Now that Nanny has achieved something of a "success" with her campaign against fags (England will follow Scotland down the path of banning smoking in public places in July), she is turning her attention to booze.Despite the fact that this nation was built on booze, the Romans wrote missives home complaining about the tendency of the local Brits to booze and fight every night, Nanny has now decided to try to alter our "mindset" towards drinking.
As we all know, Nanny hates the working classes and has for sometime been going on at them about their smoking, drinking and eating habits. She would do well to remember that it is these same people who have laid down their lives for this country, and kicked the shit out of our enemies.
As Wellington once said, with pride, of his army:
"They are the scum of the earth...
But they are our scum!"
Anyhoo, I digress.
Nanny is now widening her target, she recently told all pregnant women that they must not drink a single drop during their term. This is all well and good except for the following flies in Nanny's oinkment:
1 It is bollocks advice
2 People will ignore it
3 Many women can be pregnant for a wee while before discovering that they are. How are they meant to feel if, during the period of "grace", they downed a few?
4 There is no scientific basis for Nanny's advice
Not content with that, Nanny has now moved up a gear to target "middle class" drinkers...whoever they are?
Seemingly, Nanny is concerned that aside from those of us who down 25 pints in the pub, there are those who drink wine (both in the pub and worse still at home).
Why is Nanny so concerned about this?
Well, she says that it's because they may not know how many units they are drinking.
Bollocks!
The real reason is that Nanny can't stand the fact that people are doing things in private, over which she has no control.
In Nanny's world, if she can't see it or control it...then it is wrong.
Therefore she intends to bore the entire country to death with a series of messages "targeted" at those who drink wine etc at home (even Newsnight fell into that trap last night and started to spread Nanny's poison), telling them that they must take care and that the limit (in Nanny's sad little world) for safe consumption is 21 unit for men and 14 for women per week.
Pah!
I spit upon those units!
The average Brit can down that in one night for fark's sake!
Here is why this advice is bollocks:
1 The target "middle classes" will already be well aware as to the unit content of their booze.
2 We are all adults, so let us determine our own intake.
3 The average "middle class" dinner party these days, if you are to believe the reports, tends to be rather more focused on snorting "a recreational Cameron" rather than drinking yourself under the table.
4 The unit recommendations are aimed at those with the weakest systems, and have no bearing on the average healthy strong individual.
5 The damage that booze does to the system is related to genetics. Hence the fact that the Brits can take the booze, we are bred for it!
6 People will ignore the advice.
Nanny should use her little brain a bit more. She claims that the reason that she hates boozing and smoking so much, is the cost to the NHS of treating the damage that these pleasures take upon us.
The solution to this is simple, raise taxes on these products and stop wasting resources on pointless campaigns and enforcement measures.
1 The taxes will reduce consumption
2 The increase in tax revenue can be used to fund the NHS costs of treating people.
Problem solved!
However, Nanny will not do this because she actually likes to interfere in people's lives. Her lectures and enforcement measures keep the population docile and under control, as well as giving her an army of snooping busybodies (eg council smoke spies) who will snoop on us in the guise of "merely doing their job".
By the way, what sort of sad person will volunteer to become a smoke spy?
What kind of individual will enjoy spending their day wandering around pubs and other public places looking for people having a crafty fag, and taking a photo of them doing so?
That's how Nazi Germany started.
Mark my words, Nanny will one day try to ban drinking as well!
Cant beleive you are advocating a rise in taxes on a product that is already amongst the most highly taxed in the world!
ReplyDeleteThe trouble with increased taxation is that people will smuggle from France more, which means that we'll need more customs officers, more bureaucratic checks, more cost.....
Ah! I can see why this might actually happen!
How can Nanny refuse to treat a smoker on the NHS when she is so willing to accept the tax that's paid on cigs. If she don't want to treat smokers, then ban cigs altogether.
ReplyDeleteWell said!
ReplyDeleteThis "advise" comes from the guardians who all work for Nanny, having met a few of them I can said that they are all vegan, Guardian reading types who are unable to handle their beer.
According to Nanny I am a problem drinker. Why ? Because on occasion I have downed the equivalent of more than four pints in an evening. This is about 8-10 units of alcohol and Nannys' own guidelines say the safe limit for a male of the species is 21 units a week. There are very few weeks when I even approach that limit but because of those rare occasions that I have had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner and a brandy or two after or a few pints with friends I am now tarred as a problem drinker and 'binge drinker'. However, if some lentil wearing, sandal munching acolyte of Nanny downs a glass or two of wine each night they are not stigmatized despite having, over the course of a week consumed somewhere between 21 and 28 units compared to my 8-10.
ReplyDeleteI shall continue to enjoy myself and should Nannys 'p*sshead police' turn up on the doorstep to admonish me for my obvious problems and invite me to attend re-education classes they will receive that very British of salutes, namely two fingers rampant.
Ken mentioned:
ReplyDeleteDinner Parties.
Really? Must be a London thing. I thought they went out of general use years ago ...
Taxes.
Er, is my memory failing perhaps but I thought the the existing high level of taxes was already intended to fund the cost of any realted illness for the normal health problem of the historically indigenous people.
Admittedly the re-occurrence of things like TB and malaria mat not have been budgeted in to the numbers and of course the cost of cosmetic procedures, sex changes and IVF on the NHS has to be funded from somewhere, but quite why anyone who enjoys a tipple should be victimized I have no idea. I can opnly assume that nanny fees that non-smoking teetotallers are getting too good a deal and are probably outside her preferred sphere of control, especially if they don't drive either.
Indeed if Nanny wished she could dress up not helping anyine who becomes ill with something 'linked' to smoking and drinking as a Global Warming regulation and let them pass away. After all reduced lifespan and population mean less CO2 output as any enviromiserablist will tell you.
As for the official snoopers with their cameras, I think I will make sure I do not carry a camera in public just in case people get the wrong idea. Which is probably what Nanny wants to happen. No doubt there will be many people willing to take the jobs - I wonder if they will get 'expenses' so that they can buy a drink in the pubs and clubs in order to retain their undercover status?
What a sad life it would be to be paid to wander around pubs and clubs drinking at someone else's expense taking pictures of people you don't know.
Subsidised boozing - what a great idea! I must contact a couple of MP's to find out what it is like in reality.
Grant
''Well, she says that it's because they may not know how many units they are drinking.''
ReplyDeleteNanny may have a point here Ken, by the time I've consumed 16 I start to lose count........
skydog
I myself have been pregnant for a wee on more than one occasion.
ReplyDeleteDebster
If these bastards are going to refuse to treat smokers on the NHS - even though they pay 'n' times more tax than anyone else then, by rights, they should make those people who go to the gym, play any sport, hanglide, or engage in any 'dangerous' activity, pay extra tax as well - and then refuse them treatment because their injuries are self-inflicted.
ReplyDeleteI thought that, when the smoking ban arrives, it would be a great idea if everybody walked around with a camera round their neck - just to confuse the little wankers who were 'the real' wardens.
Trouble with that is that some smart-arse would report you for impersonating 'an officer of..' (whatever it is these people are officers of). No doubt they'd lock you away for ten years - having first released a paedophile to make room for you.