Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Dangers of Trees - Monkey Puzzle For The Chop

The Dangers of Trees - Monkey Puzzle For The Chop
The health and safety Gestapo have donned their jackboots and are on the march again.

This time they have set their sights on a 150 year old monkey puzzle tree in West Cross, Swansea.

The tree's crime?

Seemingly, according to the health and safety "experts", the needles are akin to syringes and are a danger to children.

The result being that the local knob heads in the council want to chop the tree down.

Just to remind you, the tree has been there for 150 one has died from its needles.

Why, suddenly, does this tree pose a health and safety risk to the modern generation?

The report presented by the health and safety Gestapo contained the following ludicrous comments:

"Every effort is made in this day and age to prevent children playing with discarded syringe needles.

Every effort must be made to prevent children coming into contact with these potentially, equally sharp needles
." people really get paid with our money to produce this shit?

Hypos are dangerous because they are most likely to be infected with blood borne diseases.

Pine needles are not!

Mike and Carol Crafer are leading a campaign to save the tree, and have even tried pricking themselves with the needles (to no avail).

Swansea council don't give a stuff, and have said:

"Safety experts have said the tree is too much of a risk to children for it to remain.

One expert likened the tree foliage to discarded syringe needles and warns they pose a probable risk of serious injury to children. The authority could find itself defending any litigation, should this arise

What are local councils really useful for?

Fark all I would say!

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  1. Philippa1:13 PM

    Hmm....I wonder if these 'experts' are actually living on the same planet as us?

  2. Anonymous2:00 PM

    Perhaps it is really an Ent! Now we know where the Last Extra from Lord of the Rings is. The council leader is not called Saruman is he? But I'll lay goods odds on the number of Wormtongues there.



  3. grumpy2:21 PM

    There is only one way to stop these idiots (well; there are two actually, but even I would stop short of advocating the bombing of Town Halls) - there needs to be a concerted, collective refusal by the people (that's us) to pay Council Tax.
    By my reckoning, it would take no more than one month before the councils were pleading with their 'citizens' to help them restore proper services.

  4. Anonymous4:00 PM

    Sheesh...I've heard it all (but I think that everythime I read you site, Ken). What happened to learning what might be dangerous the old fashioned way...sticking a paw in and getting burned. That usally learnt us.


  5. Anonymous4:31 PM

    My neighbour has some very strange and prickly flora that overhang and spread into my garden. In fact, pretty much every time I go out to cut the grass I get pricked. On one occasion I tripped into another of his plants and lost a surprising amount of blood (i.e. dripping-off-the-arm amounts).

    I could have taken the approach of many people in this country - called my emergency Health & Safety officer and litigation lawyer, and explained how, like a prat, I tripped into my neighbour's garden, fell on his plant, came off the worse, lost lots of blood and now I want to be financially rewarded for my actions as an example for others to follow. Instead, feeling like a right Wally, I kept quiet about it.

    Last time I went to see a doctor he said it was probably all the playing in the trees and the muck and dirt as a child that exposed my immune system to the real world, building and strengthening it, and reckoned it’s why he seldom sees me.

    It's the same experiences that this generation of children will be denied if the Health & Safety Gestapo have their way.

    Anyway, the last time I got pricked I did what any good neighbour would do: took the hedge clippers to the ends of the spikes and solved the problem at source.

    My neighbour didn't see me do it but he wouldn't have complained as soon as I'd explained why (risk of becoming anaemic etc).

    It's that bygone ability to strike a light rather than curse the darkness and avoid the litigation industry that saves society from a huge expense and overhead.

  6. Anonymous6:25 PM

    Whenever I read stories like this I wish that an enterprising chancer would try and sue the Council, have it thrown out of court and put an end to this craziness. But then, perhaps I'm forgetting that it's in the interests of the elfansafety jobsworths to keep it all going.


  7. usual, I'm sad to say. Things back in jolly ol' Britain are just a tad too much for me. I moved over to the US where I enjoy far more freedom from stupidity.....generally speaking. Sadly, there seems to be a worsening case of nanny-itus over here as well. I hear the Aussie Outback's not too well regulated.....

  8. Alas, they do live on our planet and are paid with real-life money unwillingly donated by us through our taxes.

    Are you listening, Gordon?

  9. Anonymous2:03 AM

    Should also ban roses, hedgehogs, nitting needles etc.

  10. Anonymous7:57 AM

    Grumpy is right, the trouble is we have all become too chicken to actually stop paying the council tax, the conditioning has worked i am afraid

  11. Hey Councils:

    In case you have forgotten, you are supposed to be working FOR us, NOT AGAINST us!!

    The only things the public really needs protecting from are silly petty minded 'Elf'n'Safety officers and over zealous petty minded officious councils.

  12. Anonymous12:27 PM

    Actually, ignoring the stupid needles comments from the 'authorities', one could put forward a good case for banning trees.

    They do cause an inordinate amount of damage one way or another - roots, falling on things and people. Look at that poor girl in London the other day, crushed by a tree when she popped out of her office for a moment. The same tree also damaged a bus and its passengers and traumatised the driver.

    Dangerous things trees. Disease ridden, unpredictable and home to all sorts of bugs and vermin. And think of the cost of cleaning up after them - leaves (or needles) everywhere, drains clogged, flooding, slippery roads - who knows how many people they kill with absolutely no risk of prosecution and paying for the crime?

    And then there are the roots - highly destructive to property. And of course their ability to cause inter-human conflict, something at which Leylandii seem particularly adept.

    Swansea should just come clean with their real thinking on this - it could be praiseworthy.



  13. Anonymous7:20 PM

    This has nothing to do with Health & Safety, it has all to do with untrained people carrying out Risk Assessments that they are unqualified to carry out, most professionals realise that this type of incident actually is detrimental to real heal & safety, as people now think of it as one big joke

  14. Rob F9:36 PM

    When I have kids of my own, I am going to show them, under supervision, how to safely climb trees (even the eeeevil syringe trees), take them camping, and also teach them the safe use of firearms (yes I'm from Manchester but not Moss Side; I divide my time between here and South Carolina).

    Whenever I've been over there, it's been like a breath of fresh air - if anyone in office there ever suggested something like this, they'd be laughed out of their jobs.

    And I'm also going to let my kids play in mud, as long as they have a bath or a shower later.

    But think of the CHIILDRENNN! I hear these people say...well actually, I am - I don't want my children having a defective immune system because I wouldn't let them within 6 feet of dirt or grime before I'd sprayed them with Dettol first.

    Maybe I'm just a potential child abuser...please, Ken, don't let them have my IP address!!!

  15. Anonymous10:07 PM

    Anon 7:20 PM

    You’re probably right!

    If unauthorised individuals or groups within local councils, pressure groups, schools, the EU etc are hijacking the Health & Safety bandwagon then the problem needs to be managed.

    In the days when I drove a Ford and wanted to complain, the problem often became associated with some part of the Ford organisation other that the part I was talking to. E.g. it would be Ford Motor Company who were to blame whereas I was dealing with a Ford retailer.

    The brand had the ability to morph into a multi-headed Hydra at key moments. The problem was caused by a bad head while the customer contact was the good head that was just as frustrated as everyone else.

    That approach is unsustainable but I don’t think they try that one on any more.

    Like many things, there may have been an inkling of sensibility and measure in the original concept of Health & Safety, however at present, Health & Safety is, on the whole, associated with rank lunacy, with rules for the sake of rules, and with something wildly out of control and destroying the fabric of our society.

    There isn’t much time left for the professionals to regain control and convince the nation that Health & Safety is not going to be the death of us all.