Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.
Showing posts with label Tesco. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tesco. Show all posts

Thursday, October 13, 2016

#MarmiteGate - Nanny Dancing In The Streets


As a result of some macho posturing between Unilever and Tesco, over who should bear the costs for the fall in Sterling, Marmite might be running low on the shelves of Tesco.

That will absolutely delight Nanny, who has for years been trying to ban it (it is already banned in Denmark) because of its alleged high salt content (note salt is not bad for you, if you are healthy and drink and exercise in a normal manner).

Oh one small factoid for Unilever, Marmite is made in the UK. As such the fall in Sterling is but a smokescreen, which you are using to try to increase your wholesale prices!

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Thursday, July 07, 2016

Nanny Bans Booze Purchase - "Dissatisfactory" Tesco!


Nanny has again managed to muddle herself up over her age limits on booze buying.

Nanny's chums from Tesco in Saxmunham decided to ban Angela Saunders (48) from buying some lager.

For why?

Ms Saunders was with her 15 year old daughter.

Ms Saunders is quoted by the Telegraph:
"I'm still in shock. It's completely bonkers. I'm a very loyal customer, but after this I'll never go back.

I felt so humiliated and embarrassed it made me look like I was trying to buy alcohol for my daughter."
Tesco has since apologised and admitted the employee acted incorrectly.

A spokeswoman said:
"We take our 'Think 25' alcohol policy very seriously. However, in this instance the colleague was incorrect in their judgement.

We are sincerely sorry for the dissatisfactory experience Ms Saunders had in store and for any offence caused."
In other words, now that it has become public we admit our mistake!

Oh, and by the way, "dissatisfactory"???

Double plus ungood Tesco!

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Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Duty To Assist?

The Telegraph reports that four police officers who were flagged down by a store manager in December 2014, as his colleague detained a thief just feet away allegedly said they were "not kitted up" to help and drove away.

Merseyside Police PCs Jonathan Webb, Mark Higgins, Joanne Parr and Paul Birch had been travelling in a police car in Liverpool when they were flagged down by Tesco deputy store manger David Markey.

He asked them for help as a security officer Shaun Rigby apprehended the thief - named Fagan - in the road after fleeing the shop. Mr Rigby was assaulted by Fagan "kicking or kneeing" him in the head.

The officers are subject to a misconduct hearing after allegedly declining to help. They all deny that they breached standards of professional behaviour.

The hearing will last around four days.

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Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Tesco Celebrates Youth Day


How "ironic" Tesco, the supermarket chain that doesn't want children risking their health with Ribena, is happy to have them eat sugar laden Jelly Babies!

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Friday, July 31, 2015

The Joy of Coke



This is the sugar laden drink that Tesco won't be banning!

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Thursday, July 30, 2015

Tesco Bans Ribena - Tesco Responds


Following my article yesterday about Tesco banning Ribena, Tesco have sent me a number of responses via Twitter:

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Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Tesco Bans Ribena

It seems that Tesco is so concerned about children's obesity, that it is taking steps to ban certain sugary drinks (eg Ribena and Carpi-sun...is that's some form of motor car from the 70's?) from its stores.

The sugary drinks aimed at children will be replaced by no-added-sugar alternatives.

Ironically the "non sugar" alternatives include crisps, which are in fact loaded with sugar.

There's irony for you!

As to whether this stems childhood obesity, I doubt it will have any effect whatsoever. Ribena et al can be bought elsewhere. Additionally, Ribena is not the prime cause of obesity.

Will Tesco be banning Coke?

No I thought not!

I drank Ribena as a kid (either with water or milk). I am not obese, I have all my own teeth and I am not diabetic. That being said, I didn't drink it everyday morning noon and night!

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Monday, March 02, 2015

Prats of The Week - Tesco

My thanks to a loyal reader for nominating Tesco as Prats of The Week.

For why?

Just ask Tony Morris, who went to his local store in Carlton to but some nuts and bananas.

When he attempted to pay for them at the self service checkout he was asked to verify his age. The stupidity was further compounded, when a member of staff and a security guard came across and told him that it was in case he was going to ferment alcohol.

A Tesco spokeswoman is quoted by the Mirror denying that this is Tesco policy:
We don’t age restrict the sale of nuts - our store team have rechecked all the nuts in the store to ensure this is the case.

Giving customers great service is our number one priority and we’re sorry if the incident caused our customer any inconvenience.
However, her words ring hollow as this is not the first time that Tesco has asked for age verification wrt fruit. Kate Lancaster, at a Tesco Metro Plymouth, was asked to prove she was over 18 when buying a snack pack of water melon and grapes.

Why?
"Fruit will be age verified in case natural fermentation takes place”.
Tesco, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Nanny Bans Common Sense


In  Nanny's universe common sense has long since been abolished.

