Tis a Monday morning, and therefore a good time to award my prestigious and world famous "Prats of The Week" award.
This week the award goes to Tesco.
Tesco is refusing to sell alcohol to parents shopping with their children.
Tesco are under the foolish delusion that this somehow will reduce underage drinking.
Tesco has issued an edict to its cashiers, who have been told not to supply alcohol if they suspect an adult is buying the drink for an underage youth.
Staff have been told to "err on the side of caution" (a very Nannyesque phrase - so much caution, so little common sense) when interpreting the policy.
Needless to say, given that we live in Nanny Britain, commonsense has been thrown out of the window and hapless customers shopping with their children have been told by Tesco staff to put alcohol back on the shelves.
Debbie Bell, a housewife from York, was told she could not buy a crate of lager at a Tesco Extra in the city with her stepson Michael Bruce, 18.
Mr Bruce, a student, was unable to show the cashier any proof of his age and his mother was told to put the 24 cans of Fosters and a bottle of cider back on the shelf.
Dominic Zenden, a television medium, was told he could not buy six bottles of Budweiser beer when he was accompanied by his 15-year-old daughter Devon. Mind you, since he is "psychic", he should have seen that one coming!
A cashier at the shop in Sprowston, Norwich, refused to believe Mr Zenden was not going to share the drink with his daughter.
"I was dumbfounded. There was absolutely no indication that my daughter would be drinking the alcohol – it was for me.
But the woman told me that they don't sell alcohol to people who have children with them."
A Tesco spokesman said:
"I can understand the frustrations of the customer but I think that any reasonable parent would understand the problem and support our policy."
It's not up to a grocer to dictate to parents how they introduce their children to alcohol.
Tesco seem to have a wee bit of a split personality when it comes to booze, on the one hand they would us believe that they are highly responsible when it comes to selling alcohol and not encouraging "binge drinking". On the other hand, they have been known to sell booze at 22p per can.
Yet in March I wrote:
"They have recently publicly demanded that Nanny introduce new laws to ban the sale of cut-price alcohol.
Tesco claims that this is in response to the public concern over the level of drink-fuelled crime and disorder.
Tesco claim that legislation is required to 'ensure responsible pricing on alcohol'.
Now the more intelligent amongst you may well ask, why doesn't Tesco simply put their prices up?
Oh dear oh dear, how little you understand the dilemma that Tesco finds itself in.
You see, if it were to do that people would simply shop elsewhere; and we couldn't have that now, could we?"
Tesco, well deserving Prats of The week.
The solution to this is simple, boycott their stores.
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
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