Happy New Year

Lest there be any doubt, we had it large this Christmas at Frost Towers (ensuring that Nanny's warnings about exploding gravy, booze, salt, Christmas baubles etc were wholeheartedly ignored).

In the spirit of the season would like to wish you all a very happy, peaceful and prosperous (will Gordon "Smiler" Brown allow me to use that word?) 2009.

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - The Dangers of Red Ink

Tis the year end, and time for my very last "Prats of The Week" Award for 2008.

This week's award goes to the prats in Nanny's educashunal department, who have banned teachers in schools across the country from marking pupils' work with red pens.

For why?

Red, in Nanny's view, upsets and demoralises the kids as it is "confrontational" and "threatening".

Crofton Junior School, in Orpington, has banned red ink. Its Marking Code of Practice states:

"Work is generally marked in pen – not red – but on occasion it may be appropriate to indicate errors in pencil so that they may be corrected."

Headmaster Richard Sammonds said:

"Red pen can be quite demotivating for children. It has negative, old-school connotations of See me and Not good enough".

Good grief!

How are children meant to achieve their best, if they are not stretched and challenged?

What use will these children be as adults, if they have never faced failure and constructive criticism?

We are breeding a nation of passive intellectual immature dullards.

Nanny's educashunal department, well deserving "Prats of The Week"!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dangers of Gravy

It looks like I had my pre Christmas piss up just in time last week, as Nanny has just issued a warning leaflet explaining all manners of dangers presented by the forthcoming binge/bloat fest officially known as Christmas.

Gosh had I read the leaflet, I would never have ventured out last Friday!

FNAAAR!

Anyhoo, Nanny safety leaflet (issued in the form of an Advent style calendar) warns about the dangers of gravy "exploding" in microwaves, pissed people falling over (gosh!) and Christmas tree baubles.

Nanny's knobheads from Ed Balls' Department for Children, Schools and Families have issued 150,000 of the leaflets called "Tis The Season To Be Careful". I have no idea why they think this will help people enjoy Christmas.

Why oh why do we allow these people to remain in government?

Anyhoo, my advice to you all is to ignore Nanny and have it large this Christmas!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

A Christmas Tale

Tis the season to be jolly etc, and ignore all of Nanny's advice.

In the spirit of the season, a member of the Nanny Knows Best team (ie me) took his dear old (86 years to be precise) uncle out for lunch last Friday.

I highly commend Maggie Jones's, a favourite spot of mine.

Rest assured a good time was had by all, and copious quantities of food and booze were consumed!

Despite consuming and elegant sufficiency I still managed to transport myself back home to Brighton later in the evening, without any of the following:

- falling over
- the use of the emergency services to sober me up, detox me, or arrest me
- vomiting in any public/private place
- being lewd, crude, obnoxious etc
- putting my feet up on the seat of the train
- robbing or assaulting anyone

Now if I can manage to behave in a vaguely civilised manner, despite having consumed a vast quantity of food and drink, how come our youngsters (and those who should know better) who have been Nannyfied since birth cannot?

Season's greetings folks.

Have it large this year!

Ken

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Jokes

Can anyone explain this Nanny ban to me, I am at a total loss to understand it; as indeed is Bob Singh, on whom the ban has been placed.

What has Nanny banned?

Mr Singh has, for the last 10 years, been adding jokes to his promotional leaflets at his Landmark store in Port Talbot, south Wales.

Now Nanny's police officers have stomped in and warned that he could face prosecution for breaching public order if he does not stop.

South Wales Police sergeant Simon Merrick said:

"The content of promotional material which has been distributed in the area has been brought to our attention as being potentially inflammatory and offensive.

The distributor has been appropriately advised and instructed to withdraw the leaflets from circulation."

Here are some of Mr Singh's jokes:

:: What is the technical name for three days of horrendous weather followed by bright sunshine? A Welsh Bank Holiday!

:: What do you call a sheep with no legs? A Cloud!

:: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? El-if-i-no!

:: What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have No-I-Dear.

Please, can anyone tell me why Nanny dislikes these jokes (aside from the fact they are very bad!)?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Carols

Poor old Carol, what did she do to annoy Nanny?

Banned left right and centre!

Yes folks, the old jokes are always the best!

Anyhoo, children in the choir from Arthur Bugler County Junior School in Stanford-le-Hope Essex were a tad disappointed recently. They had practiced hard to perform some carols at the Corringham Winter Festival. However, there was one small fly in their oinkment.

Can you guess what that was?

Yes, that's right, they were to perform carols.

What is wrong with carols?, I hear you ejaculate (can I say ejaculate so close to Christmas?).

Carols my dear readers are religious; the organisers of the festival didn't want anything religious, lest it spoilt the flavour of the festival.

How very petty of the organisers!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries