Nanny Bans Vacuums and Other Devices

Euro Nanny is on the warpath again, this time she has fixed her gimlet eye upon the humble vacuum cleaner; and has decreed that as from 1 September vacuums with motors in excess of 1,600 watts will be banned.

For why?

Apparently, if you believe Nanny's dodgy science, these products contribute to climate change.

Euro Nanny will require vacuum cleaners to be sold with a new system of labels, which will show their cleaning performance and requires a minimum level of performance.

However, these labels will be bollocks; because they are self regulating (ie the manufacturers create them and test them etc).

Once she has banned powerful suckers, Euro Nanny will also be banning high wattage hair driers and kettles.

Why not just go the whole hog, and initiate mandatory power cuts everyday?

Let's face it Euro Nanny would really love to do that, given her dictatorial ambitions!

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Nanny Bans E Fags

Oh dear, not content with trying to ban the smoking of fags indoors, Nanny (in the form of WHO) is trying to ban the use of e fags indoors as well.

For why?

WHO claims that the fumes are marginally toxic to bystanders.

Pish posh!

Short of using an e fag with a plastic bag over your head I doubt that these devices are anymore dangerous than aerosols or car fumes (sorry car fumes are way more dangerous, but WHO don't seem to be doing anything about banning cars!).

In fact, even the anti smoking lobby thinks that WHO is talking bollocks. Hazel Cheeseman, director of policy and research at Action on Smoking and Health, in the Telegraph said there was "no evidence of any harm to bystanders from use of these devices".

The WHO report is another example of bollocks science, used by single issue fetishists to support their political agenda.

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Nanny Hates Fags - But Loves Money

As loyal readers know, Nanny absolutely hates fags and does her level best to stop us smoking.

However, not all in Nanny's garden is as rosy or as clear cut as that. Ladies and Gentlemen I present HM Treasury's open consultation on Minimum Excise Tax.

In brief Nanny is worried that we are smoking less, and that when we do smoke we are smoking cheaper stuff (eg roll ups).

For why is she worried?

The less we smoke, and the cheaper we smoke, the less tax revenue she raises!

AHA!

The solution?

A minimum excise tax that would increase Nanny's profits from our smoking. The document then goes on to explain how that would work, and how much extra revenue it would generate.

Hypocrisy?

Nanny?

Never!

One amusing point though, despite the document covering all manner of fag type matters (eg roll ups and counterfeits etc), it fails to mention the effect on the market of e fags. Rather a serious omission I would say!

Anyhoo, those of you who want to help Nanny out of a financial hole should do the decent thing and start smoking 20 cigars a day; for Queen and country!

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Nanny's Heart Attack on a Plate

I was gemused, and heartened, to read that at least one of Nanny's hospitals still allows people (staff, patients and visitors etc) a degree of choice wrt what they can purchase to eat within its confines.

Ninewells Hospital in Dundee, where doctors treat stroke and heart attack victims, has within its boundary an establishment that sells a “fry-up” pie (a pie with bacon, sausage, black pudding and beans, with an egg on top) for £1.50.

Unsurprisingly, one of Nanny's chums (Prof Mike Lean, former government adviser, and chair of human nutrition at Glasgow University) wants it banned because he regards it as a heart attack on a plate.

Maybe so, if one ate these pies everyday. However, as an occasional indulgence it will do no more harm than stuffing many other types of food down the gullet. Additionally, given how depressing hospitals are, the hapless patients/visitors/staff need something comforting to eat once in a while.

Professor Lean hates it, and is quoted by the Telegraph:

“It should never be anywhere near a hospital. It is laden with fat, salt and without a vegetable in sight. There should be strict guidelines for all food sold in hospitals.” 

It is not compulsory to buy one, and there is ample choice of fruit and low fat foods within the walls of the hospital.

We should be allowed some freedom of choice!

FYI, Professor Lean is wrong about a pie being a heart attack on a plate. The photo at the beginning of this article is of one of my Saturday night fry ups (accompanied by Red Stripe and bread and butter), that I indulge in every so often (now that's a heart attack on a plate!); I haven't keeled over yet!
 

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Nanny Bans Brighton Station Piano

In February of this year I wrote a cynical piece about a proposal by Peter Kyle (prospective Labour candidate for Hove) to install a piano in Brighton station.

