Santa Is Dead!

Kudos to the the authors of a paper in the Lancet Psychiatry for winning my coveted Prats of The Week Award.

Step forward Psychologist Professor Christopher Boyle and social scientist Dr Kathy McKay, who have told parents to stop pretending Father Christmas is real in case the "lie" damages relations with their children.

Seemingly spinning stories about Santa risks undermining a child's trust and is morally suspect. Additionally, the duo go on to condemn the idea of a "terrifying" North Pole intelligence agency which judges children to be nice or naughty.

They are quoted by the Telegraph:

"If they (parents) are capable of lying about something so special and magical, can they be relied upon to continue as the guardians of wisdom and truth?"

Good grief!

Parents have been making up BS stories since the world began (eg religion, the boogeyman, fairy tales, Santa, the Easter Bunny etc), yet mankind has managed to survive.

It occurs to me that the daily dose of reality on TV, that kids are exposed to (eg Eastenders rapes/murders, body parts on the news and the behaviour of politicians etc), is a far greater threat to their sanity!

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Whinging Parents Hate Watership Down

My thanks to a loyal reader, who advised me that Channel 5’s decision to air the classic 1978 cartoon film of Watership Down on Easter Sunday didn't go down too well with parents.

For why?

Well it seems that parents felt that their kids shouldn't be exposed to cartoon images of rabbits being killed on Easter Sunday.

The Metro has some examples of the tweets that anxious parents penned on Easter Sunday.

Yawn.

For the record, I am not the slightest bit religious, but isn't Easter the tale of a guy who got tortured, nailed to a cross and executed?

Isn't that a tad more horrific than cartoon images of dead rabbits?

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Nanny Bans Soap

The Telegraph reports an interesting case that came to court over a man who washed a kid's mouth out with soap (a rather popular Victorian punishment for "potty mouths"), and the mother's reaction not accepting that her son had done wrong.

Here is the article in full:

"A man washed a child's mouth out with soap after the youngster swore at him and tried to kick an old man's walking stick, a court heard. 

Ryan Birtwell, 23, spotted the six-year-old's behaviour in a park near his home and confronted him.

Birtwell had seen the boy kick an elderly man's cane and told him to stop - but the youth told him to "f*** off" and called him a "gay boy", a court heard. 

Birtwell then walked into a nearby shop and bought a three pack of soap and pinned the boy down and stuck a bar in his mouth.

The boy told his family about the incident on April 11 in Washington, Sunderland, and they contacted police.

Birtwell pleaded guilty to assault at Sunderland Magistrates' Court and was given a 12-month conditional discharge and ordered to pay £85 court costs and a £15 victim surcharge. 

Jason Smith, mitigating, said: "Ryan is walking along the road minding his own business. 

"He is a young man who is very affable. He sees the boy run across to an old gentleman with a stick and tries to kick the stick away. 

"He remonstrates with him to which the boy - who the police, I have to say, accept that he is slightly out of control and perhaps not the best of young individuals - says to Ryan to f*** off. 

"Ryan says to him to stop swearing and when he doesn't he says back 'stop swearing or I will wash your mouth with soap,' something that used to happen in the good old days. 

"He fully accepts in hindsight that that was not the best way to react. All Ryan was trying to do was teach the little boy some manners. Unfortunately, manners are in short supply nowadays." 

The court on Wednesday heard that a witness said Birtwell, of Washington, had been called a "gay boy" by the youth. 

The witness heard Birtwell say he was going to buy some soap and "wash his mouth out with it". 

Prosecutor Glenda Beck said: "The injured party was playing in the park which is close to his home address. The defendant approached him and there was an exchange of words. 

"The defendant went to a shop and returned with a bar of soap. He pinned the injured party down to the floor and pushed the bar of soap into his mouth." 

Speaking after the hearing the boy's mother said: "Things are not as bad as have been said. 

"I admit that my son swore and he was wrong for that, but like I said to the police at the time, kids do that kind of thing. 

"At the end of the day, he is a 23-year-old bloke who has assaulted a six-year-old. The sentence is a joke."


