New Logo

Behold, in keeping with the "new age" of politics, www.nannyknowsbest.com brings unto you a new logo!.

The design team spent at least 30 minutes designing this monument to our "new age".

They welcome drinks of any sort being bought for them in recognition of their hard work.

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Busybody Tries To Ban Goodbody

Despite the never ceasing attempts by Nanny and her acolytes to suppress common sense, once in a while common sense does actually prevail in Nanny Britain.

One such example of common sense occurred in March when the Portman Group, which regulates brewers, rejected a busybody attempt by Alcohol Concern to ban the logo used by Wye Valley Brewery on their Dorothy Goodbody stout.

Their alleged crime?

Alcohol Concern felt that the blonde lady showing her thighs was "sexually suggestive".

So what?

Alcohol and sex are as inexorably linked as salt and pepper.

Half of the bonking in the world wouldn't have occurred without a stiff belt of booze beforehand.



Dorothy Goodbody stout has been in existence for 15 years and the Portman Group thought that Alcohol Concern were talking bollocks, they found that the brewery had not crossed the line from acceptable to irresponsible marketing.

Vernon Amor, managing director of Wye Valley Brewery, said:

"If you were to ban Dorothy Goodbody, where would it end?

Next thing you know there would be a ban on all the Carry On films and the iconic British seaside postcards."

I have little doubt that Nanny would love to ban those things as well!

Don't forget to wear you beergoggles tonight.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Orifice of Government Commerce

Nanny attempted to design a logo the other day, for her Orifice of Government Commerce.

The cost?

£14K

The result?

Bollocks!

Can you see what's wrong children?

Yes, that's right....

Nanny has now banned the use of the logo.

However, rest assured that you can now buy what will soon be a collector's item.

Please visit my store The Orifice of Government Commerce, where you can buy T shirts, stickers, cards and thongs etc.



Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The New Nanny Store

Here we go folks, come and buy the new range of T shirts, coffee mugs, dog coats, mouse mats, badges etc all featuring the new Nanny Knows Best logo.

These wonderful products make the ideal gift for friends, family and Gordon himself.

Buy them here Nanny

Classic Nanny items, featuring Bliary Poppins, can still be bought here Nanny Classic

Happy shopping!

Nanny Knows Best Welcomes The New PM

The design team at Nanny Knows Best have been working through the night to finalise the new logo for the site, in honour of Prime Minister Brown's unelected ascension to orifice.

Needless to say, this fine design will soon be available for sale on T shirts, mugs and other bits and bobs.

To really appreciate the logo, at its best, why not sing along to "A Gordon For Me"?

The tune can be listened to via this link "A Gordon For Me".

Plus Ca Change

There we have it ladies and gentlemen, it is now official, both Bliary Poppins and the Smooth Talking Bar Steward are leaving office.

The end of an era?

Yes.

The end of the Nanny state?

No.

The design team here at Nanny Knows Best are already working hard on the new logo for the site, to take account of of Smiler Brown's ascendancy to orifice.

In the meantime I would like to remind you that classic editions of Nanny Knows Best and Bollocks To The Bar Steward products (T shirts, thongs, coffee cups, pillows, hoodies etc) are still available for sale.

They will doubtless become collectors' items, get them before they are banned!

- Nanny Knows Best Shop

- Bollocks To The Bar Steward Shop

Money Wasted

Nanny loves to spend money, especially when she knows that it is not hers to spend.

Here's a little list of stuff that she has spent our money on recently.

The Home Orifice has spent around £0.9M on logos, and brand advice, for failing policy initiatives and quangos over the last 5 years.

Within this sum is £56K, spent on a circle with the word Respect in the middle, and £200K on a design for the Criminal Records Bureau.

Shadow Home Secretary David Davis said:

"This is typical of the Government's obsession

with spin over substance and delivery.

When it comes to respect the Government should start

respecting the public's intelligence.

The public realise that only money invested

in neighbourhood policing and tackling the causes of crime,

not jazzy logos, will cut anti-social behaviour."

James Frayne, campaign director of the Taxpayers' Alliance, thinks it's all bollocks.

Quote:

"There's clearly something deeply wrong with any department

that spends the best part of a million pounds of taxpayers' money

on logos that could have been designed by someone

on work experience in their lunch break.

No doubt 2007 will see the same sort of

comical incompetence from the department

that is supposed to be keeping us all safe."

Meanwhile Nanny is now mulling splitting the Home Orifice into two...if this happens, the "new improved" Home Orifices will of course need rebranding and new logos.