I noted that commuters would be better pleased with an improvement to services etc.

However, time moved on and a piano was indeed installed. I was proved wrong and commuters, it seems, really rather enjoyed tinkling the ivories etc.

Sadly Nanny, in the shape of Brighton station bosses, has now decided that the piano isn't quite right.

For why?

#Brighton station bosses say the public piano will have to be moved because its too noisy
— BBC Sussex (@BBCSussex) August 22, 2014

This I find to be rather odd because it's a farking railway station in one of Britain's leading seaside resorts, does Nanny not know that the station is rather farking noisy anyway?

Methinks the decision is more to do with the crap, and widely ridiculed, queuing system that was created when new ticket machines were installed.

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Auntie Vexed Over Tattoo Discrimination

Oh dear I see that Auntie has got herself into a tizzy over tattoos and people's prejudices about them.

In a very lengthy and worthy article, Auntie asks if anti tattoo discrimination should be illegal.

In a perfect universe mankind would not have any prejudices at all, and we could all worship what we wanted, wear what we like etc.

However, in the real world like it or not people (both consciously and subconsciously) form judgements of others based on appearances, behaviour etc etc. Whilst some of these prejudices have been legislated against, it is nigh on impossible to legislate against every form of prejudice as there are simply too many of them.

Given the current state of the world, surely Auntie has more important things to fret about than tattoos?

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Prats of The Week - Sainsburys

Congratulations to a Sainsbury's store in Holborn, that thrust itself into the maelstrom of the Middle Eastern conflict on Saturday.

Fearing an attack by anti Israeli protesters, the store manager removed all the kosher products.

Colin Appleby, a customer was quoted by the Telegraph claiming that a staff member defended the decision, saying:

"We support Free Gaza."

All very well, maybe....except not all kosher products come from Israel; indeed many in that store were from Poland.

The removal of kosher products therefore does not target Israel, but targets people of the Jewish faith (who doubtless have a broad spectrum of views about what is happening in Gaza at the moment).

Were Sainsbury's to follow through on its own "logic" and "moral" stand, it would also presumably remove all Halal food as a protest against ISIS.

Suffice to say, once this nonsense appeared on Facebook, Sainsbury's backtracked and put the food back up on the shelves.

A spokesman for Sainsbury's said:

"It was an isolated decision made by in a very challenging situation. It was chilled food and he was simply trying to preserve it.

It was the manager's decision there and then – not company policy at all. A decision was taken by a store manager faced with a challenging situation outside the store." 

Prats!

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Family Guy Cameron

David Cameron

In the bad old days of the Labour government all policies were "vetted" for their impact on children; ie Nanny wanted all departments to be child centric.

Now that we have a coalition, nothing has changed. Cameron is now calling for all government policies to pass a "family test".

Nanny Cameron is of the view that parents and children are too often overlooked and can be left worse off by reforms. As from October, every new domestic policy "will be examined for its impact on the family".

As per the BBC:

"I want every government department to be held to account for the impact of their policies on the family."

Ugh, this is nothing more than a rehash of Labour's child centric policy which achieved bugger all aside from increased bureaucracy.

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Salt Is Safe - The Joy of Salt

As loyal readers know, I have written many times about Nanny's obsession with the amount of salt that we eat. In fact the very first article I published, on 18 September 2004, was about salt.

Anyhoo, moving on to 2104 and it seems that some people have finally realised that salt may in fact be not as harmful as Nanny would have us believe.

A study conducted by Dr. Salim Yusuf of McMaster University's Population Health Research Institute in Hamilton, Ontario notes that the amount of salt most people consume is okay for heart health — and too little may be as bad as too much.

As loyal readers know, on the assumption that your kidneys are working and that you drink water the body is perfectly capable of sweating/urinating any excess salt out of the system.

Indeed, when I was a nipper I would eat large chunks of slat from a sea salt block that my mum would buy and have me grind up for the salt jar. I am in tip top condition, and haven't seen a doctor since 2000 (and that was only for a medical for a job)!

Dr Yusuf is quoted in the Mail, quite rightly noting that some people make a nice little earner from anti salt campaigning:

"There are those who have made a career out of promoting extreme sodium reduction that will attack us,' he said. It's better to focus on healthy lifestyles and overall diets instead of a single element, 'and that is something everyone can rally around."