Peter Bradley, director of Kidscape, which tackles bullying and safeguarding issues in relation to children, said both Birtwell and the boy could learn a lesson. 

He said: "I think the main message that people should take from this case is that adults are adults and they should act appropriately when dealing with children. 

"If a child is acting in the wrong manner then it has to be dealt with in the appropriate ways. 

"In this instance, without doubt Ryan was wrong, but hopefully some support has been put in place so that this boy can learn from his actions too." 

It seems to me jamming a bar of soap into a kid's mouth is a lot less violent than the scenes we witness everyday on beaches, supermarkets etc; where parents scream foul abuse at their screaming kids, in the deluded expectation that this will somehow calm them down and restore discipline.

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Fines For Tardiness

I see that Nanny has come up with a wizard wheeze for raising money, namely fining parents of kids who are persistently late for school up to £60.

Ker Farking Ching!

Easy money!

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Booze Matters - Teach Your Kids To Drink

A study carried out by an American university has concluded that kids who have tried booze by the age of 11 were five times more likely to have had a full drink within a couple of years, and four times more likely to have binged or been drunk than peers who had not tasted alcohol at an early age.

Thus the researchers have warned about the dangers of American parents adopting the "European model" of introducing kids to alcohol.

All very well and prissy. However, there are two points:

1 European kids have been drinking booze with their parents since time began, yet Europe is not awash with binge drinkers.

2 The American definition of "binge" is in fact half a lager shandy.

Suffice to say, the conclusions of this "research" should be ignored!

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Kids Learn By Example

It is a sad reflection of society, that many are quick to blame children and young people for poor behaviour rather than look to the reason/cause. However, whilst some kids are clearly gits no matter how well brought up they are, some doubtless pick up lousy behaviour from dick headed adults and parents.

My commiserations to the kids, parents and staff of St Andrew's and St Mark's Church of England Junior School ins Surbiton who were trying to enjoy a disco for kids aged 7-11 the other evening.

Sadly the behaviour of one idiotic father ruined it for everyone.

According to the Telegraph the disco had to be cancelled, and the kids escorted from the school, when midway through a father tried to break up a tussle between two children.

It seems he pulled the kids apart, started shouting and swearing then dialled 999 to tell the police one of the kids had assaulted another.

Police duly arrived, and had a word in the "shell like" of the father.

Scarcely any wonder some kids behave like barbarians, given the behaviour of some adults!

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Swedish Nanny

I am reliably informed that it is common practice in Sweden for parents to make their kids wear safety helmets when they uses see-saws!


That won't turn out well!

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Screen Five Year Olds For Coordination Problems

It seems that as a result of certain issues, eg the reduction in time spent playing outside and crap parenting, large numbers of children nowadays apparently have lousy physical coordination (eg they cannot sit still, stand upright or hold a pencil).

Sally Goddard Blythe, director of the Institute for Neuro-Physiological Psychology in Chester, said that all infants should be given physical checks at the age of five, because large numbers of children with basic developmental problems were “slipping through the net”.

Fair enough, maybe.

However, once a problem has been identified what exactly will Nanny do to correct it?

Is this not an issue that the parents should be addressing?

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Knobheadery

As loyal readers know I have written several times about the daft rule introduced last year by Nanny, that forbids parents to take their kids out of school during term time, lest they be punished by a fine and possible criminal record.

As I have noted, when was a wee nipper it was a simple matter of common sense and a discussion between the parents and the school as to whether it would be permitted.

However, under the iron rod of Nanny (can I say "rod" before the watershed?), common sense has long since been abandoned. Sadly there is yet another case of absolute buffoonery caused by Nanny's daft rule, as Maxine Ingrouille-Kidd has found to her and her son's cost.

Ms Ingrouille-Kidd has been threatened with a fine of up to £120 and possible prosecution if she takes her son Curtis (13, who is a blind quadriplegic and has cerebral palsy) out of school during term time.

Doctors have given Curtis a few years to live, and warned he may only survive until his late teens.

Ms Ingrouille-Kidd is quoted by the Telegraph:

“My son is 14 in October and this may well be his last holiday.

