Nanny's Child Spies

Nanny has decided to censor what children say to each other in schools, lest it be deemed by Nanny to be "sexist".

How will Nanny enforce her censorship I hear you ask?

Easy peasey.....

She will recruit volunteer squads of girls to police what kids are saying in school, and then grass them up to teachers!

A nice little lesson in Nazi style spying to teach kids I must say!

The censorship will be applied from five years old onwards, and amongst the list of banned words and phrases are:

- "man up"
- "go make me a sandwich"
- "cissy"
- "don't be a girl"
- "man up cupcake"

Who has come up with all of this bollocks?

Rather bizarrely it is the brainchild of the Institute of Physics, which has issued a report outlining what it wants done.

What the hell has it got to do with them??

Apparently lots, and as such the Institute has also decreed that schools should appoint senior teachers as 'gender champions'.

Haven't teachers got enough crap to deal with?

This will end in tears, and will be used by kids and the girl spies as a means of bullying each other.

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Brighton Council Hates Fags

As loyal readers will recall, in July and August I wrote about Brighton and Hove council's consultation about imposing a ban on smoking on Brighton Beach.

The consultation closed the other day and, surprise surprise, the council say that so many people (1,500 is not that many) responded to it that a report into what they said has been put back two months.

A report will now go to the city council’s health and wellbeing board in February 2016, as opposed to December 2015.

Why delay?

I dare say so that the council can manipulate the results in their favour!


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The Educational Value of Risk

Those of us of a certain age will doubtless recall the Ladybird books that showed children how to conduct unsupervised science experiments, craft models with matches and build rudimentary electric motors etc etc.

In order to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the brand, 200 original Ladybird illustrations are on display at the Ladybird by Design exhibition at the De La Warr Pavillion in Bexhill-on-Sea from January 24 to May 10.

The illustrations show children playing with matches, whittling with a knife and dipping their fingers in boiling water.

Other illustrations show them lighting a fire using a magnifying glass, stripping batteries, whittling wooden propellers and using tongues to make an electric circuit. 

 

All done without the use of adults, safety goggles, gloves or hi vis!

 

Halcyon days!

Sadly none of these activities are allowed by Nanny anymore, as such children are being deliberately dumbed down and made into timid risk averse adults.

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Nanny To Give Advice on Relationships

What could possibly go wrong? pic.twitter.com/ebOFRqufaH
— Jess Brammar (@jessbrammar) November 19, 2014

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Nanny Is Mother, Nanny Is Father - The Lunchbox Inspectors

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to an article in the Mirror (the paper that thinks it more newsworthy to entrap a foolish MP into sending a picture of his meat and two veg, than to report on more pressing matters such as the war in the Middle East) about Caen Community Primary School in Devon, which is removing food such as chocolate, crisps and fizzy drinks from pupils' lunchboxes.

For why?

Seemingly the school is acting on advice from the NHS and the Children's Food Trust.

Those lunchboxes that contain "Red" foods (eg colas etc) are confiscated until the end of the day, and the child given a healthy alternative. Those lunchboxes that contain "Amber" foods (eg white bread) give rise to a warning letter sent to parents.

All of this may be perfectly well intentioned, but it rather misses two points:

1 It is not Nanny's role to bring up other people's kids

2 The contents of a lunchbox does not give rise to an obese child, it is the daily diet and exercise regimen of a child that determines the size of that child. Unless Nanny intends to dictate the latter this policy will fail.

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Screen Five Year Olds For Coordination Problems

It seems that as a result of certain issues, eg the reduction in time spent playing outside and crap parenting, large numbers of children nowadays apparently have lousy physical coordination (eg they cannot sit still, stand upright or hold a pencil).

Sally Goddard Blythe, director of the Institute for Neuro-Physiological Psychology in Chester, said that all infants should be given physical checks at the age of five, because large numbers of children with basic developmental problems were “slipping through the net”.

Fair enough, maybe.

However, once a problem has been identified what exactly will Nanny do to correct it?

Is this not an issue that the parents should be addressing?

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Going Commando - The Importance of Cleanliness

I must admit to watching last night's fly on the wall documentary on Channel 4 about the Royal Marines Commando School with my mouth open at certain points.

Aside from the fact, for no logical reason that I can determine, commandos are not allowed to wear any clothing at all in bed; there was also the fact that the young men had to be taught how to have a shower.

I appreciate that cleanliness in barracks and when on tour of duty is important, as it lessens the risk of infection and disease. I understand that this message needs to be drummed into the recruits.

However, what I was surprised at was the fact that the young men had to be taken to a shower block where they were given a live demonstration by one of their naked superiors as to how to shower in graphic detail right down to washing the foreskin and butt crack (pix-elated for the sensibilities of the viewing public).

Has it come to this, that the Nanny state has removed any vestige of parental input into a child's upbringing that young men now have to be shown how to shower themselves?