Suffice to say Dr Yusuf's findings have been criticised by Nanny's chums within the scientific community.

The reality is, that if you are healthy and have a decent fluid intake then your body will handle it.

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Nanny Bans Balls

Nanny has got the bit between her teeth wrt health and safety again, and this time she is focused on the dangers to children of heading a football.

Dr Michael Grey, reader in Motor Neuroscience at the University of Birmingham's School of Sport, Exercise and Rehabilitation Sciences is of the view that children should not 'head the ball' when playing football; as it can cause brain injuries in the young, and may affect professional players as well.

Dr Grey is quoted by the Telegraph very kindly saying he doesn't want to ban sport:

"I do not think that children should stop sport, the obesity epidemic means we need to encourage them.

But we do need to look at rule changes and the way we train children.

Children should not be heading the ball. We don't know at what age children's necks become strong enough to withstand the movement of the head when the head is struck by the ball.

Some of my colleagues have suggested 14 but I really think it is individual.

In addition the brain starts to shake and rotates when the head is struck by the ball.

The brain bounces back and forth and it is the impact of the brain against the inside of the skull causes additional damage."

Aside from Jeff Astle West Bromwich Albion striker, who died in 2002 from a brain disease and the coroner ruled it as 'industrial disease' suggesting his profession had caused the damage, please could Nanny provide us with a list of those who have had brain injuries directly as a result of heading footballs?

No?

I thought not!

Disregarding the above, a report published in June by Chris Bryant MP and paralympic gold medalist and member of the House of Lords, Baroness Grey-Thompson, entitled 'Concussion can kill' called for a parliamentary investigation into head injuries in sport and warned that law suits could follow.

The report asks if steps can be taken to limit the number of times players had the ball in football, particularly youth players.

Pardon?

Are they seriously suggesting that players have their access to the ball restricted?

What planet do these people come from?

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Political Correctness

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Booze Matters - A Minister For Booze

Oh dear, Nanny is getting her knickers in a twist over booze again.

As a "logical" consequence to her oh so "successful" labelling of fag packets (which has resulted in the near elimination of smoking in the UK......cough) Nanny has decided to do something similar with booze.

An All-Party Parliamentary Group on Alcohol Misuse has decreed that health warnings should be compulsory on bottles of wine, beer and spirits to raise awareness of the dangers of excessive drinking and the growing problem of liver disease.

Yawn!

Tracey Crouch, the chair of the group, said people should be as aware of the dangers posed by excessive drinking as they are of the risks associated with smoking. She is quoted in the Guardian:

"The facts and figures of the scale of alcohol misuse in the UK speak for themselves: 1.2 million people a year are admitted to hospital due to alcohol; liver disease in those under 30 has more than doubled over the past 10 years; and the cost of alcohol to the economy totals £21bn. Getting political parties to seriously commit to these 10 measures will be a massive step in tackling the huge public health issue that alcohol is."

How detached from reality are these people?

Do they really think that a label will change the risk attitude/life style of a hardened drinker?

Whilst we are on the subject, is it not a bit rich that a group of people who have the privilege of drinking to all hours in bars subsidised by us should lecture us about our drinking habits?

Factoid: we the taxpayer subsidised Parliament's bars and restaurants to the tune of £6 million last year.

The report also recommends a minimum unit price on alcohol, increased regulation of marketing, a reduction in the drink drive limit and the appointment of a single minister responsible for reducing "alcohol harms".

FFS!

Do we not already have a health minister, why the fark do we need one for booze as well?

Shall we also have ministers for fags, drugs, obesity etc etc?

Pardon my French, but I am sick to death of these farkers in Parliament dictating to us about how we should live our lives!

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Hurricane Bertha - Nanny's Damp Squid

Unsurprisingly, given that Nanny and her minions from the Met Office have been shrilly warning us about the dangers of hurricane Bertha, the reality of Bertha is that it is nothing more than a wee bit of rain and some gusts of wind.

A complete and utter damp squid!

Ironically, in Brighton, the 999 Fun Day (wherein the emergency services show people what they do) has been cancelled because there were concerns about people's safety.

The Brighton & Hove 999 Fun Day tomorrow is sadly cancelled due to anticipated appalling weather #Bertha #publicsafety1st #999daycancelled
— Brighton&Hove Police (@BtonHovePolice) August 9, 2014

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Nanny Bans Builders' Bottoms

I am gemused to see that Jane Ellison, Nanny's public health minister, has got herself into a lather over builders' bottoms.

