the so called "experts" who claim to offer health and safety advice/reports are nothing more than amateur scam merchants, feeding off Nanny's ill thought out health and safety legislation.

There are genuine experts who do provide a very necessary and useful service, unfortunately thanks to the actions of the scam merchants the public now regard all such members of that profession with contempt and ridicule.

Nanny is making a complete fool of herself, and deserves to be held in the highest possible contempt.

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The New Nanny Store

Here we go folks, come and buy the new range of T shirts, coffee mugs, dog coats, mouse mats, badges etc all featuring the new Nanny Knows Best logo.

These wonderful products make the ideal gift for friends, family and Gordon himself.

Buy them here Nanny

Classic Nanny items, featuring Bliary Poppins, can still be bought here Nanny Classic

Happy shopping!

Nanny Bans Doormats

"It was Health and Safety what done it!"

That will be the epitaph written on the future tombstone of British freedom. Health and Safety is the fashionable excuse used by Nanny, and all her acolytes, for banning all manner of things with which they disagree.

Now Nanny's chums in Bristol City Council have decided that doormats, used to wipe your feet upon (ie placed in a specific position by an outside door), are a tripping hazard.

Nanny has therefore banned them from communal hallways in council run housing schemes.

Woe betide the hapless tenant who disobeys Nanny, and keeps their doormat by the door, they will have their beloved doormat confiscated and destroyed.

Seemingly, after many decades of use, it has been discovered by Nanny that doormats could hamper escape from a building if a fire broke out.

Now, could anyone tell me precisely how many thousands of people have died because a doormat obstructed their escape path from a burning building?

No idea?

I am 100% certain that Nanny has not a clue either (I would hazard a guess that the figure is less then the fingers on one hand), that doesn't matter though because Nanny doesn't use facts to back up her prejudices.

Needless to say, the good people of Bristol think that this edict is bollocks, and that the council ought to be doing more important things with their time and the tax payers' money.

Chris Evans, who lives in a council-owned block of flats in Henbury, said rather wryly that if the council were so worried about people tripping up, then they should fix the city's pavements.

Rather oddly, the council have graciously allowed people to keep the doormats on the inside of their apartments. So let's get this right, doormats may prevent you from escaping a burning building if they are on the outside but are perfectly safe if they are on the inside?

Can anyone explain that load of bollocks to me?

Nanny's official explanation of this nonsense was communicated to residents, by way of a letter to residents in Brookridge House:

"During a routine Health and Safety inspection of the block,

it was noted that loose mats were present in hallways/corridors

outside of people's flats.

These represent a 'tripping hazard'

and should be removed immediately.

By all means have your own mats inside your front door

but please do not leave them outside, creating a risk to others."

Twats!

Mr Evans vented his spleen at the council:

"It is noted that the council advised of this tripping

hazard on the August 25;

advising that mats were to be removed by September 18.

Presumably it is in order to trip over these mats

during this 24-day interregnum?

This apart, Bristol City Council also says that,

if mats are not removed by the said date,

it will take the initiative and remove and dispose of such mats.

In my book, taking other people's property without their consent

used to be known as theft.

The fact that the council is announcing such theft in advance

only adds to the crass stupidity shown in this foolish episode.

I am minded to say that it is not the mats that need removal

but personnel who inflict such decisions on an unsuspecting public."

Feel free to vent your spleens at Bristol City Council, via this link Twats.

Nanny Bans Gum

Good news everybody, Nanny has decided that yet another aspect of our lives needs to be micro managed.

This time she has turned her beady little eyes to the problem of chewing gum, spat out upon the street.

Doesn't this all remind you of John Major's doomed "cone hot line" fetish, which he went on about as his government slowly collapsed around him?

Anyhoo Nanny has set up a nice new quango (not Tango), called the Chewing Gum Action Group (CGAG)!

CGAG has announced a drive to cut the amount of discarded gum in trial areas of Manchester, Preston in Lancashire and Maidstone, Kent.

It seems that to aid this new "initiative", disposal pouches will be handed out in pedestrian areas and distributed through retail outlets.

There will even be an advertising campaign in shopping areas, on telephone boxes and beer mats will try to persuade users to dispose of their gum responsibly.

Guess who will be paying for that then?

Yes, that's right, us!

There will also be a system of fines imposed for gum offences, ranging from £50 to £75.

In addition to the campaign, special gum wardens will be trained to monitor people's gum spitting activity.

Now call me stupid, but don't we already have an anti litter campaign system of fines in place?

The trouble with Nanny and her acolytes is that they know that they are failing to manage to country effectively, in respect of the major issues such as; health, education and transport. Therefore they try to distract everyone's attention by creating a flurry of unnecessary and expensive activity in areas of little consequence.

That, my friends, is the first step on the road towards dictatorship.