I asked for a holiday request form and was absolutely flabbergasted and shocked when the response was ‘no’.”

Unsurprisingly, following media pressure and a campaign on Facebook, Somerset Council has now said it would speak to the school regarding the case.

It is quite ridiculous that this issue has arisen in the first place, common sense dictates that this should be a simple matter of a discussion between the school and the parents.

It is knobheadery in the extreme!

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Nanny Bans Shoes

I was bemused to read about the shoeless policy adopted by Holmbush Primary School in Shoreham.

For reasons that are beyond my understanding the school's learning council has decided that shoeless classrooms improve the learning environment.

Could someone please explain how not wearing shoes in class improves one's ability to learn?

That aside, as with all Nanny type rules something went a little wrong.

For you see dear readers the fire alarm went off the other week, and the pupils and staff had to evacuate themselves (shoeless) into the wet playground.

Parents were less than amused to hear of the wet sock experience, and somewhat overreacted.

All of that aside, are we not missing the essential point here?

How does a shoeless classroom improve the learning experience????

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The Nappy State

I see that the Nanny state has finally achieved what it always wanted, namely being so heavily relied on by her subjects that people want Nanny to wipe their arses.

Such is the sorry state of affairs in our schools, where a survey carried out by the National Foundation for Educational Research found that children are still wearing nappies in class after the age of five in hundreds of schools across the country.

In fact teachers have reported pupils as old as 15, who have no medical conditions or developmental issues, but are unable to use the toilet on their own.

Nine per cent of heads and senior staff who responded said that in the past year a child aged between five and seven had worn a nappy to their school.

The figure was five per cent for classroom teachers.

Four per cent of heads and senior staff said that in the last year a child aged seven to 11 had worn a nappy to school.

Anne-Marie Middleton, a deputy head teacher from Dover, is quoted by the Telegraph:

“We’re seeing more and more children wearing nappies. We find that more and more children have an issue with toilet further up the school. I know of one 11 year old who has to wear pull ups at night. It can really place a strain on teachers. It stops lessons.”

It has nothing to do with poverty, but is down to the fact parents have given up on parenting and have passed the buck to the state. Ms Middleton says that pupils come to school without many basic skills including toileting, or being able to use a knife and fork or hold a paintbrush.

The findings in this survey are not new, a similar one was conducted in 2012:

"A recent survey carried out by Education and Resources for Improving Childhood Continence and The Association of Teachers and Lecturers (ATL), an interesting combination of bodies!, found that there is a worrying increase in the number of children who are still in nappies when they start primary school.

Teachers find their lessons increasingly disrupted by having to "clear up accidents".

For why?

It seems that some parents now believe that it is the state's role (ie schools) to provide toilet training!

Some schools have even been forced to put on parent workshops to help with toilet training."

Even the most primitive and slow witted of life forms on this planet manage to train their offspring wrt toilet matters (eg a cat uses a tray, a dog uses the neighbour's garden, a rat uses the local KFC etc).

How is it that the most "intelligent" life form on the planet now cannot even manage to do that?

Now myth has become truth, Nanny really does wipe your arse!

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Nanny Is Mother Nanny Is Father

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to plans by Scottish Nanny to appoint a "guardian" for every Scottish child, irrespective of whether the child has parents or is deemed to be at risk. Specifically Nanny wants to appoint specific named persons from the NHS and councils to monitor every young person's well-being from birth to 18.

How on earth do you effectively monitor a person for 18 years, surveillance cameras?

The proposals are outlined in the Scottish government's Children and Young People Bill, which will be debated by Holyrood at its final stage on Wednesday.

The Director of the Evangelical Alliance Scotland, Fred Drummond, is less than impressed and is quoted by the BBC:

"While we do not doubt the government's sincere intentions behind this bill, these proposals raise serious concerns about the role of the state in modern Scotland, have massive implications for the role of parents and appear to be begging for a fight in the law courts as some parents may wish to challenge it because it is not immediately apparent whether it is lawful under the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR)."

There is no provision in the Bill for withdrawal of consent by either parent or child.

