As we all know, Nanny hates parents. In Nanny's view parents are pretty poor at their job, the state provides a far more robust and efficient means of educating and bringing up children.
Indeed, Nanny is so keen to keep parents away from their children that she proactively encourages both parents to go to work and leave their kids at Nanny's day care centres, schools and other state run organs for as many hours a day as possible.
I should point out that the added benefit that Nanny gets out of both parents working is a very nice boost, via taxation, to her rapidly dwindling finances.
Anyhoo, to further tighten her grip on the lives of families, and most especially the children, Nanny is launching a new scheme whereby she will send text messages to parents telling them how to bring up their children and how to solve their relationship problems.
This little scheme, called "Parent Know How", will cost us £44M.
The hapless parents who want Nanny to help them live their lives will be able to text queries to counselling services, and log onto special social networking sites.
Nanny is particularly keen to target single parents with her text messages.
In a variation of this scheme, there will also be a text message service whereby a partner can text Nanny if they suspect that their partner is having an affair.
That brings a whole new layer of state intrusion into people's lives, now it is not just neighbours and councils spying on our smoking and garbage disposal habits but Nanny will now be spying (via our loved ones) on our bedroom habits.
I have my own suggestion for a new text service, it's called "Fark Off Nanny". You simply text in the appropriate "F Off" phrase, and it gets sent directly to the mobile phones of all members of the government and to the local council(s) of your choice.
I reckon that would be a real winner!
What do you think?
I am open to offers from technologically savvy people, who would like to set this up with me in partnership.
Note - this idea is now copyright.
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