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The Nappy State

I see that the Nanny state has finally achieved what it always wanted, namely being so heavily relied on by her subjects that people want Nanny to wipe their arses.

Such is the sorry state of affairs in our schools, where a survey carried out by the National Foundation for Educational Research found that children are still wearing nappies in class after the age of five in hundreds of schools across the country.

In fact teachers have reported pupils as old as 15, who have no medical conditions or developmental issues, but are unable to use the toilet on their own.

Nine per cent of heads and senior staff who responded said that in the past year a child aged between five and seven had worn a nappy to their school.

The figure was five per cent for classroom teachers.

Four per cent of heads and senior staff said that in the last year a child aged seven to 11 had worn a nappy to school.

Anne-Marie Middleton, a deputy head teacher from Dover, is quoted by the Telegraph:

“We’re seeing more and more children wearing nappies. We find that more and more children have an issue with toilet further up the school. I know of one 11 year old who has to wear pull ups at night. It can really place a strain on teachers. It stops lessons.”

It has nothing to do with poverty, but is down to the fact parents have given up on parenting and have passed the buck to the state. Ms Middleton says that pupils come to school without many basic skills including toileting, or being able to use a knife and fork or hold a paintbrush.

The findings in this survey are not new, a similar one was conducted in 2012:

"A recent survey carried out by Education and Resources for Improving Childhood Continence and The Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL), an interesting combination of bodies!, found that there is a worrying increase in the number of children who are still in nappies when they start primary school.

Teachers find their lessons increasingly disrupted by having to "clear up accidents".

For why?

It seems that some parents now believe that it is the state's role (ie schools) to provide toilet training!

Some schools have even been forced to put on parent workshops to help with toilet training."

Even the most primitive and slow witted of life forms on this planet manage to train their offspring wrt toilet matters (eg a cat uses a tray, a dog uses the neighbour's garden, a rat uses the local KFC etc).

How is it that the most "intelligent" life form on the planet now cannot even manage to do that?

Now myth has become truth, Nanny really does wipe your arse!

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Nanny Is Mother Nanny Is Father - Schooling From Two

I was thoroughly depressed to read recently that Nanny's head of Ofsted (Sir Michael Wilshaw) is of the view that kids should start formal schooling (ie attend nurseries) from the age of two.

He is of the view that radical changes are needed to address concerns that the early years system is “letting down” large numbers of children who start formal education lacking the most basic literacy and numeracy skills.

 

Sir Michael says that children (particularly those from poor families) “do better in school-based provision”. 

Poverty has nothing to do with it!

Were poverty an issue then poor children in Asia Pacific (eg Chinese children) would not be outranking their middle class Western counterparts in key skills such maths and literacy.

I dare say, were formal schooling to commence at two, Nanny will one day press for children to removed from their parents as soon as they are born.

The issue is not that of schooling, but incredibly lousy parenting. It is not the kids who need to be educated but the parents!

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Malaysian Ministry of Transport Prays To The Ocean

The BBC reports that the Malaysian Ministry of Transport has posted this bizarre comment on its Facebook page:

"Dear Indian Ocean, keep them safe, warm them, hug them, take away all fear, take good care of MH370 until we come to take them home."

Unsurprisingly it has now been removed.

This ranks alongside texting the bereaved families of those who died on the flight, for sheer ineptitude.

When government departments get things wrong, they never do it in half measures!

Nanny's Fat Child Catchers

I see that Boris Johnson has stated that Muslim children who risk radicalisation by their parents should be taken into care, and that a "fatal squeamishness" had developed over intervening in the behaviour of certain groups in society.

He is quoted by the BBC:

"At present, there is a reluctance by the social services to intervene, even when they and the police have clear evidence of what is going on, because it is not clear that the 'safeguarding law' would support such action.

A child may be taken into care if he or she is being exposed to pornography, or is being abused - but not if the child is being habituated to this utterly bleak and nihilistic view of the world that could lead them to become murderers.

I have been told of at least one case where the younger siblings of a convicted terrorist are well on the road to radicalisation - and it is simply not clear that the law would support intervention.

This is absurd. The law should obviously treat radicalisation as a form of child abuse.

It is the strong view of many of those involved in counter-terrorism that there should be a clearer legal position, so that those children who are being turned into potential killers or suicide bombers can be removed into care - for their own safety and for the safety of the public."

Irrespective of whether Nanny should remove children that she considers to be at risk of radicalisation, given that Nanny allows religious schools to exist proving "radicalisation" may be an uphill struggle, it is "ironic" that the alleged "squeamishness" at removing children does not extend to those who Nanny deems to be fat.

The Independent reports that 74 children have been put into care in the last five years because they are morbidly obese. The rationale being that allowing a child to become obese is akin to child abuse.

