Nanny Bans Leaflets

In July I warned that Nanny was bringing her guns to bear on "leafleteers":

"Nanny's local councils have come up with another wheeze to keep themselves in the luxury to which they have become accustomed. This time they have hit upon the idea of using legislation (the Clean Neighbourhoods and Environment Act 2005) to force people who hand out leaflets in the street to buy licences.

Clever eh?

Now, I know that corporations who hire people to hand out gazillions of leaflets advertising their unwanted products can be deemed to be a nuisance (given that most of these leaflets are thrown into the bin). However, the legislation will also apply to anyone who hands out leaflets, even those who are looking for their lost cat.

Let us not forget that the origins of the "free" press (a scourge of governments throughout the ages) were the Pamphleteers.

Today the modern "Pamphleteers" are the small-scale organisations eg; Women's Institutes, comedy clubs, student societies and political campaigners. These organisations (eg if operating in Basildon) are forced to pay £350 to hand out leaflets on a Saturday, those who operate in Wolverhampton are being charged £262 per distributor.

Approximately 45 local authorities in England now insist that people have to buy a licence to hand out leaflets.

The councils claim that this is a litter related issue.

Errmmm..if people throw the leaflets on the street then surely it is for them to be fined, not the pamphleteer?

The reality in fact is that it is a great way to make money, and to restrict the freedom of speech of their hard pressed citizens.

Ker Farking Ching!

Councils are the enemies of the people."

Following on from that, The Manifesto Club have stated that in certain towns (including that bastion of liberty and wonderfully louche behaviour, Brighton - my home town:)) have banned unlicensed leaflets altogether:

"It has become almost impossible to hand out leaflets in many town and city centres. Local councils including Brighton, Leicester and Leeds have introduced leafleting zones, within which you have to pay a fee (and often wear a badge) if you want to flyer. 

These rules have been catastrophic for grassroots organisations, including village halls, comedy clubs and nightclubs, who rely on leafleting to inform local people about their events."

As I have stated many times (repeating the same message with the depressing inevitability of an unloved season) councils are the enemies of the people!



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Licensed To Ker Farking Ching

Nanny never misses a trick to fill her coffers by screwing her long suffering and hard working citizens out of ever more of their hard earned income.

Who could blame her?

The country is £4.8 Trillion in debt, and there is no way she intends to starve!

Anyhoo, Nanny's local councils have come up with another wheeze to keep themselves in the luxury to which they have become accustomed. This time they have hit upon the idea of using legislation (the Clean Neighbourhoods and Environment Act 2005) to force people who hand out leaflets in the street to buy licences.

Clever eh?

Now, I know that corporations who hire people to hand out gazillions of leaflets advertising their unwanted products can be deemed to be a nuisance (given that most of these leaflets are thrown into the bin). However, the legislation will also apply to anyone who hands out leaflets, even those who are looking for their lost cat.

Let us not forget that the origins of the "free" press (a scourge of governments throughout the ages) were the Pamphleteers.

Today the modern "Pamphleteers" are the small-scale organisations eg; Women's Institutes, comedy clubs, student societies and political campaigners. These organisations (eg if operating in Basildon) are forced to pay £350 to hand out leaflets on a Saturday, those who operate in Wolverhampton are being charged £262 per distributor.

Approximately 45 local authorities in England now insist that people have to buy a licence to hand out leaflets.

The councils claim that this is a litter related issue.

Errmmm..if people throw the leaflets on the street then surely it is for them to be fined, not the pamphleteer?

The reality in fact is that it is a great way to make money, and to restrict the freedom of speech of their hard pressed citizens.

Ker Farking Ching!

Councils are the enemies of the people.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Spies Are Us - Nanny's Community Health Services II

This just in from Nanny:

"Dear Mr Frost,

Thank you for your email which you posted on NHS Lincolnshire website.

The purpose of asking questions relating to children's health is so that Lincolnshire Community Health Services can respond to any identified needs raised by a parent or young person themselves.

The questionnaire forms part of a health needs assessment which will direct the School Nursing service to deliver support exactly where it is needed.

By completing the questionnaire, the School Nursing team can assess those families that want support on a 1-1 basis from a School Nurse, those that may require further information via the telephone or leaflets, and a percentage that won’t require any help at all.