Marvellous!

Bollocks To The Bar Steward

I have taken on board an earlier suggestion from a visitor, who was angry that he would be arrested for wearing a "Bollocks To Blair" T shirt.

Here is Nanny Knows Best's answer to the ban:

"Bollocks To The Bar Steward"

A whole range of items bearing this fine logo, featuring Nannny's smooth talking bar steward, can now be purchased from Nanny Knows Best.





If you don't want a T shirt, may I interest you in a thong?

You can visit the store via this link Bollocks To The Bar Steward.

Nanny Bans Italics

Nanny has managed to hoist herself on her own petard, how sad!

In 1995 the Disability Discrimination Act was passed. This act was designed to ensure that those people with disabilities were not unfairly discriminated against.

The spirit and the terms of the legislation were good. However, those that drafted it did not take into account the sheer stupidity and thickheadedness of Nanny's acolytes.

Nanny's jobsworth acolytes have started to act on the very letter of this law, rather than use their common sense when interpreting it.

The Metropolitan Police found itself in breach of Nanny's new interpretation only recently. The police's logo:

"Working for a safer London"

Had to be changed to:

"Working for a safer London"

Now do you see the subtle difference?

Yes that's right; the first is in italics, the second is not.

Why change?

Simple, according to Nanny's lackeys, italics are a form of discrimination against the visually impaired.

Nice to see the police spend time and money on the important things isn't it?

Anyhoo, it seems that Nanny's much derided party political slogan "Britain Forward, Not Back" is also in breach of Nanny's strict interpretation of the act.

If you would like to tell her that she is breaking her own law, please write to Nanny at The No 10 Bunker.

The Thunderer

You may recall the Christmas competition on this site; about the cartoon that appeared in The Times, in December, that bore a striking similarity to this site's logo.

The matter has now been resolved.

After a few emails, back and forth, between myself and that most respected of media organs in which I suggested that maybe they would like to print a story about this site; they responded, very helpfully, by saying that they will not be taking me up on my suggestion.

So much for co-operation between media organisations!

Feel free to write to them telling them that this site deserves some publicity, The Times.

Christmas Competition

www.nannyknowsbest.com is pleased to announce that it is holding a special Christmas competition.

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from a visitor, who had seen a cartoon of "Blairy Poppins" (see left). He found it on The Times website at the following address http://images.thetimes.co.uk/TGD/picture/0,,165989,00.jpg

Now the eagle eyed amongst you will notice that it bears a distinct similarity to the logo of this site, even the title "Blairy Poppins" is the same.

What is odd is that I cannot find the article, or story, which the cartoon refers to on the Times website. Additionally, I wrote to the Times asking them about it; they replied that they could not trace it, and that it was not drawn by any of their cartoonists.

A real mystery, don't you think?

Therefore I would like to ask for your assistance in tracing the origin of this cartoon, and the article/story to which it relates.

The first person to correctly identify the source of the cartoon, and the story to which it relates, will win a fantastic Nanny Knows Best T shirt from Nanny's store.

The decision of the judges is final, and any attempt to argue with them will be ignored.

Charlie is Me Darling

I am pleased to report a minor victory, in the daily struggle against nanny, and her perverted ideas of perfection.

It seems that people power has saved a national icon; in the shape of the portly Little Chef logo, affectionately known as Charlie.

I understand that the Little Chef chain were to put Charlie on a diet, in order to reduce his plump girth. Nanny has been lecturing us for so long now about our waistlines, that people are beginning to feel that to be plump is morally wrong.

Therefore, the guys at Little Chef felt that they were doing the right thing by putting Charlie on a diet.

However, they did not count on the reaction of the British public; who fought back against this well intentioned, but misguided, idea.

After deluge of 15000 letters, from the public, Charlie will be saved.

That is a victory for common sense and people power, plus it shows that the people running Little Chef have decency and common sense.

However, there is a serious lesson to be learned here. Had Charlie been slimmed down, it would have sent yet another message out to the community as a whole; that to be overweight is unacceptable and wrong.

This is a very dangerous message to be pumping into peoples’ heads. There are many teenagers, and adults, made to feel inadequate and miserable; because nanny tells them that they are the wrong shape.

Some of these unhappy souls are driven to extreme measures; such as faddy diets and fasting, which damages them both physically and psychologically.

The bottom line is this; the human race is made up of tall people, short people, fat people and thin people.

That is the way that humans are, nanny has to learn to live with it!