Tam Fry, a spokesman for the National Obesity Forum, said letting children get so obese at such a young age was “quite simply child neglect and abuse”.

“I understand the reluctance of social workers to act until medical professionals have seen the children. But once a care order is obtained, no delay on their part is acceptable. It is a national tragedy that so many children are now, quite rightly, being taken into care.”

Evidently Nanny believes that she can do a better job than the parents at raising children.


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Nanny Is Mother Nanny Is Father

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to plans by Scottish Nanny to appoint a "guardian" for every Scottish child, irrespective of whether the child has parents or is deemed to be at risk. Specifically Nanny wants to appoint specific named persons from the NHS and councils to monitor every young person's well-being from birth to 18.

How on earth do you effectively monitor a person for 18 years, surveillance cameras?

The proposals are outlined in the Scottish government's Children and Young People Bill, which will be debated by Holyrood at its final stage on Wednesday.

The Director of the Evangelical Alliance Scotland, Fred Drummond, is less than impressed and is quoted by the BBC:

"While we do not doubt the government's sincere intentions behind this bill, these proposals raise serious concerns about the role of the state in modern Scotland, have massive implications for the role of parents and appear to be begging for a fight in the law courts as some parents may wish to challenge it because it is not immediately apparent whether it is lawful under the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR)."

There is no provision in the Bill for withdrawal of consent by either parent or child.

As I have noted before, it is not the role of the state to act as mother and father to children who have decent parents and a safe domestic background.


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Nanny Is Mother, Nanny Is father

I am underwhelmed to see that the Tories are becoming more Nannyish in their views and policies, as evidenced by Michael Gove's recent announcement that he wants to extend the State school day to between 6pm and 7pm.

He claims that he wishes State schools to emulate private schools (which have post school day activities). This might be all very well and dandy if that meant such activities as model railway clubs, chess clubs and CCF etc.

However, pound to a penny, the reality will be that the extra hours will simply be used by Nanny and parents as a means of surrogate "daycare" or dumping ground for kids who actually don't want to be there after hours; ie Nanny will take on the role of the parents.

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Nanny Is Mother, Nanny Is Father

I can't say that I find Baroness Sally Morgan's suggestion that kids start school from the age of two to be exactly to my taste.

Her rationale being that poor parenting, poor diet and poor housing meant disadvantaged children were often not ready to start formal schooling at five.

Maybe so, but it is not the state's role to bring up children. Additionally, placing children as young as two in schools effectively "institutionalises" them and robs them of their childhood.

How on earth can such a proposal produce better more rounded adults capable of functioning for themselves in the real world?

The issue lies with the parents, not the state!

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Nanny Bans Packed Lunches

I am ungemused to see that Nanny is sticking nose into kids' lunch boxes again and, now that turkey twizzlers have been banned from school canteens, wants packed lunches banned so that kids are forced to eat school dinners.

Seemingly a Nanny commissioned school food review by two founders of the Leon restaurant chain says take-up is low at 43%, despite huge quality improvements.

Packed lunches are nearly always less nutritious than a cooked meal, say the authors of the School Food Plan.

Leon has been working on a plan for the food that is served in schools for Michael Gove & The Department of Education.

Leon founder Henry Dimbleby is quoted by the BBC:

"We do need to make packed lunch the less attractive option."

Nanny's Education Secretary Michael Gove said:

"What I'd like to see is more children eating school lunches and fewer having packed lunches, and more children feeling healthier and more energetic throughout the day."

All very nice I dare say, but when I was a lad I was happy enough opting out of school dinners and having a packed lunch.

A diet of banana sandwiches et al, chocolate cup cakes and crisps did not turn me into a lard bucket and my intellectual capabilities were unimpeded by the lack of over boiled cabbage in my diet.

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Nanny's Disconnect From The Food Chain

I am saddened but not particularly surprised to see that growing up in the Nanny state, where parents abrogate their responsibility for bringing up their children to the state, has produced a generation of children who have no idea where food comes from.

A survey conducted by the British Nutrition Foundation (BNF) of 27,500 five to sixteen year olds highlighted that approximately 33% of UK primary pupils think cheese is made from plants, and 25% think fish fingers come from chicken or pigs (given the ongoing scandal over processed foods, that may in fact be nearer to the mark!).

To add to the confusion, a large number of kids also seem to be under the delusion that pasta and bread are meat based products.

A further 10% think that spuds grow on bushes or trees.

Roy Ballam, education programme manager at BNF, is quoted by the BBC talking about BNF's Healthy Eating Week which aims "to start the process of re-engaging children with the origins of food, nutrition and cooking, so that they grow up with a fuller understanding of how food reaches them and what a healthy diet and lifestyle consists of."

A spokesman for England's Department for Education said:

"We want to encourage children to develop a love of food, cooking and healthy eating that will stay with them as they grow up."

