Nanny Bans Builders' Bottoms

I am gemused to see that Jane Ellison, Nanny's public health minister, has got herself into a lather over builders' bottoms.

She is quite disgusted at the sight of builders' cracks appearing at the top of their trousers, and wants this practice to stop.

Actually, she is OK with it if the builders are fit and "well oiled"; it's just, in her view, too many builders are out of condition.

So she wants them to get into shape, so that she can enjoy the sight of a well oiled builder's arse protruding forth above the trouser line!

Department of Health officials are quoted by the Independent:

"The image of the bottom-baring, overweight builder” would be replaced by “workers who are hands-on, well-oiled machines”.

Methinks that Ms Ellison has a wee bit of a builder's fetish!

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The Nappy State

I see that the Nanny state has finally achieved what it always wanted, namely being so heavily relied on by her subjects that people want Nanny to wipe their arses.

Such is the sorry state of affairs in our schools, where a survey carried out by the National Foundation for Educational Research found that children are still wearing nappies in class after the age of five in hundreds of schools across the country.

In fact teachers have reported pupils as old as 15, who have no medical conditions or developmental issues, but are unable to use the toilet on their own.

Nine per cent of heads and senior staff who responded said that in the past year a child aged between five and seven had worn a nappy to their school.

The figure was five per cent for classroom teachers.

Four per cent of heads and senior staff said that in the last year a child aged seven to 11 had worn a nappy to school.

Anne-Marie Middleton, a deputy head teacher from Dover, is quoted by the Telegraph:

“We’re seeing more and more children wearing nappies. We find that more and more children have an issue with toilet further up the school. I know of one 11 year old who has to wear pull ups at night. It can really place a strain on teachers. It stops lessons.”

It has nothing to do with poverty, but is down to the fact parents have given up on parenting and have passed the buck to the state. Ms Middleton says that pupils come to school without many basic skills including toileting, or being able to use a knife and fork or hold a paintbrush.

The findings in this survey are not new, a similar one was conducted in 2012:

"A recent survey carried out by Education and Resources for Improving Childhood Continence and The Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL), an interesting combination of bodies!, found that there is a worrying increase in the number of children who are still in nappies when they start primary school.

Teachers find their lessons increasingly disrupted by having to "clear up accidents".

For why?

It seems that some parents now believe that it is the state's role (ie schools) to provide toilet training!

Some schools have even been forced to put on parent workshops to help with toilet training."

Even the most primitive and slow witted of life forms on this planet manage to train their offspring wrt toilet matters (eg a cat uses a tray, a dog uses the neighbour's garden, a rat uses the local KFC etc).

How is it that the most "intelligent" life form on the planet now cannot even manage to do that?

Now myth has become truth, Nanny really does wipe your arse!

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Anus Horribilis

Oh dear I see much huffing, puffing and moralising shite being expounded by various commentators and the media over the "outrage" of the pictures of a young man partying in his hotel room in Vegas.

Whatever happened to the strict code of "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"?

Why oh why are people so shocked that a young man, who was partying, ends up without any clothes embracing a naked lady in a hotel room?

Go to any British town (or Spanish party town) on a busy night, and you will see the streets awash with drunken youths (male and female) baring their arses, boobs and a lot more; all of which will be captured on mobile phones and posted on YouWank the next day. At least the young man in the photo was in the "privacy" of his own room.

Men and women have been getting smashed and naked for millennia, this young man is hardly the first to do this and most certainly won't be the last.

Kudos to Boris Johnson for his most sensible observation:

"I think it'd be disgraceful if a chap wasn't allowed to have a bit of fun in Las Vegas. The real scandal would be if you went all the way to Las Vegas and you didn't misbehave in some trivial way."

As a country we really do seem to be incredibly anal about these things..sheesh!

That being said, whoever took the pictures and sold them is a real c**t!

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