She is quite disgusted at the sight of builders' cracks appearing at the top of their trousers, and wants this practice to stop.

Actually, she is OK with it if the builders are fit and "well oiled"; it's just, in her view, too many builders are out of condition.

So she wants them to get into shape, so that she can enjoy the sight of a well oiled builder's arse protruding forth above the trouser line!

Department of Health officials are quoted by the Independent:

"The image of the bottom-baring, overweight builder” would be replaced by “workers who are hands-on, well-oiled machines”.

Methinks that Ms Ellison has a wee bit of a builder's fetish!

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Mother Russia Sanctions Herself

In the UK we have Nanny, in Russia they have "Mother".

Mother Russia, as a result of the ongoing tit for tat argument with the rest of the world over Ukraine, has got so peeved that she has banned food imports from the EU, US, Canada and Australia.

All very well, but those of you with half a brain  may notice that this is in effect Mother sanctioning her own people and doing to the West's work for it.

So for the good people of Russia it's back to the good old days of rationing and queuing for an out of date can of pineapple chunks of dubious origin.

Result! 

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Nanny Declares Gardeners' Question Time Racist

In a move of utter knobheadery Nanny, in the form of Dr Ben Pitcher, a senior lecturer in sociology at the University of Westminster, has declared BBC Radio 4's long running Gardeners' Question Time to be racist.

Pardon?

According to Pitcher the show is riddled with "racial meanings" disguised as horticultural advice. It seems that discussions about soil purity and non-native species are thinly disguised attempts to stir nationalist and fascist beliefs.

Pitcher is quoted by the Telegraph:

“Gardeners’ Question Time is not the most controversial show on Radio 4, and yet it is layered with, saturated with, racial meanings. 

The context here is the rise of nationalism. The rise of racist and fascist parties across Europe. Nationalism is about shoring up a fantasy of national integrity. 

My question is, what feeds nationalism? 

What makes nationalism powerful?” 

Quite what this has to do with talking about petunias etc I have no idea.

Anyhoo, some other person (Baroness Lola Young, a former professor of cultural studies and star of Metal Mickey) also backed Pitcher's demented theories:

“I remember back in the late 80s-early 90s when rhododendrons were seen as this huge problem, and people were talking about going out rhododendron-bashing. 

That was at a time when Paki-bashing was something that was all too prevalent on our streets.”

Are these people stupid or just desperate for publicity?

Oddly enough Pitcher is currently trying to sell a book about race, though he doesn't want you to buy it from Amazon (because they don't, in his view, pay enough tax).

Daisy Daisy how does your garden grow?

In the world of Pitcher and Young, poor Daisy's cockle shells and silver bells would be banished to the hinterland.

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The Great War

Tweets by @WW1FO

Countdown To The Great War

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DAYS	HRS	MINS	SECS

Nanny Hates Fags - Nanny Bans Outside Smoking

As we all know, Nanny hates fags (despite making gazillions every year from the tax she puts on them). As such she has done her level best to stop us from smoking in buildings and cars.

However, banning us from smoking inside is simply not good enough, Nanny also wants to ban us from smoking outside.

Step forward Barbacoa in Crosby, which becomes that first restaurant/bar in the UK to ban smoking in their outdoor beer garden.

For why?

It seems that some customers have been deterred by the fact that the outdoor space has become an 'al fresco smoking lounge.'

Barbacoa owner Gordon Tartt is quoted by the Mirror:

“Customers were complaining that the outside of the restaurant was becoming an al fresco smoking lounge so we’ve created a place where people can eat and drink in a smoke free environment.

During the fine weather people want to go outside but many were turned off by the huddle of smokers. It’s already proving extremely popular and we’re delighted to receive the very first Fresh Air award.”

Melody Holt, tobacco control manager at the Roy Castle Lung Cancer Foundation, said:

“This is the first smoke free beer garden that we’re aware of and we would encourage other establishments to follow their lead.

We believe it’s really important that when people step outside for fresh air, that’s what they should get rather than clouds of smoke. The dangers of passive smoking are well-known.”

I like fresh air too, therefore please can Nanny ban people from driving cars, lorries and flying planes?

No!??

I thought not!

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