As I have noted before, it is not the role of the state to act as mother and father to children who have decent parents and a safe domestic background.


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Nanny Bans Mini Cheddars

I am underwhelmed to see that Nanny thinks it more important to police what parents put in their kids' lunch boxes, rather than provide kids with a decent education.

Such is the sorry tale to emerge from Colnbrook C of E Primary School, wherein Riley Pearson (six years old) was suspended for four days after Nanny discovered some Mini Cheddars in his packed lunch.

Riley's parents met with headmaster Jeremy Meek, after they were sent a letter telling them Riley would be excluded from Wednesday until Monday because he had been 'continuously breaking school rules' wrt "healthy eating".

Parents were told in January:

"Chocolate, sweets, crisps and fizzy drinks are not allowed. 

If your child's lunchbox is unhealthy and unbalanced they will be provided with a school lunch for which you will be charged."

Irrespective of whether the school has the right to judge what is "healthy" or not in a child's lunchbox, the letter does not mention anything about suspending pupils who are found with "forbidden" food.

Riley's mother, Natalie Mardle, is quoted by the Mail:

"We just do not see how they have the right to tell us what we can feed our son. 

If anything, Riley is underweight and could do with putting on a few pounds.

Having a balanced diet also includes eating some carbohydrates, sugars and fats.

I would understand the exclusion if he was constantly throwing tables around or bullying other children, but it is just ridiculous for a packet of Mini Cheddars."

Headteacher Mr Meek said:

"We have had a wonderful response and the parents and children are on board and pleased with the way the policy has been impacted on our pupils. 

We cannot talk about individual circumstances, but there is one family who are not prepared to support the policy. We are in discussions with them about how we move it forward. We have excluded [the pupil] for four days due to lack of support for the policy. 

It is to avoid putting the children in a difficult situation. If the policy is not being abided by, then that potentially harms that pupil."

I don't see how suspending the pupil (if he has not been disruptive) is at all helpful.

The disruption caused by pupils who are high on fizzy drinks and endless bags of crisps etc is as a result of them eating shit all day long, where a pupil has a balanced diet that includes a modest "indulgence" that pupil will not be disruptive because of that single "indulgence".

FYI, Riley has now been expelled and his younger brother suspended from the pre-school. Seemingly there have been "persistent and deliberate breach of school policy, such as bringing in crisps, biscuits, sausage rolls, mini sausages, scotch eggs and similar."

It is clear that the relationship between the parents and the school has completely broken down. The school also said the decision was taken because of (as per the Mail) "the parent school relationship suffering an irretrievable breakdown" due to "misrepresentations in the local and national media that were both wholly inaccurate and grossly misleading, abusive language being used towards staff, and other inappropriate actions being taken that were designed to damage the school’s reputation".

Thus we see that both Riley and his brother's education are now suffering.

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Nanny Is Mother, Nanny Is father

I am underwhelmed to see that the Tories are becoming more Nannyish in their views and policies, as evidenced by Michael Gove's recent announcement that he wants to extend the State school day to between 6pm and 7pm.

He claims that he wishes State schools to emulate private schools (which have post school day activities). This might be all very well and dandy if that meant such activities as model railway clubs, chess clubs and CCF etc.

However, pound to a penny, the reality will be that the extra hours will simply be used by Nanny and parents as a means of surrogate "daycare" or dumping ground for kids who actually don't want to be there after hours; ie Nanny will take on the role of the parents.

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Nanny Hates Fags

The House of Lords has voted in favour of banning people from smoking in cars that contain children. The legislative amendments will be debated by the House of Commons next month, when MPs will be given a free vote on the matter.

Whilst this may be all very well and dandy for those who believe that single inhalation of someone else's smoke poses a threat to life and limb, it may not be such a good thing at all for everyone else.

In the event the legislation is passed, it grants the state the right to dictate what happens in a person's private space (a car's interior being such a space). Once the state has assumed that right, it will take the next logical step and seek to ban smoking in homes which have children.

It is not the state's role to act as parent to people's children.

I would also note that the fumes and gunk exuded by cars, lorries, buses and planes do far more damage to our lungs and health than the puffs of smoke from a third party's cigarette.

Meanwhile in other news I see that Sellafield (Windscale to those of us who are greying around the temples) is experiencing some "issues" today; don't worry though, they say it's perfectly safe!

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CASHing In On Publicity

I see our old "chums" from Consensus Action on Salt and Health (Cash) are up in arms again about the "dangers" of salt.

I do wonder, given how many very real threats there are in the world that we should really be worried about, how it is a group of people have ganged up together to fret about salt; they must have very empty lives?

Anyhoo, it seems the latest "threat" from salt comes in the shape of biscuits such as "Butterkist". CASH are howling with anxiety that parents should not feed their kids too many biscuits, because they contain salt.

Amusingly some major brands seemingly contain more salt than chicken nuggets.

As per the Telegraph Asda’s fun size mini milk chocolate digestives were the worst offender, with 0.4g of salt per 25g bag. Sainsbury’s giant white chocolate and raspberry cookies packed 0.39g per 60g biscuit. McVitie’s mini gingerbread men had 0.3g of salt for every 25g pack while its dark chocolate hobnobs delivered 0.2g per 19g biscuit.

For comparison, a Birds Eye fish finger contains 0.2g of salt per 28g finger. A Sainsbury’s chicken nugget has 0.24g of salt per nugget. The adult recommended daily allowance is 6g, but for under-threes it is just 2g.

Graham MacGregor, professor of cardiovascular medicine at Queen Mary, University of London who by happenstance runs CASH said:

“With salt hidden in sweet foods as well, how can parents be expected to prevent their children from eating too much, putting them at risk of high blood pressure as adults?” 

FFS!

Parents, if they have any commonsense, won't be feeding their kids these things night and day. In the event they are, it won't be the salt that kills them it will be their obesity.

On that note, if CASH is so worried about the salt, why don't the manufacturers simply add some more sugar to counterbalance the salt?

At this point I ask myself if only human beings were able to excrete excess salt in some way, like animals do; eg via sweat or their kidneys?

Oh, hang on a minute.....

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Nanny's Disconnect From The Food Chain

I am saddened but not particularly surprised to see that growing up in the Nanny state, where parents abrogate their responsibility for bringing up their children to the state, has produced a generation of children who have no idea where food comes from.

A survey conducted by the British Nutrition Foundation (BNF) of 27,500 five to sixteen year olds highlighted that approximately 33% of UK primary pupils think cheese is made from plants, and 25% think fish fingers come from chicken or pigs (given the ongoing scandal over processed foods, that may in fact be nearer to the mark!).

To add to the confusion, a large number of kids also seem to be under the delusion that pasta and bread are meat based products.

A further 10% think that spuds grow on bushes or trees.

Roy Ballam, education programme manager at BNF, is quoted by the BBC talking about BNF's Healthy Eating Week which aims "to start the process of re-engaging children with the origins of food, nutrition and cooking, so that they grow up with a fuller understanding of how food reaches them and what a healthy diet and lifestyle consists of."

A spokesman for England's Department for Education said:

"We want to encourage children to develop a love of food, cooking and healthy eating that will stay with them as they grow up."

That's all very nice and dandy, but I learned about food and cooking from my parents and grandfather; not the state. Indeed on a Saturday morning my dad used to regularly take me to the local butcher's shop to see the carcasses hanging in the cold room and to watch the sausage machine at work.

These findings show that parents are failing in their primary responsibility in bringing up their children to have a basic understanding of how the world functions and how to feed themselves. It is not the role of the state to teach children how to feed themselves, just as it isn't the role of the state to teach children how to tie their own shoe laces or wipe their butts.

Cooking classes etc are fine and useful for developing an understanding of food groups, nutrition and hygiene etc. However, the basic understanding of where food comes from should start in the home; otherwise parents will have no role whatsoever in the upbringing of their own children!

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Nappy Matters

I see that some brand of nappies currently being advertised on TV now claims to have a "wet/dry" indicator.

It's purpose?

