Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Nanny Bans Doormats


"It was Health and Safety what done it!"

That will be the epitaph written on the future tombstone of British freedom. Health and Safety is the fashionable excuse used by Nanny, and all her acolytes, for banning all manner of things with which they disagree.

Now Nanny's chums in Bristol City Council have decided that doormats, used to wipe your feet upon (ie placed in a specific position by an outside door), are a tripping hazard.

Nanny has therefore banned them from communal hallways in council run housing schemes.

Woe betide the hapless tenant who disobeys Nanny, and keeps their doormat by the door, they will have their beloved doormat confiscated and destroyed.

Seemingly, after many decades of use, it has been discovered by Nanny that doormats could hamper escape from a building if a fire broke out.

Now, could anyone tell me precisely how many thousands of people have died because a doormat obstructed their escape path from a burning building?

No idea?

I am 100% certain that Nanny has not a clue either (I would hazard a guess that the figure is less then the fingers on one hand), that doesn't matter though because Nanny doesn't use facts to back up her prejudices.

Needless to say, the good people of Bristol think that this edict is bollocks, and that the council ought to be doing more important things with their time and the tax payers' money.

Chris Evans, who lives in a council-owned block of flats in Henbury, said rather wryly that if the council were so worried about people tripping up, then they should fix the city's pavements.

Rather oddly, the council have graciously allowed people to keep the doormats on the inside of their apartments. So let's get this right, doormats may prevent you from escaping a burning building if they are on the outside but are perfectly safe if they are on the inside?

Can anyone explain that load of bollocks to me?

Nanny's official explanation of this nonsense was communicated to residents, by way of a letter to residents in Brookridge House:

"During a routine Health and Safety inspection of the block,

it was noted that loose mats were present in hallways/corridors

outside of people's flats.

These represent a 'tripping hazard'

and should be removed immediately.

By all means have your own mats inside your front door

but please do not leave them outside, creating a risk to others


Mr Evans vented his spleen at the council:

"It is noted that the council advised of this tripping

hazard on the August 25;

advising that mats were to be removed by September 18.

Presumably it is in order to trip over these mats

during this 24-day interregnum?

This apart, Bristol City Council also says that,

if mats are not removed by the said date,

it will take the initiative and remove and dispose of such mats.

In my book, taking other people's property without their consent

used to be known as theft.

The fact that the council is announcing such theft in advance

only adds to the crass stupidity shown in this foolish episode.

I am minded to say that it is not the mats that need removal

but personnel who inflict such decisions on an unsuspecting public

Feel free to vent your spleens at Bristol City Council, via this link Twats.


  1. Anonymous11:57 AM

    Don't "hazard a guess..."!!!

    (Nanny will ban guessing on H & S grounds)

  2. Anonymous2:38 PM

    ...& what about the hazard of wet footprints on the hallway area, caused by not being able to wipe your feet on these "evil" doormats?

    Absolutely pathetic business

  3. Anonymous2:49 PM

    Ken, What a fantastic business opportunity......

    Tony Blaire doormats. Wipe you feet AND relieve stress.
    Wouldn't it be good for the health too?

  4. Anonymous3:51 PM

    Far be it from me to cast aspersions or attempt to stereotype BUT I would have thought that many council owned properties would have been fart more likely to incur serious death and injury in the event of fire by an entirely different form of tripping.

    Nice to know you can trip in your own home though.

  5. Anonymous5:25 PM

    If you have wood flooring and it's wet and a pool forms immediately inside the door and someone slips....
    an inside doormat takes up water that would otherwise lie on the surface.

    If this happens in a place of work, the employer might be toast. If it's your home and your guest slips on water or an indoor doormat, you can fight it.

    Local authorities are thought to be a soft touch for claims for slips and trips.

    What you get with a fault based compensation system

  6. Anonymous8:18 PM

    Twats indeed, Ken: doubly -- nay, trebly -- so!

    I heard this story on the wireless and instantly knew it would appear straightway on your esteemed blog.

    What can be done with idiots like this? Sterilization might be in order, if not a firing squad. It wouldn't do to let them breed.

  7. Anonymous8:20 PM

    P.S. Where can I get a mat like the one in your pic? I need it for the thugs from TV Licensing. (Jehovah's Witnesses I encourage, for the play-value.)

  8. Anonymous3:25 AM

    When is nanny going to ban the fire department?

    I can't think of anything more dangerous than rushing into a burning building.

    Just wait for it, ladies and gentlemen.

  9. Anonymous3:34 PM

    Fire Service have banned their 'poles' after HSE advice

  10. Anonymous7:59 PM

    "I can't think of anything more dangerous than rushing into a burning building."

    Being in the Army seems to be more dangerous but Nanny does her best to tempt young men (and women) into that service before, after a brief period of training, they are shipped out to unfriendly parts.

    It occurs to me that prayer mats might be more dangerous than door mats.

    Thay are also more visible on the world scene and do much more for Nanny's global image. Or not, as the case may be.