The families that are currently completing the questionnaire are being offered help and support if needed which is absolutely crucial to vulnerable groups that are struggling to manage health issues. This group in particular face challenges each day trying to manage health problems and are receptive to help and assistance to care for their child and children that the School Nursing teams can offer. Completion of the questionnaire is entirely optional. All the information is held in health and not shared with other agencies.

I hope this answers your query, if you require further information please do not hesitate to get back in touch with us.

Clinical Team Leader (Universal Provision) Family & Healthy Lifestyle Services

Lincolnshire Community Health Services LCHS, East Lindsey Locality Office, C/O Louth County Hospital
High Holme Road, Louth, Lincs LN11 0EU."

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Swine Flu - The Leaflet Arrives

Yesterday the Frost residence, along with households across the country, received Nanny's Swine Flu leaflet.

Cue a roll on the drums!



Dear oh dear what a waste of time, effort and our money!

I have scan read it, and am far from impressed. Here are a few thoughts as to why it is bollocks:

1 It has clearly been written by a committee of "fearful" risk averse people, determined not to let any potential issue go unmentioned.

2 At ten pages it is too long, and won't be read by those who may well actually need to be told to wash their hands and catch their sneezes in their handkerchiefs.

3 The salient points, about symptoms and washing hands etc, don't appear until page six and onwards. Most people will have given up by page two. The salient points must appear on page one!

4 It directs the reader to a number of websites depending on geographical location (England, wales and Northern Ireland each have two). Not only is this confusing, it is quite unnecessary and a duplication of resources. Why not have a one simple one page website that lists symptoms, preventions and what to do?

5 Page four is a self congratulatory advert for Nanny, telling us that she has enough stocks of Tamiflu and Relenza for 50% of the UK. All very well, but the reality is that 50% is the combined holding of Tamiflu and Relenza; Tamiflu will be the first line of defence, if that doesn't work then Relenza is used.

6 Page two says that no one has immunity.

Complete bollocks!

Genetically speaking there will always be individuals who are resistant to new diseases, whatever they may be. Scaremongering of the worst sort!

7 Page ten offers the leaflet in Welsh. Given that this is a supposed "public health emergency", wasting time and money on producing leaflets, as a pc sop, for people who speak English perfectly well is absolutely scandalous.

In a real crisis all such pc pretensions would be thrown out of the window, and those who came up with such nonsense taken out and shot.

8 In the event that Swine Flu is here to stay, then the likely peak will be in winter. Nanny, by going into overdrive now, has lessened the effectiveness of any campaign that she may have to mount in winter if, and it is a big IF, Swine Flu takes a foothold in winter.

9 This is simply a self serving exercise by Nanny to show that she is busy, and to take our minds off other issues.

A pox upon the leaflet, and upon Nanny!

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Scaring Children - Nanny's Special Advisors

Nanny knows what every dictator and incense burning religion has known for centuries:

"Give me a young child, and I will make him/her mine for life."

Thus she has decided to tackle one of her most hated scourges, smoking, by sending anti-smoking advisors into nurseries.

Nanny's special little "team" from Colchester and Tendring NHS Stop Smoking Service will be lecturing children, as young as three, as to the dangers of smoking. They will show them dolls that demonstrate how the lungs of smokers and non-smokers differ, they will also give them NHS leaflets and questionnaires to take home for their parents.

In other words Nanny intends to scare the hell out of the kids, and make them afraid not only for their own health but the health of their parents. Thus Nanny will turn them into agents of the state within the home.

Now children, tell me, which European regime tried this little trick (to great success) some 70 years ago?

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The Dangers of Gravy

It looks like I had my pre Christmas piss up just in time last week, as Nanny has just issued a warning leaflet explaining all manners of dangers presented by the forthcoming binge/bloat fest officially known as Christmas.

Gosh had I read the leaflet, I would never have ventured out last Friday!

FNAAAR!

Anyhoo, Nanny safety leaflet (issued in the form of an Advent style calendar) warns about the dangers of gravy "exploding" in microwaves, pissed people falling over (gosh!) and Christmas tree baubles.

Nanny's knobheads from Ed Balls' Department for Children, Schools and Families have issued 150,000 of the leaflets called "Tis The Season To Be Careful". I have no idea why they think this will help people enjoy Christmas.

Why oh why do we allow these people to remain in government?