That's all very nice and dandy, but I learned about food and cooking from my parents and grandfather; not the state. Indeed on a Saturday morning my dad used to regularly take me to the local butcher's shop to see the carcasses hanging in the cold room and to watch the sausage machine at work.

These findings show that parents are failing in their primary responsibility in bringing up their children to have a basic understanding of how the world functions and how to feed themselves. It is not the role of the state to teach children how to feed themselves, just as it isn't the role of the state to teach children how to tie their own shoe laces or wipe their butts.

Cooking classes etc are fine and useful for developing an understanding of food groups, nutrition and hygiene etc. However, the basic understanding of where food comes from should start in the home; otherwise parents will have no role whatsoever in the upbringing of their own children!

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Netmums' Everlasting Childhood

I see that Netmums website users are complaining that children are under pressure to grow up too fast. They cite the fact that girls are made to worry about their appearance, and that boys are pushed into "macho" behaviour at too young an age.

The website's co-founder Siobhan Freegard is quoted by the BBC:

"The pace of modern life is so fast that it is even snatching away the precious years of childhood.

Children no longer want to be seen as children, even when as parents we know they still are.

There needs to be a radical rethink in society to revalue childhood and protect it as a precious time - not time to put pressure on children to grow up far too fast." 

In one respect Netmums have a point, there is undue pressure on kids wrt their appearance (both in terms of what they wear and their physique). However, that applies to society as a whole, not just kids.

Thanks to the impact of mass media we, as a society, have become obsessed with our appearance and the antics of vacuous airheaded z list celebrities who have done nothing worthwhile or tangible other than becoming famous for being famous and have thus become role models for adults and kids to naively follow.

However, regarding growing up too fast, loyal readers are only too aware that there are many "adults" who thanks to the cotton wool treatment in Nanny's schools and by over protective parents are still mentally and emotionally stuck in childhood; they are selfish, greedy, lazy and irresponsible.

Pre Nanny state, children were forced to become responsible at a very early age (or starve) by having to go out an work or join the forces (my own grandfather ran away to join the Royal Navy when he was but a child).

Whilst clearly it is not acceptable to return to the days when children were forced to work, in order to avoid starving, it is clearly also unacceptable to trap them forever in a cosseted existence that shields them from the realities of life and that prevents them from growing into mature, level headed and responsible adults.

You do the kids, nor society, any favours by wrapping kids in cotton wool!

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Question For Nanny

If the state is so benevolent, caring and all knowing how is it up to 1,200 patients died needlessly in Mid Staffordshire NHS, ill people were left to rot in soiled sheets, were unwashed and hungry and why did the state allow Gloria Foster to starve to death?

Once Nanny deems you to be too old to be of any "productive use" then she leaves you to rot.

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Nanny To Tax Coke?

I was gemused to read this morning that there are calls from various medical bodies, Sustain (a food and farming charity), Academy of Medical Royal Colleges, Friends of the Earth, the National Heart Forum and the Royal Society for Public Health et al for Nanny to start taxing Coke.

The snorty kind, or the fizzy kind?

Thinking for one nanosecond that Nanny had experienced a Damascus moment wrt legalising drugs, I was needless to say unsurprised to read that this tax refers to adding 20p or so to a litre of fizzy drinks that contain sugar.

Seemingly it would help avert the health disaster of the "mini time bombs" that are this country's children (their words not mine).

Pah!

Here's a simple and more effective solution for those parents who are worried about their children's consumption of sugar etc.

Don't buy them sugary, unhealthy shite to eat and drink!

It really is that simple!

My parents only ever bought Coke and crisps for me as a very rare treat, and limited my pocket money so I didn't go and waste it.

Problem solved, without the need for state intervention!

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Swedish Nanny - Gender Reversal

As loyal readers know, I am oft to spread my tentacles abroad to search out and highlight foreign Nanny's doings. This time I would like to highlight the doings of Swedish Nanny (a country I used to live and work in).

Step forward Top Toy, which produces children's Christmas catalogues in Sweden and Denmark for Toys R Us and BR.

So far so good.

However, RT reports that although the catalogues' page layouts are the same in both countries, the gender of children shown playing with the toys is reversed in the Swedish edition; eg a girl is shown playing with a machine gun in the Swedish edition.

Top Toy director of sales Jan Nyberg is quoted:

"With the new gender thinking, there is nothing that is right or wrong. It's not a boy or a girl thing, it's a toy for children." 

Top Toy is clearly running scared, in 2008, the company was criticised by Swedish Nanny's advertising watchdog Reklamombudsmannen (RO) for encouraging outdated gender roles with catalogues that featured boys dressed as superheroes and girls as princesses.

It is of course "ironic" that a country that eschews the machismo of "gun culture" should be happy to promote images of girls wielding machine guns. However, so long as it is "gender" neutral who cares?!

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