The Dangers of Doormats

Oh dear I see that Nanny is having another hissy fit over doormats again. Loyal readers will recall that this issue has been featured on this site on a number of occasions, as Nanny gets it into her head that doormats present a health and safety hazard.

This time it is the residents of Brecon Court, in Gipton, Yorkshire who have incurred Nanny's displeasure over their outside doormats; seemingly the doormats are a "fire hazard".

The Telegraph reports that around 90% of the tenants are pensioners and, as such, are likely to have a doormat outside of their homes.

The residents received a letter about the doormat ban from Leeds East North East Homes, the local council's housing management organisation.Residents who decide not to remove their mats will be issued with a legal letter from Leeds City Council.

A spokesperson for East North East Homes Leeds said:

"The safety of our residents is our primary concern. 

Fire safety assessments have been taking place for some time. Rather than having a blanket policy of removing all items, we're discussing with residents where and how relevant items can be moved so they no longer pose a potential obstruction in case of an emergency. 

This approach means that items no longer cause a hazard and surroundings still look appealing. West Yorkshire Fire Service have been closely involved in the development of our approach. 

Unfortunately, in a very small number of cases where items could impede evacuation in case of a fire, residents have not discussed this with us or have refused to move the items. 

In these cases we have the legal powers to remove the items to ensure the safety of all our tenants."

Sigh, 'twas ever thus!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Danger of Mats

Oh dear I see Nanny's pet hate has vomited itself into our lives again.....I refer of course to the dangers of doormats!

Lubin Reyes, like many householders, has placed a doormat outside of his home of ten years. Sadly for him he resides in a block of flats in Bedford that are under the jackboot of Nanny.

His mat has offended Nanny (Bedfordshire Pilgrims Housing Association) and was therefore covered in warning tape together with a sign reading "move it or lose it".

For why?

The housing association said it was a health and safety hazard.

What kind of health and safety hazard?

A fire hazard!

Mr Reyes is keeping the mat.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - Tower Hamlets Homes

Aha it is midweek and time, methinks, for another of my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to Tower Hamlets Homes (THH), who are responsible for council housing in Tower Hamlets.

For why?

Ask Sister Christine Frost (a nun, but no relation I hasten to add), who stood up for herself and her neighbours when THH lackeys and jobsworths took away (ie stole) her neighbours' doormats and cut down (and steal) their washing lines.

Sister Christine told them to do something more constructive, such as tackling yobs.

Why does Tower Hamlets Homes want to remove doormats and washing lines?

Why health and safety of course!

Loyal readers of this site will recall that doormats have featured several times here (use the search box to hunt down the relevant articles), it seems that Nanny really has a bee in her bonnet over these "insidious" "threats" to our health and safety.

Anyhoo, THH not being a company to do things by halves (and clearly knowing that they would be given a hard time) sent their lackeys along with police protection to the Will Crooks Estate in Poplar in order to enforce the rules.

It as not just doormats and washing lines that were removed (stolen by the lackeys), but also children's bicycles chained to railings.

Sister Christine chaired a residents meeting formally protesting THH's actions and demanding that the doormats etc be returned.

Make no mistake, police protection or not, the removal of people's property by THH is theft!

As if by magic THH, having faced the humiliation of a public drubbing, duly grovelled and squirmed out a mealy mouthed "apology/excuse" claiming that they "thought" that they were following "guidance" from the fire brigade.

They didn't even have the guts to say "we were only following orders", merely that they "thought" that they were following "guidance".

Useless, pathetic and spineless!

Seemingly, for now, the health and safety measures were now "on hold".

Pathetic!

Why in the bowels of Christ do we allow people and organisations such as this to control our lives?

The government wants to find areas to cut?

THH is an excellent starting point for eradication of wasted money.

Hand control of council estates over to the residents, who should be made responsible for the maintenance/governance of the estates (grants from the government for the maintenance of the estate would be accounted for, and audited, by an independent professional).

All private apartment blocks and estates have to do this, why are council tenants deemed by Nanny to be incapable of running their own lives and estates?

Tower Hamlets Homes, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Trip Hazard

Be warned the Health and Safety Gestapo have donned their jackboots again and are back to their favourite subject, the alleged "trip hazard" posed by welcome mats.