Step forward Tesco, a company that is currently imploding under the stress of its own idiocy, wherein its staff shouted at a customer to remove her guide dog from its Swiss Cottage branch.

Maya Makri was recently in the Swiss Cottage shop, with her clearly marked guide dog, when she was told by staff to "never come back".

The BBC reports that she said three cashiers shouted "no pets allowed" and to leave the shop.

Tesco said:
"This clearly should never have happened and we will contact Ms Makri directly to apologise."
Why are people, especially when performing their functions in a company/organisation, so devoid of common sense?

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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Dangers of Puddings



'Tis the season to be jolly etc..unless that is you are Nanny!

As we prepare for our Christmas feasts, let us not forget that it is not just a time for stuffing a nice bird and for sinking our teeth into that same hot bird with plump breasts and tender thighs; but also a time for luxuriating in something hot and steamy.

I refer of course to puddings!

Unfortunately those of you shop at one of the Tesco stores in Southampton may have a wee spot of bother buying your puddings, for it seems that at Tesco they regard hot puddings as a health and safety issue and require you to carry proof of your age when trying to buy one.

I jest ye not!

Just ask Robert Nemeti (24) who recently tried to buy a chocolate pudding from Tesco Southampton; only to be barred from doing so by the self check out machine, until he produced proof of his age to a member of staff.

For why?

Tesco deemed the pudding to pose a risk to the roof of his mouth!

A member of staff at the store in Southampton demanded Mr Nemeti produce identification showing he was over 18, but that because he looked old enough anyway she waived him through when he said he had no proof.

Tesco said:
The self service machines can be temperamental. The pudding should not be an age-restricted product. It’s a mystery why the machine prompted staff to ask for ID.’ 
Bollocks!

The machine is only reacting to its programming input by Tesco staff.

The fact that no one in Tesco had the commonsense at the time to realise this was bollocks speaks volumes about how Nanny has dumbed us all down!

Enjoy your birds and puddings this Christmas everyone, before Nanny bans them!


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Friday, June 08, 2012

Tesco's Tourettes



Well done Tesco for beating Nanny's strict censorship rules!

What am I talking about?

I will tell you.

Tesco recently offered for sale some rustic looking microwave Italian meals:

- “Le Palle de Nonno” and
- “Coglioni di Mulo”

Lovely!

Nice Italian name, nice packaging etc!

However, there was one small fly in the oinkment, Tesco didn't bother to check what these phrases meant.

- “Le Palle de Nonno” means "Grandad's Bollocks".

- “Coglioni di Mulo” means "Donkey Bollocks".

Well done Tesco for giving me a good laugh at Nanny's expense!

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Friday, October 07, 2011

Nanny Bans Sauce



We all like a bit of sauce, don't we missus?

I know I do..snut snut snut!

Therefore imagine my dismay when I read of the sad tale of Simon Hood (aged 27), who was recently planning to hold a barbecue in his garden.

Off he jolly well toddled to his local Tesco in Chineham, to buy a bottle of Jack Daniel's original Barbecue Sauce (containing a mere 1% of spirit).

A simple task I hear you ejaculate (can I say "ejaculate" before 9PM?).

Sadly no, for you see the Tesco was staffed by a jobsworth.

On presenting the bottle of sauce at the checkout, Mr Hood was asked to produce his id (note he was 27 years old, and therefore doesn't need to produce any id even if he were buying 100% surgical spirit).

Oddly enough Mr Hood had not brought with him any proof of age (why should he?), and the cashier refused to serve him.

Mr Hood sans sauce then complained to Tesco Customer Services, another jobsworth working there wrote back 4 days later:

"I can understand how annoying that must have been for you. I can only apologise for this happening.

However, we do have to ask for ID for any produce that contains alcohol, no matter the quantity of the alcohol in the product."

Bollocks!

No supermarket "has to ask for id" if someone looks over 18.

This is complete bullshit!

Boycott Tesco!

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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Booze Matters - Tesco


I see that Tesco are having a wee bit of trouble in applying for a licence to sell booze from their store in East Road Cambridge (between 11am-11pm).

The local police, and certain councillors, fear that "cheap" booze sold so near a school and "Jimmy's Night Shelter" could lead to a rise in alcohol related crime.

Errmmm...two points:

1 Supermarkets have rather tedious rules about selling booze to anyone who looks remotely under the age of 25 (unless they can produce an id). How likely is it that the store will sell it to the kids?

2 Does Cambridge not already have supermarkets, off licenses and pubs that sell booze? I seem to recall that it is full of them (indeed the local students are well known for imbibing in "Brideshead Revisited" quantities...yes, I know that was set in Oxford!).

It seems rather prissy to me for some people to be objecting to Tesco selling booze.

