Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The Doormat Inspectors

The Doormat Inspectors
This story has rather struck a chord with me, as a very similar thing happened in our apartment block.

Stanley Samuels, a resident of Brookshill Gate in Harrow, recently received a letter from his management company telling him to get rid of his doormat because it was a trip hazard.

In fact all the residents of Brookshill Gate received written notification from HML Hawksworth saying that they are no longer allowed to have front doormats, as they are seen to be a trip hazard.

Mr Samuels said:

"They hand delivered letters to all of us, they said that if we have got a mat they will throw it away.

I thought it was ridiculous but rather than my mat being thrown away, I've brought mine inside.

When visitors come to stay, I just want to them to be able to wipe their feet and not make my carpet dirty.

The whole world has gone mad if you think about it, all the things we used to be able to do we are not allowed to anymore.

I've lived here for three years and no one has tripped over a mat, or broken their leg or anything.

The law with the mats is part of health and safety rules which applies to flats like these, but it appears the law is wrong.

How many people have fallen over their mats in a mad rush to get out

The 18-flat complex is home to residents of all ages.

The letter said:

"Following a recent health and safety site inspection it has been bought to our attention that you have a doormat in the communal parts of the building.

Please can you remove the doormat as this is a breach of health and safety regulations.

Please be advised that if the doormat is not removed we will have no choice but to remove the doormat in due course

As you can see, Nanny was even threatening to steal the mat if her orders are not obeyed. She can't do that!

The reason that this strikes a chord with me is that exactly the same thing happened in our apartment block last year. Nanny's rules require that there is a health and safety inspection by "experts" (third parties who have set themselves up to make easy money from Nanny's rules).

Our "expert" produced a weighty report that contained many photos of "dangerous" mats, a firedoor propped open (to allow painting to be done that day) etc. We were told to have our mats removed.

Here's where it gets good...I am on the board (now chairman) of our management company...ahah!.

The "expert" was duly told to fark off, and that any attempt to remove my mat would be met with lethal force!

We have of course ignored the doormat inspector's report.

Interestingly, a few months after his visit, it was discovered that in one block the fire alarm system could not be heard on the upper floor, the emergency lighting didn't work and that outer wall studding was loose thus presenting a genuine risk of things falling off the building.

Our doormat inspector (who allegedly was here to provide us with a health and safety report) found none of those genuine risks.

The truth is that many of the so called "experts" who claim to offer health and safety advice/reports are nothing more than amateur scam merchants, feeding off Nanny's ill thought out health and safety legislation.

There are genuine experts who do provide a very necessary and useful service, unfortunately thanks to the actions of the scam merchants the public now regard all such members of that profession with contempt and ridicule.

Nanny is making a complete fool of herself, and deserves to be held in the highest possible contempt.

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  1. What? Ken, a door mat in a communal area? I'm surprised you weren't fined for fly tipping....Kerching....I would love to know where all these 'elf'n'safety rules and regulations are written down. It seems to be one of Nanny's cover all trump cards; If she doesn't like something she tends to have a set of four trump cards to play that most people will not challenge namely:

    a) The 'elf'n'safety card.
    b) The green card.
    c) The racist card.
    d) The childrens card.

    Often cards (b) and (d) are used in combination. Ie. Stop destroying the planet for our children's sake!!.... Yeah right, my little bonfire twice a year to burn garden waste will kill off all the kids and destroy the planet, but all the power used to generate all the light and hot air at our local authority's office, won't do any harm at all.

  2. Lord of Atlantis12:14 PM

    Like many of our readers, I suspect, I reach for the sick bag whenever health and safety rears its ugly head. As you rightly say Ken, there are genuine experts in this field, who are able to offer sensible advice. Unfortunately, the jobsworths and scam merchants have, as you also pointed out, hijacked this subject as a result of which the genuine experts are perceived to be tarred with the same brush. Moreover, Nanny very rarely seems to take advice from the genuine experts, but virtually always follows that of the jobsworths and scam merchants.

    I should also be interested to know what is the difference between one of Nanny's trolls removing a doormat, without the consent of it's owner, and you or I popping into the town hall and helping ourselves to whatever takes our fancy? Surely, both actions constitute theft?

  3. Anonymous12:46 PM

    Theft: (from memory)

    The dishonest appropriation of property belonging to another with the intention to permanantly deprive that owner of the said property.

  4. Sir Henry Morgan12:54 PM

    As far as I'm conerned, if you trip up over a doormat and break your leg that's exactly the same as tripping over a crack in the pavement and breaking your leg. i.e. a broken leg is exactly what you deserve.

  5. Dixon of Dock Green1:12 PM

    If I may just briefly hi-jack the thread to report that today I received a reply on behalf of David Cameron regarding the Great Plymouth Council Bin Criminalisation Scandal:

    Dear Dixon,

    I am writing on behalf of David Cameron to thank you very much for your e-mail.

    We are grateful to you for taking the trouble to get in touch about this issue, and for bringing your concerns about bin fines in Plymouth to our attention. I do appreciate what you have to say about this matter. However, as I am sure you appreciate, it would be wrong for David Cameron to interfere in decisions taken by democratically elected local councils outside of his own constituency.

    We are concerned at the way the Government has been putting pressure on local councils to target families with new bin fines, and our Shadow Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government, Eric Pickles MP, has been campaigning very hard against the imposition of bin taxes and other measures which amount to no more than stealth taxes on hardworking families. We do want people to behave in a more environmentally friendly way, but we should be encouraging, rather than enforcing them to do so. Our approach would mean abandoning the Government’s heavy-handed, top-down policies, and instead creating incentives to help people lead greener lives.

    Thank you, once again, for getting in touch.

    Yours sincerely,

    Alice Sheffield

    Office of David Cameron MP
    House of Commons
    London SW1A 0AA

  6. Dixon:

    Evening All!!

    Funnily enough, I too received an identical letter today.


    Night All


  7. smithy1:34 PM

    I too got the same letter.

  8. Anonymous1:41 PM

    If I may also hi-jack the thread for a moment. Here are some actual figures for you all.

    Earnings 34.5K

    Employer ni 3712
    Employee ni 3204
    paye 5808
    council tax 1720
    duty / vat on petrol 1170
    vat on gas / electric 72
    vat on drink / meals out 315
    vat on other purchases 620
    ins premium tax 68
    airport departure tax 40
    road fund licence 170
    stamp duty on house purchase
    divided by 10 years expected
    stay in house 9000 / 10 = 900
    New car vat divided by 5 years
    expected time car kept 2550 / 5 = 510
    less child benefit - actually nil
    less tax credits -actually nil

    Total tax take 18309.00

  9. Re the Cameron letters, I emailed him about the issue and have received fark all!

    I think he is rather wary of me nowadays, as I have emailed before on various Nanny topics and his responses have been in a similar vein (or is it vain?) to the ones that you have received.


    I'm afraid the Tories will not do that much to roll back the frontiers of the state, as it is so deeply ingrained in our society (think of how many people now work for the state).

    It will require a tax payers' revolt/strike (less aggressive, but more financially assertive than the brief poll tax demos) to roll back the state.


  10. Anonymous7:19 PM

    I have been a Conservative supporter for over four decades now but, I cannot take to David Cameron....Does anyone on here actually think Mr Cameron is a Conservative?

  11. Lord of Atlantis2:32 PM

    I too wrote to David Cameron, and received an identical letter to that sent to Dixon of Dock Gree n, Tonk and Smithy (and presumably everyone else who wrote to him)!