Residents of the rather amusinbgly named "Revenge House" block of flats, at The Anchorage, Gosport have recently been told by the Gestapo in their local council to remove their welcome mats lest someone trip over them.

Residents who do not remove the mats have been threatened with court action, and possible eviction.

Ironically Cllr Keith Gill, the head of the council's housing board, thinks that this is a load of bollocks:

"I would be very opposed to any kind of legal action taking place over this. I think that would be heavy handed.

This is really sending out the wrong message and there are more important things that the council should be worrying about."

Well said sir!

Even Tom Mullarkey, chief executive of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, was against the mat ban.

"The application of common sense and balance is much more reasonable than the seeking of mindless increments towards absolute safety."

The extent of the council's stupidity is highlighted by the fact that instead of applying a blanket ban on all mats (which at least would be consistent with their daft policy), they intend to waste time and resources by assessing the risk posed by each mat on an individual basis.

What a complete bunch of knobheads!

Let's face it, local councils really are the pits.

Rather amusingly my own local branch of LA Fitness is using the "trip hazard" as an excuse for not putting anti slip matting around the sides of their swimming pool, I am sure that this is nothing to do with saving money.

Good luck to them in the courts if someone slips on the wet tiles, as I and others have nearly done, and breaks a few bones.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Doormat Inspectors

This story has rather struck a chord with me, as a very similar thing happened in our apartment block.

Stanley Samuels, a resident of Brookshill Gate in Harrow, recently received a letter from his management company telling him to get rid of his doormat because it was a trip hazard.

In fact all the residents of Brookshill Gate received written notification from HML Hawksworth saying that they are no longer allowed to have front doormats, as they are seen to be a trip hazard.

Mr Samuels said:

"They hand delivered letters to all of us, they said that if we have got a mat they will throw it away.

I thought it was ridiculous but rather than my mat being thrown away, I've brought mine inside.

When visitors come to stay, I just want to them to be able to wipe their feet and not make my carpet dirty.

The whole world has gone mad if you think about it, all the things we used to be able to do we are not allowed to anymore.

I've lived here for three years and no one has tripped over a mat, or broken their leg or anything.

The law with the mats is part of health and safety rules which applies to flats like these, but it appears the law is wrong.

How many people have fallen over their mats in a mad rush to get out?"

The 18-flat complex is home to residents of all ages.

The letter said:

"Following a recent health and safety site inspection it has been bought to our attention that you have a doormat in the communal parts of the building.

Please can you remove the doormat as this is a breach of health and safety regulations.

Please be advised that if the doormat is not removed we will have no choice but to remove the doormat in due course."

As you can see, Nanny was even threatening to steal the mat if her orders are not obeyed. She can't do that!

The reason that this strikes a chord with me is that exactly the same thing happened in our apartment block last year. Nanny's rules require that there is a health and safety inspection by "experts" (third parties who have set themselves up to make easy money from Nanny's rules).

Our "expert" produced a weighty report that contained many photos of "dangerous" mats, a firedoor propped open (to allow painting to be done that day) etc. We were told to have our mats removed.

Here's where it gets good...I am on the board (now chairman) of our management company...ahah!.

The "expert" was duly told to fark off, and that any attempt to remove my mat would be met with lethal force!

We have of course ignored the doormat inspector's report.

Interestingly, a few months after his visit, it was discovered that in one block the fire alarm system could not be heard on the upper floor, the emergency lighting didn't work and that outer wall studding was loose thus presenting a genuine risk of things falling off the building.

Our doormat inspector (who allegedly was here to provide us with a health and safety report) found none of those genuine risks.

The truth is that many of the so called "experts" who claim to offer health and safety advice/reports are nothing more than amateur scam merchants, feeding off Nanny's ill thought out health and safety legislation.

There are genuine experts who do provide a very necessary and useful service, unfortunately thanks to the actions of the scam merchants the public now regard all such members of that profession with contempt and ridicule.

Nanny is making a complete fool of herself, and deserves to be held in the highest possible contempt.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The New Nanny Store

Here we go folks, come and buy the new range of T shirts, coffee mugs, dog coats, mouse mats, badges etc all featuring the new Nanny Knows Best logo.