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

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Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Booze Matters - NICE Wades In


Father Ted- Father Jack Gives Up Alcohol

Sir Stephen Muckle | MySpace Video

Last week I observed that Tesco were playing the "minimum price of alcohol" game, and warned that National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) were sniffing around too.

Well, as expected, this week NICE have come out fully in favour of a minimum price of alcohol, claiming that it will reduce "problem/binge" drinking.

To my understanding of what Nanny claims to be "binge" drinking, this occurs when people are out and about in pubs and bars. Setting a minimum price will not affect these places, all it will do is push up the price of booze in supermarkets and off licences.

NICE also want more advice pushed down our throats about the dangers of booze.

The BBC, for good measure, interviewed some hapless/hopeless female this morning who had walked on some broken glass when pissed.

Boo Hoo!

She claimed that had she been given more "advice" about the dangers of booze, then the accident might not have happened.

For fark's sake!

When you drink 20 pints, or the equivalent, you know full well that you are pissed. In the event you walk on broken glass, or fall flat on your face you have no one to blame but yourself.

How stupid and irresponsible are people these days?

When I am pissed I immediately summon my sedan chair to convey me from bar to bar.

Does NICE really think that people with this level of "intelligence" will ever heed more advice (from which we are already drowning)?

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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Booze Matters - Supermarkets Want Their Cut

Al

Nanny, as we know, has long hated the working classes (people who don't live in Islington, non Guardian readers and who buy food based on what they can afford rather than overpriced trendy organic shit).

She hates the fact that the working classes (allegedly) drink more, eat more unhealthy stuff, and smoke more than the rest of the population. Nanny also really hates the fact that the working classes are more willing to stick the finger to Nanny and her minions.

Well now, it would appear that Nanny is broadening her perspective and spewing forth her bile at the middle class as well.

In yet another media headline grabbing attempt, some tedious part of the NHS (NHS Information Centre) has warned that the middle classes are now drinking more than the working classes.

Also, for good measure, Nanny warns that married couples are also more likely to drink more often than singletons.

Seemingly sales of wine have increased more than that of any other type of alcohol over the last two decades, up by more than 50% since 1992.

Are "working class" people not allowed to drink wine then?

Why does this mean that "middle class" people alone are drinking wine?

Nanny warns that more than 10 million people are drinking at hazardous levels.

That would include our "beloved" MPs and members of the medical profession (who are no mean slouches themselves when it comes to downing a few, in between a few puffs on a fag and a couple of lines of Bolivian marching powder).

Needless to say, health "experts" are using these "findings" to call for a minimum price for a unit of alcohol.

Golly gosh, hot into the fray comes Sir Terry Leahy, the chief executive of Tesco, who is also calling for...can you guess?...yes, that's right...a minimum price on alcohol.

Could that call be possibly connected to the fact that he wants to increase his profit margins?

No one is stopping him from raising the price of booze in his stores now, if he is really so concerned about our health.

Ah, but wait a minute, that would mean that he would lose market share. Far better he gets the government to legislate allowing him and his competitors to form a government backed price fixing cartel (which is actually not allowed under current laws).

In the event that the prices are raised, given Nanny's statement that the middle classes are in fact the ones drinking more, how exactly will raised prices lower the rate of drinking amongst the middle classes (whom we assume can more likely afford the increase)?

Have we not, until recently, been bombarded with shite from Nanny telling us that drink is responsible for all crime in Britain?

After all after a few drinks we all have the urge to go out and beat someone senseless, don't we?

Are we to assume from these anti middle class findings that it is in fact the drunken middle classes who are responsible for all crime in the UK?

Are married people more likely to be drunken criminals, rather than singletons?

It seems to me that Nanny is very selective when it comes to presenting and using the "facts" that claims to have "researched".

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Wednesday, October 07, 2009

The Dangers of Teaspoons

Tea Danger
I see that Nanny's prats in the supermarkets are up to their old tricks again.

This time Tesco, a store mentioned on this site on more than one occasion, has caused Emma Sheppard some degree of annoyance.

Ms Sheppard (21) was doing some shopping in Tesco Evesham, and included within her trolley a packet of teaspoons.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, Tesco demanded to see proof of age from Ms Sheppard.

For why?

Well my loyal readers it seems that, in Tesco's eyes, teaspoons are dangerous and as such you need to be over 25 in order to buy them.

Ms Sheppard didn't have any id on her, and therefore was banned from buying the teaspoons.

The Nanny state robs people of their common sense and their liberties.

Tesco clearly needs to be dealt with in a manner that hurts them where they feel the most pain; in their bottom line.

Boycott Tesco!