Anyhoo, my advice to you all is to ignore Nanny and have it large this Christmas!

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Nanny Bans Jokes

Can anyone explain this Nanny ban to me, I am at a total loss to understand it; as indeed is Bob Singh, on whom the ban has been placed.

What has Nanny banned?

Mr Singh has, for the last 10 years, been adding jokes to his promotional leaflets at his Landmark store in Port Talbot, south Wales.

Now Nanny's police officers have stomped in and warned that he could face prosecution for breaching public order if he does not stop.

South Wales Police sergeant Simon Merrick said:

"The content of promotional material which has been distributed in the area has been brought to our attention as being potentially inflammatory and offensive.

The distributor has been appropriately advised and instructed to withdraw the leaflets from circulation."

Here are some of Mr Singh's jokes:

:: What is the technical name for three days of horrendous weather followed by bright sunshine? A Welsh Bank Holiday!

:: What do you call a sheep with no legs? A Cloud!

:: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? El-if-i-no!

:: What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have No-I-Dear.

Please, can anyone tell me why Nanny dislikes these jokes (aside from the fact they are very bad!)?

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Nanny's Park Rangers

Nanny's child centric policy has taken another step forward.

She has decreed that all unaccompanied adults walking in Telford Town Park are potential paedophiles. As such, park wardens have been ordered to stop and interrogate anyone who is not accompanied by children.

For fark's sake!

Evidently visitors who are quizzed have to explain their presence and risk being thrown out, or reported to police if their answers are not satisfactory.

"I want to go for a walk"

How the hell can they judge as to whether that answer is "satisfactory" or not???

Nanny's local council (Telford and Wrekin Council) claims that this is a "commonsense approach", aimed at safeguarding children.

It is nothing of the kind, and clearly oversteps the boundaries as to what a council is meant to do.

I guarantee that the local residents have issues wrt refuse collection, and basic amenities being poorly maintained; yet the council meanders off into areas of policy that are outwith its remit.

The local "parkies" have taken to their new Gestapo role with great relish. Evidently two environmental campaigners, dressed as penguins (don't ask!), were thrown out of the park last month when caught handing out leaflets on climate change.

Telford and Wrekin Council said Rachel Whittaker and Neil Donaldson were ejected because they had not undergone Criminal Records Bureau checks or risk assessments before entering the park.

Seemingly this is a requirement under the Child Protection Act.

Errmm...am I drunk?

Have I just read that correctly?

Are they saying that in order to enter a park we now need a risk assessment and criminal records check?

By the way, in case you think that this is another example of Nu labour madness...it is not.

Telford and Wrekin Council is run by the Tories!

David Ottley, recreation manager, said:

"Our town park staff approach adults that are not associated with any children in the park and request the reason for them being there.

In particular, this applies to those areas where children or more vulnerable groups gather."

By this "logic" all adults accompanied by a child are not paedophiles and are perfectly harmless.

Vent your spleen to the council via this link contact@telford.gov.uk

Tell Cameron what you think of the idiots in his local council via this link: Prats!

Don't vote Tory unless they put forward detailed plans for ridding us of the Nanny state.

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The Return of The Bottom Inspectors - Clench Your Buttocks!

Oh dear, it looks as though Nanny's feared and hated Bottom Inspectors have returned.

Nanny is now so fearful about our level of fatness, funny how it is that so many MPs are real porkers isn't it?, that she is mounting (can I say mounting so early in the morning?) a campaign to have us exercise at bus stops.

Nanny believes that the time spent at bus stops could be better spent by standing on one leg, pointing our toes and clenching our buttocks.

I have to say it has been a fair while since I had a good old "clench"!

Nanny is handing out leaflets and posters setting out six Pilates-style exercise moves to do at the bus stops, for bus routes between Blackburn and Manchester.

The "Every Stop Helps" leaflet tells passengers:

"Healthy living is all about having a good diet and getting the right amount of physical exercise.

Make exercising on the X41 part of your everyday bus travel. The exercises are easy, fun to do and discreet!"

Come on everyone, let's show Nanny what we think of her by engaging in a mass buttock clench!

The good news is that we are funding this scheme via Nanny's Higher Education Funding Council for England.

Errmmm...given that this is a health issue, shouldn't the money come out of the NHS?

Let's cut the crap shall we?