These wonderful products make the ideal gift for friends, family and Gordon himself.

Buy them here Nanny

Classic Nanny items, featuring Bliary Poppins, can still be bought here Nanny Classic

Happy shopping!

Nanny Bans Doormats

"It was Health and Safety what done it!"

That will be the epitaph written on the future tombstone of British freedom. Health and Safety is the fashionable excuse used by Nanny, and all her acolytes, for banning all manner of things with which they disagree.

Now Nanny's chums in Bristol City Council have decided that doormats, used to wipe your feet upon (ie placed in a specific position by an outside door), are a tripping hazard.

Nanny has therefore banned them from communal hallways in council run housing schemes.

Woe betide the hapless tenant who disobeys Nanny, and keeps their doormat by the door, they will have their beloved doormat confiscated and destroyed.

Seemingly, after many decades of use, it has been discovered by Nanny that doormats could hamper escape from a building if a fire broke out.

Now, could anyone tell me precisely how many thousands of people have died because a doormat obstructed their escape path from a burning building?

No idea?

I am 100% certain that Nanny has not a clue either (I would hazard a guess that the figure is less then the fingers on one hand), that doesn't matter though because Nanny doesn't use facts to back up her prejudices.

Needless to say, the good people of Bristol think that this edict is bollocks, and that the council ought to be doing more important things with their time and the tax payers' money.

Chris Evans, who lives in a council-owned block of flats in Henbury, said rather wryly that if the council were so worried about people tripping up, then they should fix the city's pavements.

Rather oddly, the council have graciously allowed people to keep the doormats on the inside of their apartments. So let's get this right, doormats may prevent you from escaping a burning building if they are on the outside but are perfectly safe if they are on the inside?

Can anyone explain that load of bollocks to me?

Nanny's official explanation of this nonsense was communicated to residents, by way of a letter to residents in Brookridge House:

"During a routine Health and Safety inspection of the block,

it was noted that loose mats were present in hallways/corridors

outside of people's flats.

These represent a 'tripping hazard'

and should be removed immediately.

By all means have your own mats inside your front door

but please do not leave them outside, creating a risk to others."

Twats!

Mr Evans vented his spleen at the council:

"It is noted that the council advised of this tripping

hazard on the August 25;

advising that mats were to be removed by September 18.

Presumably it is in order to trip over these mats

during this 24-day interregnum?

This apart, Bristol City Council also says that,

if mats are not removed by the said date,

it will take the initiative and remove and dispose of such mats.

In my book, taking other people's property without their consent

used to be known as theft.

The fact that the council is announcing such theft in advance

only adds to the crass stupidity shown in this foolish episode.

I am minded to say that it is not the mats that need removal

but personnel who inflict such decisions on an unsuspecting public."

Feel free to vent your spleens at Bristol City Council, via this link Twats.

Nanny Bans Gum

Good news everybody, Nanny has decided that yet another aspect of our lives needs to be micro managed.

This time she has turned her beady little eyes to the problem of chewing gum, spat out upon the street.

Doesn't this all remind you of John Major's doomed "cone hot line" fetish, which he went on about as his government slowly collapsed around him?

Anyhoo Nanny has set up a nice new quango (not Tango), called the Chewing Gum Action Group (CGAG)!

CGAG has announced a drive to cut the amount of discarded gum in trial areas of Manchester, Preston in Lancashire and Maidstone, Kent.

It seems that to aid this new "initiative", disposal pouches will be handed out in pedestrian areas and distributed through retail outlets.

There will even be an advertising campaign in shopping areas, on telephone boxes and beer mats will try to persuade users to dispose of their gum responsibly.

Guess who will be paying for that then?

Yes, that's right, us!

There will also be a system of fines imposed for gum offences, ranging from £50 to £75.

In addition to the campaign, special gum wardens will be trained to monitor people's gum spitting activity.

Now call me stupid, but don't we already have an anti litter campaign system of fines in place?

The trouble with Nanny and her acolytes is that they know that they are failing to manage to country effectively, in respect of the major issues such as; health, education and transport. Therefore they try to distract everyone's attention by creating a flurry of unnecessary and expensive activity in areas of little consequence.

That, my friends, is the first step on the road towards dictatorship.