Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Nanny Bans Swans

Oh dear Nanny does make an utter fool of herself sometimes, as the good people who run The Scream gallery in Mayfair will attest to.

The gallery had been exhibiting a photograph of a naked woman and a swan (a modern depiction of the Greek myth of Leda and the Swan - according to Greek mythology, the god Zeus took the form of a swan to seduce Leda. She later bore his children, Polydeuces and Helen of Troy) for a month, when one day a Metropolitan police officer saw the image from a bus.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, two uniformed officers went to the gallery and told Jag Mehta, the sales director at the gallery, that the photo suggested that the gallery condoned bestiality (which is a criminal offence).

Factoid: swans are highly aggressive creatures, how the hell could anyone get near enough to one to be able to interact with it in any sexual way?

Ironically the exhibition was over and so the gallery took the image down, but the police remained until they saw that it had been taken down.

Miss Mehta did explain to the police that the myth of Leda’s rape by Zeus was an acceptable form of erotica in Victorian times. However, the police replied (according to The Telegraph) that:
They said they didn’t know anything about the myth.” 
Despite telling the gallery to remove the image (which the gallery is still happy to show to people who wish to see it) the Metropolitan Police have said that the incident had not been recorded as a crime.

Ironically, despite ordering the gallery to the picture down, the police have not taken action against the Evening Standard for publishing a picture of it!

I am confused, if it's a crime to show the picture in a gallery why is it not a crime to show the picture in a newspaper and on its website?

Oh and while we are on the subject of swans, why is it that Tchaikovsky's ballet Swan Lake (where a prince falls in love with a princess who had been turned into a swan) allowed to be performed?

Censorship does seem to cause an awful lot of confusion, especially when people have to judge what they define to be "offensive", doesn't it?

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  1. Anonymous2:34 PM

    Listen ‘ere. It’s Brian Sewell again. You know, the famous art critic and gobshite.

    I have had a butchers at the photo and seeing as I am the resident painting expert here I thought I would do a bit of criticing of it for you.
    Don’t worry, it’s free today, but you owe me one OK.

    I have lost count on the number of times I have seen this picture. Loads of famous painters have done her. Leda is a bit like the Jordan of olden days, but with smaller tits. There is even a load of skulptures of her too.

    This photo is shit. You can’t see nuffin expect just a bit of nocker. It aint erotic at all. What is needed to make it horny is if the tart was posing with her feet behind her ears like one of them reader’s wives in Razzle. She would need a nicely trimmed twat which would do the hamburger shot a treat, and bigger tits too.
    The swan should have a ‘normus hard-on and there should be a speak bubble coming out of his gob saying sumfink funny like, ‘Fuck-a-Duck’.

    In my expert opinion, the photo is total bolloxs.

    Know what I mean.

  2. Slight correction needed, Ken - you say "Geese" are highly aggressive instead of Swans. I would add this rather depends on how you approach them!

    But back to the subject - either something is a crime, or it's not. If the Met are happy with the display, the gallery should tell the bobbies to go forth & multiply (which they probably also wouldn't understand)...

  3. Thanks Microdave, I got my birds muddled up!

  4. Tonk.7:07 PM

    'Ello, 'Ello 'Ello....Can you see we're in hi-viz....We are the state, do as you're told or we'll 'ave you.