To "teach" the child the difference between wet and dry!

FFS!

If the child is so dimwitted as to not to be able to tell the difference in physical sensation between wet and dry, how the fark will he/she be able to grasp the meaning of a "wet/dry" indicator?

It is no wonder that we are breeding a nation of slack jawed dimwits.

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Nanny's 57,000 Felons

Despite Coalition promises to do away with (or at least tone down) the requirements that all and sundry be vetted lest they wish to interact with children, it transpires that the promise was nothing more than hot air.

The Telegraph reports that over 57,000 volunteers (of which 11,000 were mothers, fathers and grandparents) have been subjected to Nanny's vetting procedure this academic year thus far.

It seems that instead of a reduction in the number of "vettings", the total number this academic year will exceed last year's!

The Manifesto Club has issued a report that highlights the fact that many parents are being treated like “felons on remand” after volunteering to help read with young children, supervise school trips, take part in language exchanges, lead a “walking bus” and help out at discos.

Some are even being forced to register with the Criminal Records Bureau to escort their children into the school building or watch sons and daughters playing sport.

Unsurprisingly the vetting process is putting many people off volunteering, as they are made to feel like “second-class citizens” by hostile fearful schools that now resemble prisons (shrouded in barbed wire, with electronic entry systems etc) rather than places of learning and enlightenment.

Nanny's Department for Education spokeswoman said:

“We expect headteachers to take a common-sense approach to criminal record checks and adhere to the changes this government brought in to ensure the vetting system was scaled back to sensible levels.” 

Well Nanny might "expect common-sense", but that clearly is not an expectation that is being fulfilled.

The result of living in a Nanny state has turned many people into box ticking automatons, devoid of common-sense and responsibility. Thus Nanny's schools are giving kids a very ugly lesson indeed; fear all adults, abrogate your responsibilities by ticking boxes and let the state do your thinking for you.

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Nanny Bans Wanking Again

On Monday I wrote the following:

"In November I wrote about Nanny Cameron's plans for ISP's to block on porn sites:

"Nanny wants all new computers purchased and ISP services signed up for to ask their proud new owners at their first login whether they have children.
In the event the answer is "yes", the parent will be taken through the process of installing anti-pornography filters, as well as a series of questions on how stringent they wish the restrictions to be.
ISP's will also be told by Nanny to prompt existing customers to install the technology to block pornography."

I noted that the plan was of course bollocks and wouldn't work:

"It is quite clear that Nanny doesn't understand how the net works, nor indeed how cunning and bright the average teenager can be when looking to circumvent rules and regulations."

Less than one month on, and I am gemused to see that Nanny Cameron has vetoed the idea.

For why?

1 Parents who were "consulted" on the matter said that they didn't want it and, quite correctly, asserted that it was up to them NOT THE STATE to govern their children.

2 Nanny realised that the plan was bollocks and wouldn't work, it would in fact end up censoring/blocking sites that are designed to help children wrt sex etc.

3 The "danger" of the interent to children lies not so much with bums and boobies, but with those individuals (adults and children) who use it to bully/abuse others (hence parents would be wise to remind their kids not to talk to strangers.....as I was always told in an era gazillions of years before the internet).

So there we are folks, Nanny Cameron was told that the plan was bollocks and we can, for the moment, continue to wank ourselves unconscious in the privacy of our own home when using the net."

However, those of you who rushed out to buy a lorry load of Kleenex may well be disappointed. As I went on to warn:

"..make the most of it whilst you can, as ever with Nanny and her acolytes she doesn't like it when her plans are thwarted. The NSPCC is already trying to rubbish the consultation, by claiming that parents' voices were not properly heard (I assume they mean the voices of those parents who agree with Nanny's plans).

This isn't over!"

Well blinkey, blonkey, blimey less than five days on an Nanny Cameron has changed his mind and decided to ban it after all!

I knew he would cave in to pressure from various self appointed Nannytype bodies and change his mind, but I never thought he would so so in less than five days!

Utterly pathetic!

What was the point of consulting people if their views are to be ignored?

Anyone want to buy a tonne of Kleenex?

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