If Nanny wants to get us all slim again (quickly and cheaply) all she has to do is get us hooked on cocaine, an appetite suppressant favoured by the glitterati. It's cheap, readily available and provides thousands of people who deal it with a living.

Nanny should legalise it and tax it.

Problem sorted!

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The Dangers of Chip Pans

I am sure that readers of a certain age (I include myself in that category) well remember either the live demonstrations or information films made by the firebrigade about the dangers of chip pan fires, and how to put them out safely.

Given that Britain is still a nation of chip eaters, we built our empire on chips, you would have thought that such a safety campaign would be as relevant today as it was some 30 years or so ago.

True enough, except for one small problem; Nanny believes that the demonstration itself is in fact dangerous.

Devon and Somerset Fire and Rescue Service recently banned firemen from demonstrating how to put out chip pan fires to school children, due to our old "friend" health and safety.

I would have thought that a chip pan fire was in fact a major health and safety hazard, but what the fark do I know?

For decades fire crews have visited schools to deliver safety talks, and give practical demonstrations of the best way to extinguish fires.

However, Devon and Somerset Fire and Rescue Service has now withdrawn the chip ban demonstration for schoolchildren in case it encourages children to tackle one at home.

Errmmm...isn't that the idea?

Surely the kids should be taught how to protect themselves?

Isn't that kind of a useful tool for life?

Seemingly not, instead the pupils will be handed leaflets and given instructions telling them what they should do in the event of a hot oil blaze occurring at home.

Firemen and parents needless to say think that the idea is bonkers, and say children need to be shown how to deal with an emergency.

During a traditional chip ban fire demonstration, a mock kitchen is used to show how fiercely the fires develop and "flashover" — where all combustible material in a space suddenly ignites — occurs.

Unless the kids are shown what can happen, and what to do (use a damp cloth, do not use water), they will instinctively pour water on it and cause an explosion.

I repeat, how on earth is denying the kids this very useful lesson protecting them?





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Nanny's Naughty Nurses

Nanny thinks that we are all very naughty when it comes to looking after our health, and in her view if we cannot be trusted to look after ourselves then she is jolly well going to enforce her views upon us.

Nanny has a particular abhorrence of smoking, just like Hitler did, and as such has decided to enforce a strict no smoking policy in and around her hospitals.

In order for this policy to work she has set up a Naughty Nurse Patrol (that phrase will get me some interesting hits from search engines) in the Aintree Hospitals NHS Trust in Liverpool, whoch will target people who in her view are being naughty.

Nurses in the trust have been asked to take part in anti-smoking patrols around two hospital sites, and offer smoking cessation advice to staff and visitors.

In other words they will be telling people to stop smoking, even though it is not their business to do so.

Nurses have been told to go on hour-long patrols, as part of Nanny's non-smoking policy, which cover the entire hospital site.

Naughty Nurse Patrols are carried out three times a day, with staff doing rounds in pairs, handing out smoking leaflets and advice.

Not surprisingly, given the somewhat overstretched nature of the NHS, many staff are unhappy about being asked to carry out these patrols; as they do not regard it as part of their job, and because it will take them away from patient care on the wards.

Another small point is that it is not up to Nanny to tell us what to do, but then again that has never stopped her in the past.

Nanny just loves to waste everyones time.

Where's The Real Danger?

Nanny’s friends in Bodmin are trying to ban the three hundred year old tradition of Punch and Judy.

It seems that Bodmin's Women's Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre has bombarded Reg Payn, the town's officially licensed puppeteer, with leaflets on domestic violence. They have also harassed the audience during Reg’s shows.

It seems that nanny feels that the audiences these days are not able to recognise the difference between a wooden puppet and reality. Clearly audiences of three hundred years ago, were far more intelligent.

Newcastle City Council tried this trick last year, and banned Mr Punch. However, they had to rescind their ban, when it emerged that official recommending the ban had never seen a Punch and Judy show.

I would venture to suggest that Bodmin Council might first like to attend to the nation’s soap opera addiction. These pose the real danger to society.

These dumbed down, mass population sedatives pump out a daily diet of domestic violence and abuse. They are far more “realistic” than any wooden puppet; regrettably many people seem to be unable to distinguish between reality, and the characters and storylines in these dreadful shows.

Yet we don’t see nanny trying to shut them down.

Maybe it is because they keep the population docile, and stop people from thinking?