Tell them what you think via this link investor.relations@uk.tesco.com

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, August 10, 2009

Knobheaded Twats of The Millennium - Tesco

Twats!My thanks to Curmudgeon for alerting us to this story of utter Twattery (ooh...David Cameron's "banned" word!) from the supermarket aisles of Tesco.

Roy Downie, who is disabled, was attempting to buy a bottle of wine at Tesco Portsmouth. He was with his 16 year old daughter (Holly), who helps him carry shopping, because he needs assistance to get it back to his car.

The staff at Tesco refused to serve Mr Downie, because (yes, that's right) they decreed that he may be buying the wine for his daughter.

Mr Downie had to go back to the store, later on his own and buy the wine, and carry it back in the bag between his teeth.

No member of staff from Tesco bothered to help him.

Boycott Tesco!

Tesco, well deserving of my rare but highly prestigious "Knobheaded Twats of The Millennium" Award.

Here's a couple of email addresses, where you can tell them what you think of them:

customer.service@tesco.co.uk

investor.relations@uk.tesco.com

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Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Nanny Bans Plastic Cutlery

What The F!
I must admit that I had thought that I had seen the end of this absurd piece of Nannyism from our "rule creating" supermarkets, wrt asking for id for teaspoons etc.

How wrong I was.

I am told by one of my correspondents (aged 25) that this time our old friends from Tesco (one of their stores in Liverpool City Centre) has asked for proof of age id (whereby the store operative signs off that the purchaser is over 18) for cutlery.

I suppose it can be argued that as cutlery contains knives, that could be construed as a potentially dangerous purchase.

However, here's the rub, the cutlery for which age id was required was not metal, wood or ivory but PLASTIC!!!

Tesco Plastic Cutlery

Why can't a child (a person under 18) buy plastic cutlery? They seem well able to buy drugs, booze, weapons and porn without much bovver.

You can join the Army before you are 18, yet Tesco won't let you buy plastic cutlery until you are 18.

Nanny doesn't need to enact any more legislation to take away our personal freedoms, her apparatchiks in supermarkets etc are doing all her work for her!

BTW, I can't be bothered to register to look through the Tesco site but am advised that for some reason or other the plastic cutlery cannot be found on the Tesco site. Can anyone validate this?

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

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Saturday, May 09, 2009

Nanny Bans Teaspoons IV

It would appear from this follow up comment, made by the contributor of the Asda teaspoon story, that Asda are not the only supermarket imposing an id rule for the purchase of teaspoons.

"I sent the original photo in. Asda can deny it all they like but they'd be lying if they did. I've seen the receipt & I still have the photo of it on my phone - it says 'teaspoons', 'ID required, 18', my wife has it in her possession. She is not a liar, neither am I.

In the spirit of mischief my wife went to Tesco today & tried to purchase 2 latte teaspoons (the long handled & therefore potentially lethal variety) using the self service checkout.

Sure enough an assistant was required & she was asked for proof of ID. You need to be over 18.

What kind of insanity is this? I urge everyone to go to their local supermarket & buy spoons - use the self service checkout to force an assistant to make you provide ID. Then refuse to provide it.

If they insist on this moronic rule, walk out & leave the stuff where it is: it's not yours until you've paid for it
."

In the spirit of the above, I suggest that we conduct a series of tests, the length and breadth of the country, to id which supermarket chains and stores require id for the purchase of teaspoons.

Those that require an id should be named, shamed and boycotted.

Please post your findings on this site.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Tesco and ID Cards

Big Brother
It seems that Tesco are again trying to help Nanny impose ID cards by the back door, as Karen Dumelow (46) found to her cost the other day.

Mrs Dumelow was shopping at her local Tesco in Portsmouth, with her 14 year old daughter Emily, and presented for purchase two bottles of wine at the check out.

Can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right, the cashier said that she could not serve her in case the wine was given to Emily.

Mrs Dumelow then spoke to three senior members of staff, all of whom sided with with the cashier, they wanted to see identification for Emily.

How would that have helped, given that Emily was under age and that the alleged reason for not selling the wine was that Mrs Dumelow would give it to Emily?

Additionally of course, as Emily was 14, she didn't have any ID!

To add insult to injury, having sent Emily back to the car, Mrs Dumelow was then able to buy the wine from the same cashier.

Ermmm...but according to Tesco logic doesn't that mean she could still give Emily the wine in the car?

Clearly Tesco have an agenda which defies logic!

Mrs Dumelow then wrote to Tesco head office telling them what she thought of them, only then did they admit they were idiots.

Quote:

"We work hard to prevent under-age sales, including proxy sales where adults purchase alcohol for under-18s. However in this instance we got it wrong and sincerely apologise."

A smal point Tesco, it is pefectly legal for a parent to give their child a drink at home.

Clearly an eye needs to be kept on Tesco!

Send Tesco an email customer.service@tesco.co.uk

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries